Random Questions, Parenting Edition

How do you use cloth diapers as swim diapers? I have covers and inserts, and I can only find directions for AIOs.

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They sell cloth/reusable swim diapers which are like covers with an inner mesh. Otherwise maybe just do a cover? You’re trapping poo, apparently pee is allowed to escape

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You can use just a cover, But a pocket without an insert is probably the best. BUT it will ruin the diaper if using in a chlorinated pool, so you’d only want to do it with one you’re okay with being ruined I think.

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Ah very good to know! Okay, I think I have a couple truly rough hand me down pockets that I could sacrifice to this cause. It may be pool or ocean or both, unknown at this point.

Yeah for sure. Because otherwise the water would be absorbed instead of just pee haha.

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Yup, and you don’t want a heavy nappy on the baby! I do like the purpose built swim nappies and we have 3 in a size at any time in case of mid-swim poops, plus a spare for later that day… but I also use shells if just in the ocean.

The thing is, this is just for a vacation. We don’t regularly go swim anywhere right now.

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How the fuck do I teach my tiny asshat that poking me in the diaphragm is Not Allowed? We’re lecturing and I’m refusing to play with him because it hurts and he thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

I am not handling this well and I don’t know how to.

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Firm no and/or “ow that hurts” followed by whatever consistent form of punishment you employ. Consistent is the key. What worked for us was timeouts. My oldest had SUCH a temper. She would scream and thrash around in timeout. We used to engage and yell at her to get back into timeout and face the wall but eventually discovered that firmly putting her back on without talking, not giving eye contact, not talking, and just ignoring her was the best course.

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Can he reach if you stand? I see taking the “biting puppy” approach if not- immediately stand and turn your back. “Poking ruins play. So now we cannot play” Go and do something else before returning to play. Don’t make it a Big Thing, just a natural and immediate consequence.

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This is exactly what we did the past few days when Kiddo was getting uppie a lot and then using his hands on my face to turn my head.

  1. “Stop. Do not put your hands on my face.”
  2. “STOP. Do it again and you have to stand on your own feet.”
  3. He is immediately put down.

Several instances later (there was lots of uppie, it was a physically tiring few days for him) we just skipped straight to step 3. At least once he said sorry, I picked him up, he immediately did it again so I put him down and told him he was on a break for a few minutes. He started fussing, we threatened to get out of line for the fun thing we were doing. Pouting, sulking, but otherwise acceptable behavior in public.

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These are good ideas. Issues to address:

  1. He can reach my diaphragm when I stand. I’m short.
  2. He thinks it’s a game that I said no.
  3. I tried turning around but he has quick legs and long gangly toddler arms.
  4. I gave responsibility to Dad, and Duckling tried to chase after me and was plotting how to poke me more (out loud, as per toddlers) while I took a break in another room.
  5. Dad had to fetch Duckling after he’d run into my timeout area to poke me.more. he had to be carried away.

Is it possible we are doing things right (beyond me not staying calm, I will work on that more) and I just have to wait a few years for him to get over it? The parenting shit online suggests kids understand in the moment that shit is not ok if you’re doing it right, but now I’m thinking he’s definitely going to need a much longer amount of think-it-through time.

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What discipline methods are you doing currently?

Like I said, timeouts in a very boring corner worked best for us. Early on we did use some spanking and I know some parents still use it, but other than really gently hand slaps or rough grabs if they’re about to do something really dangerous I’m convinced (like most people I think) that spanking isn’t good parenting because of cycle of violence.

If he runs out, put him right back in. No yelling, eye contact, acknowledgement. If necessary use a way to contain him, like a gate, playpen, high chair, etc?

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We do “natural consequences”, so from this the consequence would be Mum Can’t Play. I just need to get my head back in the game of applying that calmly instead of turning into an anxious banshee (helloooooo training from my childhood). I’m so glad I ranted on here though because it made it clear that I have GOT to apply it calmly. Any other response and he tries to gamify it.

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Yeah calm and consistent is key IMO. But if it doesn’t work, consider other discipline methods because every kid is different. My mom gave up on spanking me pretty early because I had a super high pain tolerance but timeouts were apparently pure torture and I begged to be let out after like 60 seconds, lol.

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My kiddo went through a phase of that. But goosing me :unamused: In public :woman_facepalming:

Me getting annoyed made it worse. Me totally ignoring it a few times even though it reaaaalllly felt NotGood did work. But, full on ignoring, while talking to his dad, as if child was not in existence on the planet.

As soon as he stopped I’d say "oh hi Kid I see you standing calmly; want to play a game/help me clean/get a coffee/whatever I’d been trying to do before being violated by a toddler that just discovered actions have power.

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Child psych in my family says some kids just aren’t developmentally ready to understand at this age (when I questioned similar issues with Ewok). Apparently kids with secure attachment take longer to learn not to do this shit, because they’re not motivated by fear you’ll withdraw your love. So, that’s kind of a silver lining??

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Oh that’s interesting! And is very reassuring.

My kiddo was a bear around age 4 and it was often hard in public (for me feeling self-conscious; he didn’t care haha) because so many other kids had already been through a lot of those behavior phases.

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Katscratch’s “ignore, then give attention when they have calmed down” advice is consistent with child pysch’s advice, too, if that’s a thing that reassures you.

Ewok has recently gone through some annoying phases that a lot of other kids we know went through a whole year earlier :upside_down_face: in our case I think delaying daycare meant later onset of issues like biting.

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Ohhh I can see that too. Our daycare was different ages and Kiddo wasn’t in a group with his own age until 3.5-4 Spanish class/preschool.

…a lot of my toddler parenting techniques are identical to my dog training techniques. The latter I actually trained for :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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I should add, I am probably overly-concerned with not screwing up my kiddo since I’m breaking the cycle of intergenerational abuse etc. So for me, I’m only willing to do the types of behaviour control that aren’t correlated with worse psychological outcomes for little kids. We will never do time outs for that reason (and I think they’re banned in daycares in Aus?); “time ins” are meant to be okay but would be wildly ineffective with Ewok’s personality.

ETA: maybe a time in would be effective with Duckling, since he’s a very different kid from Ewok in lots of ways?

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