Have you tried coffee? Espresso really gets my poop moving. Maybe a double shot for him in the morning (orally).
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What am I looking for when I read a medicine bottle to tell these apart?
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Goooood question… I used the American brand names and this came up:
Dulcolax contains bisacodyl, a stimulant laxative. It works by increasing the activity of the intestines to cause a bowel movement. Miralax contains polyethylene glycol 3350, an osmotic laxative. It works by attracting water in the colon, which softens stools and makes them easier to pass
So Stimulant vs Osmotic laxative? (Sorry no idea) Maybe BJ knows? LOL
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Yep, stimulant laxative or “active laxative” is what you want to avoid. “bulking agent” “osmotic agent” or “stool softener” I think would be terms for the gentler ones? Fiber products or docusate sodium are the ones I know off the top of my head for stool softeners. Senna products are active laxatives IIRC, though I’m not positive.
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A little on the difference: osmotic agents pull water into your bowels, and fiber provided more structure to move stuff along. Whereas active or stimulant laxatives directly cause peristalsis of the gut. Which is fine for occasional use as directed by a ped, but you don’t want to overuse them or you can run into rebound effects.
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How do you say no less to toddlers whilst keeping them alive and maintaining a semblance of sanity?
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The million dollar question. A phrase that has helped me a TON is “I’m allowed to set boundaries. She’s allowed to be upset by that”. Cuz whooooboy can she get upset when I set and hold a boundary. The other thing to for me is that baby proofing is a massive sanity saver. She runs me ragged even with a pretty well baby proofed house, I really feel like discipline shouldn’t try to replace environmental modification if that makes sense, it sets up too many power struggles. And then finally one I think you’re on board with already- only say no when you need to. Unless there’s a good reason to say no, ignore it, or “make it a yes”- redirect that energy to an appropriate outlet. (Ie, Latte loves hanging on the fridge. “Not safe! Let’s go swing on the bar on the trampoline instead!”)
ETA I realize I read your question a little wrong so my wording is weird, but the ideas are all in there. Baby proofing, ignoring, and redirecting are my big ones. When that fails, turn stuff into a game or a song to head off an incoming danger struggle.
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I don’t have great advice but one thing I have been trying to do is only say no to things that actually are dangerous and can’t happen. So “can I wash the dishes?” Annoying and a mess but yes. “can I run in traffic?” Nope that’s dangerous.
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Yeah, I try to say yes but mitigate damage where I can. You want to use the glass water scoop? Okay, but we’re not doing it at the counter. Sit on the floor and we can scoop into the jar from there. Etc.
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Yeah. The baby proofing didn’t happen in this house. And I’m fucking furious but also want to stay married and love my husband. But literally every time he does something fun instead of babyproof…
He mostly specializes in baby unproofing. Like leaving all his adult stuff within the kid’s reach. And the kid’s reach changes every day. And he can use assistive technology like moving furniture to get what he wants. I’ve basically given up on the kitchen being emptied onto the floor all day every day, but have to sort out for dangers. And the coffee plunger wasn’t dangerous until the kid dismantled it.
Today I just started throwing things out. I’m overwhelmed and exhausted and I don’t want to go to Montreal for a weekend I want to fucking finish something anything in the house and have enough free time to take Leo outside to play and apparently I have completely collapsed this morning because it’s too much and not fair.
And if I buy other babyproofing supplies and babyproof then it’s a whole other fight. Like why can’t I just have a few things done so I can actually live and parent and work and relax
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Oh Christ I could have written this 6 months ago. Husband and I have had like… very few fights ever. I finally had to have a fucking breakdown and scream about nightmares
intrusive thoughts
Of furniture falling on Latte and killing her
Before he finally took care of stuff. It was so, so frustrating and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this stuff too. As for the getting rid of shit, I’m in a Motherhood and Minimalism group on FB that can be lovely community around this. LMK if you want a link or anything, it’s helped my brain to see other people struggling with all of this as well.
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Oh and this. I have a basket on husbands dresser. His shit all gets put in there. It made the point quickly. BUT, SirB defaults to being a fairly tidy person with temporary lapses so may have been more responsive to that approach.
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Yeah…G is more in the probably neurodiverse puts things down and they cease existing camp. With the added bonus of any and all tidying for the first 40 years being 100% his mom and not him. Like I cannot explain how much better he’s gotten in the past year. But the idea that babyproofing is more important than fun is purely alien to him
Edit that putting away tools etc for him perpetuates the cycle of him not understanding where things go/how they find new places
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Oh gosh this was my ex. Unmedicated ADHD (he had meds, but didn’t like to take them). For example would sit on and break his sunglasses (and sometimes mine) every couple months. I’m like… don’t you look before you sit down? Now that I’ve learned about the idea of “slob vision” and more about ADHD it makes more sense to me, but loooooord did we fight about that stuff. That’s SO hard. If you haven’t run across KC Davis with struggle care, she has some great house sanity while neurodivergent content.
Would it help to lay it out? “Things are not baby proofed. That means he and I have more battles of will. Help me set up a system that prevents that, so that you have a happier and easier baby from here going forward because he’s not constantly upset with his mother”? Draw a very direct cause and effect line?
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Even clearer - That means he and I have more battles of will and I will be more stressed out every day.
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Ohhhhhh my husband is this. My god it is frustrating.
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I got out my feelings and I’m better now and I know what I need to ask for help with.
But we built the sofas last Thursday. Why is the cardboard mountain still blocking the closet? (Time also does not exist, it has been one second his time since he promised to handle it). He 100% means it and just doesn’t know. I hope your move has not caused mayhem with stuff out of control
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I got a handle on things before the baby was born by nagging, cajoling and reminding. Since her birth, nothing has happened. Now it looks like we’ll be moving again (FOR THE LAST TIME EVER SO HELP ME GOD), in December, but this time with two toddlers. Yay?
Good luck with your mountain. That does sound daunting.
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Did you get the house with the pool??? I am excited to visit any house of yours but especially that one
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I think so? We sent them a list of things we want repaired or for them to take money off the price for us to repair, and we’re awaiting their response/negotiation. But I think we’re probably going to end up with it either way. And then you’re invited! You’re all invited.
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