We have a solid plastic one and it definitely supports her weight! Annoyingly 
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What time should an 8 week old go to bed? This isn’t always up to us, Ravioli tends to conk out at like 6:30/7ish so I’ve been going with that, but should we be trying to keep him up later? Would that help with him waking up at 4am?
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I think shoulds start at like 16 weeks. Maybe 12? Sorry
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No apology needed, that is also useful information 
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Yeah, until 4 months old my babies were 100% on demand. The sleep when they want and they eat when they want and there is absolutely no schedule. Around 4 months is when I started trying to have “bedtime” and “naps” during the day.
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Same. 4 months is also when we introduced a bedtime routine, changing her clothing AM and PM, a book before bed, etc.
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Once again letting those YouTube moms make me feel inadequate !! Thank you everyone for the reality check
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Also worth noting that until she was like 7-8 months old, we would every single nap spend about 25 min to get her down for a 20 min nap. (And still sometimes after that)
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It’s embarrassing to realize how much I love and thrive on a routine!
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I distinctly remember a 45 minute put down for a 20 minute nap and how mad I was about it. I had just gotten properly comfortable in my chair.
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Nope. 
ETA: i think, from fuzzy memory, both my kids had determined the routine they would accept by about 6 months. Plz note I had no say in the routine.
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Many. Many of those.
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Yes this you don’t get to pick but at least it’s more predictable and you can work around it some.
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I don’t understand how to teach my kid how to handle anger. Can I get some help? @noitsbecky?
Here are some examples.
- We got rid of a toy he really liked because it was moldy. This has been a week-long thing.
He notices its gone and starts sobbing. I tell him it is gone, because it couldn’t be fixed. It’s sad when that happens and feels very big. I am here to be sad with him. Does he need a hug? To rock in the chair?To drink some water?
Usually it results in long rambling conversations about tracking down the dump truck or junkyard and trying to bargain with them to get his toy back. Which is sad and endless and I try to just not go down that route because it’s the same question, “What would the garbage man say if I took my toy and held it tight and didn’t give it to him?”
The most “successful” has been “Do you want to sit in the chair and rock with me?” That has helped him a bit and he was able to just cry and said over and over “I am sad.”
Since this happens at bathtime, I usually give him the option of taking a break from bath, even if it derails everything.
- When he’s angry, there’s no real reasoning with him. Usually he goes to his room on his own and tells us to go away. Or he tries to break something in anger (ie, throws the milk on the floor). He also tries to spit at us because he knows he can’t hit.
I have suggested jumping in anger or running around or playing chase or roaring very load. It doesn’t often work. Usually I just have to sit with him and physically restrain him from hitting us or hurting himself. I don’t feel great since it doesn’t seem like I’m helping him learn any regulation.
Any other thoughts?
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So this sounds more like “perseveration” than straight up anger. And there’s unique things for dealing with that. Let me see if I can find the article on that, it really helped reframe Latte’s endless asking the same question over and over like a weird anxious trance.
Here it is/
Also, can you avoid baths for now? Switch to showering together instead?
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What are some situations you’ve found her perseverating and how have you helped her move on? This seems like it makes sense but I’m struggling to figure out how to act on it.
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Not many beyond understanding what’s going on and not losing my shit because I understand it better 
she stopped doing it as bad, so it’s been a non issue for a while. And then distraction, obviously. I’ll happily do acknowledging, etc for a while then it honestly feels less like letting her work through stuff and more like being stuck so I just move the day on and refuse to circle back to it. I move to a “we already talked about that” and “I’m not answering this anymore right now” but she’s also not destructive in the same way.
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That lady has an IG, she might have stories on it.
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We had a short lived but beloved toy that broke over a month ago. We still here about it on a regular basis.
…we did replace it with a slightly different sturdier version of the same thing. That may be prolonging the memory because it’s often when she’s playing with it that we here “X broke, I had X and it broke. Now I have different X”.
Looking forward to reading the article and hopefully coming up with ideas.
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I hit reply and realized I had more to say. We didn’t replace the toy right away, there was a 1.5 week period where everyday we heard about how sad she was that X broke.
So we started talking about whether we (aka Grandma) could make a new version that wouldn’t break so easily. As soon as this idea was introduced we started hearing “X broke, Grandma is making a new one”
I leaned into “yes, sometimes things break” or “that happens” as a neutral response and that seemed to help break the full sadness cycle we were getting into. After that neutral acknowledgement I generally moved on to doing something else to signal that we didn’t need to dwell on it.
Also I think there’s some parenting judgment calls here. If my favorite coffee mug breaks I will likely replace it. There are some things that give me consistent joy and I think it’s ok to let kids have beloved things too if it’s feasible to replace it or replace it with something that won’t get moldy that might be the right call. Or it might be that this particular thing doesn’t come back and is a learning experience on how to be at peace with things that break.
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