This is the worst, like, THE WORST, because it makes your brain want to sleep when it can’t, but I’ve had luck on these occasions with just being awake and otherwise completely boring in a dark room with all the night stuff still going (fan, whatever) for up to an hour until the awake mode in her brain switched back to sleep mode.
I’ve had to do this with a baby furious that I wouldn’t put her down to play all the way up to a toddler screaming “no nigh-nigh” in a tent at 4am, but it’s usually worked by day 2 to get her to back down for a bit longer (at the end of that hour-ish, mind) and a day or so more to go back to a more reasonable wake time.
YMMV, but as furious as she’s ever gotten in those times, it’s still different than the left alone cries, so maybe wouldn’t work yours into the same lather?
I’ve also just safety-proofed a (dark) area and laid down in it to get some sleep while she entertained herself flinging puzzle pieces or w/e, because both of us didn’t always have to be awake the entire time to make it work. The biggest thing is just always keeping night stuff in place so that she doesn’t get the satisfaction of daytime stuff until a proper time to be awake.
Yeah, we were doing video games/TV at the 430 wake ups but I’m trying to put in place a ban on screens until 5AM… It is taking me a while to get the hang of it. It worked for bigger kid, who has a screens ban until 6AM. I lasted half an hour in her room, tomorrow morning I’ll see if getting to an hour works. The kids are sharing a room now but Duckling doesn’t seem to be too bothered by his sisters noises
Yes, I think that’s a good way to put it. We preserve with our particular strategies of "it’s not daytime yet ’ because even with severe protesting on night 1 and sometimes night 2, by the third or fourth night it’s a much easier process.
She slept 4.5+ hour stretch to 3AM, which is really long for her. Definitely think its longer stretches making her body think she’s slept enough. Putting my alarm on for 245AM for a dream feed tomorrow, I’ll turn off the alarm if she has a feed at 2 or after. 3AM and she knew it was back to sleep but needed a bit of white noise and hand holding. Ooh need to find the spare phone to play white noise tomorrow too.
Oh, if you don’t have white noise on all night in the bedroom, I’d definitely recommend it!! We have apps on our phone with decibel meters to make sure it’s not over 50. Pipsqueak has a standalone white noise machine in her bedroom that is on for all naps and all nighttime sleep.
How long are kids sick for when they start school? My kids just started K and preschool two weeks ago after being home with me for 2.5 years and we’ve had two different viruses already. Is this just my life now until next summer or does the pace of sickness slow down? Please tell me we’re not going to be sick 90% of the next 9 months!
Six months to a year from what I’ve seen is pretty typical not continuously sick but like… off and on every few weeks, and one person sick at a time pretty continuously if it rolls through the family slowly.
But of course, this relies on SO MANY factors. Age, immune function, sleep, all sorts of stuff will influence severity and duration of illnesses in addition to frequency.
My kid poked his friend in the eye. She started sobbing and he said he was going to do it again. They took him out, talked to him, he tried to poke his teachers in the eyes. They did deep breathing, jumping jacks, but he was still too silly and hyperactive. They put him in the class and HE WENT AND POKED HER AGAIN. He just wouldn’t leave this poor girl alone so the teachers brought him in the office and we’re going to see how the rest of the day goes. He was told he is not allowed near that friend anymore that day because she is sad.
Okay, so, not great, very surprising, my kid has great impulse control. Even now when he’s FURIOUS I’ve seen hi lift his hand to hit but hold himself back.
The thing is, he’s not great at social stuff. Still learning lots about all that and seems to think that poking people in the eye is hilarious and doesn’t care that his friend is sobbing. Doesn’t care about any messages that tell him he’s a good friend and good friends do this.
My thinking is that he’s trying really hard to connect with this kid (they wouldn’t tell me who, but he is obsessed with the idea of having a sister so I assume one or two of his classmates whom he mentions often) and we have to talk more about how to do that the right way. And empathy? But you can’t teach that?
Idk - any thoughts?
I promise my kid isn’t generally a dickhead.
I asked for the other students name but they don’t give those out because they don’t want kids to be labelled. I hesitated to offer that the parent reach out to me to come up with a plan, but I mean, their kid is able to say who it was so w/e. Bad move on my part or no?
Have you tried giving him concrete scripts for connection? “She doesn’t like that. She will not play with you if you do that. Instead, you can ask her for a high five. Let’s practice!”
You’re fine on this front. It’s a good thought on your part but they have policies they have to stick to, possibly handed down from the state level.
We got the Hands Are Not For Hitting book (along with Teeth Are Not For Biting which was more our issue … almost got kicked out of daycare when he bit SIX TIMES in one day! ) and others in the Best Behavior series, I love those books.
Do you know why Meowlet was poking? For Kiddo biting was a great way to get what he wanted. That kid has a toy I want? Bite. Toy. Win! Was Meowlet just doing it because it seemed funny or as a power play or what.
I really think it’s a lack of social knowledge. “Maladaptive play invitation.”
He’s probably got ADHD, honestly, his dad has it, and he can hyperfocus like no one’s biz. Behavioral stuff like this does pop up with kids who have executive function issues.
So from that I’ve seen from OT then, I think he could really benefit from some role play. You as the other child, loveys as the other children, etc. If you can go somewhere like to a park and practice him doing appropriate play invitations with other children that’s especially awesome but more reserved kids won’t practice under those conditions necessarily.
I don’t have any resources aimed toward kids handy but I feel like empathy can be taught. Some people learn it by watching others and are more naturally wired this way; others do have to learn step by step how to cultivate the skill to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
When my kiddo was Meowlet’s age we focused way more on the impulse and action rather than the why or feelings behind it. Like, identify the impulse and then practice appropriate actions. Repeated a millions times lol
We literally had a mantra “honor the impulse” because for us trying to figure out why was getting us nowhere while our toddler was an unpredictable maniac
He in fact did poke his best friend in the eye. While we were driving. And cackled his little head off.
Lots of role play and lots of finding alternatives to the inappropriate physical impulse. Like if he suddenly felt like throwing something really hard, in public we had him throw crumpled up paper as hard as he could at the ground and at home had him throw scoops of ice cream against the shower wall as hard as he could.
Lots of practicing him identifying his impulse and then progress to anticipating - the goal was for him to eventually be able to regulate his actions by knowing when he would be lonely to want to do xyz and do something different
When he poked his friend in the eye, he had gotten really good at announcing his intent so the backseat was
“I’m going to poke you in the eye!” Poke Scream and angry hurt crying Cackle
We have been dealing with a lot of impulsive violence this year and it is really hard. For a lot of behaviours if I can catch him ahead of time and suggest a better behaviour he does the better one. We have bitey toys and bitey bracelets.
But I think it is normal and the kids will figure it out and you are doing a great job parenting it out
Is there a way we can get Kiddo to not share all our business with my mom?
Under the heading of “this wasn’t a problem that existed when I was a kid”, he is able to do video calls on his tablet with his grandparents and he likes to chatter away about whatever. For the most part this is fine, I’m glad he has a better relationship with his grandparents than I had with mine (which wasn’t bad, it was just absent due to distance and long distance phone calls were $$$ then). But my mom requires firm boundaries or else she starts to meddle. I typically keep her on an information diet. That doesn’t really work with Kiddo not having any sort of filter.
not continuously sick but like… off and on every few weeks, and one person sick at a time pretty continuously if it rolls through the family slowly.
) and others in the Best Behavior series, I love those books.