We may have found magic in paracetamol and a white noise app, mere moments after I complained. Magic of the forums? 
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Noooooooooo. I hope your magic fix sticks.
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It lasted 2 hours, which is as long as anything lasts around here. Now I’m just up coz I have a hungry Pumpkin.
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Because my toddler has successfully trained his parents.
Toddler (miraculously!) has slept until 6 am the last two nights. Both husband and I woke up at 5, because we’re conditioned to do so. 
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Because my kid slept 6h in a row, two nights running and my body doesn’t know what to do with this glorious rest. Also maintaining toddler sleep comfort for the next hour, so I’m trapped
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Because I’m a sleep aid and food source.
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A) sleep aid and food source
B) husband thought the cat begging to go out super seceded my rule about it, so I had to let him in
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Because my workplace doesn’t believe in gentleman’s hours.
Look, it’s friday. 10 am - 2 pm is a totally reasonable schedule, with a 2 hour paid lunch.
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10 am is a bit early. Shall we make it 1115?
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Apparently also new teeth
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Because I can’t decide between sleep and food. Eventually the sleep will win by default.
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Baby needed to poop, and now won’t sleep. I’m so tired.
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Bad dream. I know why it happened, I know what it meant, I immediately took melatonin to try to get back to sleep … Two hours later I’m still awake. Sigh. I have shit to do tomorrow! I don’t want to be exhausted!
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Because baby is napping ON me. If she’d consent to nap NEXT to me, you bet I’d be asleep too.
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Baby PDM blesses me with a sleep next to me or on my arm. It is truly is a blessing. The transfer from chest hold to beside me is fraught with danger. Sometimes the gamble doesn’t pay off and I have to stand up and start the whole routine again.
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I fell asleep on the couch and the cat just woke me up to inform me that I am In His Spot (or at least his current-am spot) and must vacate so he can continue his sleep tour of the house.
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3:30am. Everything sucks. Is it wrong to feel a rage that burns like a thousand suns towards a small child? You brought this plague upon our house. We need sleep. Our coughs and congestion are already making sleep hard to come by. You ruin me during the day with incessant demands, tantrums and far too high need for play and are a lot. You don’t get to ruin the wee hours of the night with screaming crying fits demanding only mum. We already have someone playing that role.
Pick a lane buddy. Ruin the day or the night. Not both.
And we’re in a three day snap lockdown so that’s fun. Best distraction we can hope for tomorrow is a long walk.
No one would judge me if I just left right? Started a fresh somewhere else? I think I’d like to live on a tropical island. I could be a bartender. I’d call my self Sam Fox.
“Welcome to paradise. What’s your poison?”
“Kids? Nah never met the right person. No one ties old Sammy the Fox down. Especially not by spreading daycare sickness. What do mean that’s oddly specific?”
I’ve got a good personality, I’m sure my Australian accent would be a nice novelty. “Nah, not from around here, just sort of washed up here one day and never left. How could you leave here?”
I’d snooze in hammocks, sip from coconuts, get fit swimming with turtles. What little hair I have would get sun bleached.
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Poor PDM. It’s 4:30 AM here so I’m hoping you and Toddler PDM fell asleep snuggled up.
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6:30am. We are not. I swapped gave him back to his mum. Then had disturbed fever dreams until 5:20 when baby PDM awoke to start his day. He has just been handed back after an hour of waking him around the house so he can feed and sleep. I was this close to getting him to sleep but he started chewing my arm off. I did see the sunrise though?
The sunrises are going to be amazing on the tropical island. Vodka sunrises.
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it all sounds like a complete wreck over there. i wish we could descend on your home with help.
really want to get mushy but don’t want to be weird about it, just know that we all see what awesome parents you guys are and anyone would want to run screaming from a sick toddler. 
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