Random Questions, Parenting Edition

OK team. How do I get this baby to sleep longer in his bassinet? We can get about a 45 min nap in there tops. We have a fan on because it gets stuffy with the door closed, a white noise machine, and blackout curtains. He’ll sometimes sleep for like 2 hours on me, but I would really like him to do that in the bassinet so I can sleep too, or do…anything else lol. Help!!

5 Likes

Also please tell me if I’m silly and maybe under 3 months is a dumb time to attempt this change :sweat_smile:

3 Likes

One time last week this worked. Maybe if the deities bless me it will work again:

I put the troublemaking thing (in this case a bottle he was shaking upside down to make Jackson Pollack art on the floor) out of reach. Let him scream for 15-30 seconds. Then hugged him and said, “Do you want to try again? No mess?”

3 Likes

3 months is really early to expect consistency, but you can try introducing some transition skills. For example, when you hear Ravi stirring, try laying a hand on his belly and breathing slowly for a few minutes and see if he can put himself back to sleep.

I have also put a book under the head end of bassinet mattress to very gently elevate the mattress. And tucked a rolled-up burp cloth under the knees to simulate being cuddled in a curled up ball. Basically, try things that lightly resemble what it’s like to sleep on you.

This is not necessarily conducive to you sleeping more initially but might help longer term.

4 Likes

Thanks everyone! I think I try pieces of all of these… like rocky guessed the hardest is hurting the baby, or me, or harassing the nursing baby. And because there aren’t always enough adults, that can be a worse withdrawal of affection in our family than a timeout

But I am still taking ALL the ideas to combine into a superparent.

6 Likes

I have no tips for sleep, but babywearing is my only getting things done tip. Otherwise nothing happens ever. Maybe I need to start tandem wearing…

5 Likes

4 months seems to be about the time that many babies start getting into better routines of AM nap/PM nap and for 45m-1.5h depending on the kid. This is from a very casual survey of moms I know, your child may vary. With one of my kids, 4 months was a magical finally you are the baby I was hoping for, time but for the other…not a lot of noticeable difference.

As far as bassinet goes, as they get a bit older I think bassinet (depending on what you have of course), becomes less comfy. If I did it again, I would have switched to the crib/crib mattress earlier.

ETA: And babywearing is king. I didn’t get into it much with kid 1 because it seemed like such a hassle. Silly me. With kid 2 it saved my life.

6 Likes

Oof naps are hard. I think Cara says that naps don’t really consolidate until 5-6 months, so it may be tough to get long independent naps at this age.

We weren’t able to consistently get longer naps until we went down to 1 nap at 1 year old. (Sorry that’s not reassuring but did want you to know that you’re not alone!)

3 Likes

45 minutes in bassinet nap at < 3 months is a good nap for a lot of babies. You could try lying next to him in bed, you awake, and use that to get him used to lying next to you instead of on you >> transitional skill towards him lying in cot/ bassinet instead of on you.

5 Likes

Once we worked out nursing on my side with the baby on the bed rather than on me, many things improved. It does depend if it feels risky to have the baby sleep on the bed rather than in the bassinet, though?

But I could read an actual book that way (I am not a napper) and eventually I could even get up and do stuff while the baby slept.

And he is once again in timeout for biting me. Because he is overtired and cranky about me nursing/walking off when he attacked the baby nursing. And no one we can find will see us to help this young.

12 Likes

I’m sorry. Wanting help and knowing you need it and not being able to get it sucks.

3 Likes

I came across an interesting interview on kids & screen time.

If we want our kids to be inclusive and kind in virtual spaces, we have to teach what kindness and inclusivity looks like in those virtual spaces… The vast majority of teens don’t respond when they see someone being mistreated in a virtual space because they have never practiced what they should do. Even though if they saw someone being mistreated in a physical space they would immediately know how to act - it’s a skill they’ve practiced since the first days of kindergarten.

I hadn’t thought about mindful participation (not just mindful consumption) as something to teach, but it makes sense.

9 Likes

Ooh, this a good reminder to dig into these thing with my kids. When we did a cell phone contract, I summarized it as “Be safe, be kind, be responsible,” but we haven’t talked a lot about what “kind” means (as far as people online and the people in the room with you IRL).

5 Likes

See, this is why my kid knows that (all my screentime) is talking to aunt smacky! (The only one of you he believes in)

5 Likes

I’m back to report tooth brushing success! I can’t find my initial question, but I think it was around October.

I stole a bit from every approach y’all described here. We offered regularly for a few weeks but that didn’t get us anywhere. He did realize that pulling floss out of the container is really fun so that probably helped make tooth time more fun too.

About a month ago I decided it was time to make it happen. For about 2 weeks we brushed as part of bedtime every day, even if I had to hold him down a bit (almost every time he would resist for 2 seconds, and then open his mouth). I bought Burt’s Bees strawberry toothpaste which was a lot more palatable than our minty stuff. I decided that ANY contact of brush with teeth was a success, and stopped as soon as he opened (dog training technique :joy:). He gradually let me brush for longer and longer.

Today: “Let me do it!” and he grabbed the brush and brushed himself. Then Bear said “Remember Zoe (in a book) brushes a little bit by herself and then mama helps her? You did a good job. Daddy will help you now a little bit okay?” and he was content with that as well. Hoping it sticks!

Potty is next…

17 Likes

What do you all think about this recent brouhaha surrounding natural gas stoves/poor indoor air quality/childhood asthma risk? I don’t know why I’m only just now hearing about it, but the primary literature looks pretty damning. Of course we just bought a new gas stove like 6 months ago :weary:.

4 Likes

It did seem like a pretty solid study :cry: and isn’t based on just one study. Apparently they’ve had big suspicions there for like 50 years?!? consumer protection is apparently discussing a ban in the US. 40% of US households have gas stoves so that’s a huge change. I imagine though it’ll be a warning label and still sold is my guess.

3 Likes

Yeah, there’s like dozens of studies spanning decades. And the increase in risk is huge, not some small but statistically significant change. 40% increase in asthma risk in one study I read yesterday. Why is everything everywhere trying to poison us!? We’re buying an indoor air quality monitor that can track NOx. After that I’m sure we’re buying an induction stove, but husband wants to see numbers first.

4 Likes

Yeah I saw one figure that estimated like 18% of all US asthma cases are attributable to gas stoves :exploding_head::exploding_head::exploding_head:

2 Likes