This thread is super into framing him as a gaslighter: [UGH I can’t find it… but basically that he’s abusive and probably also got violent in his madness]
I think hes mostly an idiot? And needs mental health help, but so do we all. It’s all a part of growing as a human.
I think its so funny how much you hate Natalie and how much I like her LOL.
Like for sure she probably was not a great listener and needed to be better. That was clear, they had a communication difference that they needed to address - but she was honest about that!!
ALSO no one addressed the weird ass scene where Shaina told Shayne that his relationship with Natalie was fake.
Shayne is really hard for me to get a read on. I saw a comment earlier about how recent his dad’s death was - and that maybe he shouldn’t be on the show. I think that’s probably right. From what I see of him, he and Natalie didn’t have great communication in person and did love each other. His emotional volatility could just mean he’s a highly sensitive person, or that the show was too much for him after a recent loss, or that he’s a gaslighty abuser. None of us know.
I do know that if your fiancé says the night before the wedding “I hate you and I wish I’d never met you”. And you’ve only known each other six weeks, not getting married makes sense.
And the drinking. Again, it can be an on the show thing or a real problem. So hard to know
I don’t think he’s an idiot at all! I think he, like most people who haven’t found a successful relationship, needs to work on his communication skills and maybe his drinking as well. I feel like he gets judged a lot based on appearance/dude bro vibes. I get zero abusive vibes off him, but I do off Natalie, I think she’s manipulative.
Natalie, I think in her heart, believes she did nothing wrong. Like she says it was both of them, but like, I don’t see any evidence that she believes that at all since she doesn’t ever volunteer it or get specific. She seems like one of those people that uses honesty as a shield. Like, “I know I can be -insert negative trait-!” and then keeps doing it. Or like, “no offense but -insert offensive thing-.” Haha, I can’t stand her. I just get really bad vibes.
I forgot about that scene with Shaina and Shayne! I think it got overshadowed by the Mallory and Jarrett thing.
I’m team Natalie when it comes to Natalie and Shayne.
I was turned off from Shayne early on when he mistook Natalie for Shaina. When Natalie got upset, Shayne did not handle it well at all. I didn’t like any of the exchange, but what really got me was when he said “I’m done” and just stormed off. At the time, I thought he was ending the relationship. It seemed like he was angry at Natalie for being upset at his mistake. He really had no emotional regulation and this played out repeatedly. I’m with ElleP-- I can’t say what’s wrong, but goodness does he have issues. And I can’t rule out his being abusive or veering in that direction.
I didn’t love how Natalie used humor to dodge serious conversations about feelings. But I found it very forgivable. Many people have relationships where friendly ribbing is a key part of having fun together and bonding. It seemed like she was used to that sort of environment. It also seemed to me that after learning this was an issue for Shayne, that she tried to adjust her behavior to improve in this area and to genuinely convey her emotions.
We didn’t see the break-up triggering fight between Natalie and Shayne. Given my memory of what we were shown, I know that Shayne had something to apologize for, “I hate you and wish I had never met you.” But I don’t have any knowledge that makes me feel certain that Natalie did anything wrong. I cannot fault her for not moving forward with the wedding given what he said. I cannot recall the alter scene exactly, but I am left with the impression that Natalie was very remorseful when saying no at the alter. I’m just not certain that she owed Shayne any apologies that hadn’t already been offered. Happy to be corrected here.
And Shake! It seems like there is not much left to say. I feel like he is the villain we all need right now. Putin and his invasion can just go away, his villainy is extraneous.
He looked SO angry. But said almost nothing. He seems so sweet and understanding most of the time… If he is that angry, I imagine there weren’t great things going on in their conversations outside of what was filmed. I really hated their relationship, and Mallory did not seem into him at all.
This really blew my mind too. Especially because he was raised religious, if I recall correctly. How many times do you have to hear “do not be unequally yolked”…even if you don’t believe in that anymore, it’s still a big thing even for less devout christians. Of course Shaina probably should never have said yes, but there’s so much pressure to have a good story I’m sure…plus Kyle should know that the risk of this show is that you get engaged and it doesn’t work out…2 out of like…15 couples actually ends up married
I’d forgotten until now that Kyle said he should have proposed to Deepti!!! I don’t think they would be a good match but at least they can date normally if they want to now.
See, I had the “grand romantic gestures” Ex. Composed and recorded an entire album of songs for me, arranged a private viewing of a rehearsal of my favorite band, wrote me a book of poems, sweeping amazing stuff like that. And every single inch of it was an apology for not being able to show up as a good partner in any other respect. So I tend to find myself very skeptical of people who “play the romantic” well. And that’s how I read Sal.
That is very wise! I couldn’t take him seriously, to be honest, the big romantic gestures are only meaningful to me if my partner is truly attuned to what I personally like versus generic blabla. But i think it was less the romance being a red flag and more like he just seems to be very immature when it comes to relationships, still? Like nothing in his questions in the pod or his interactions after suggested to me depth in his actual liking of Mallory.
But he’s very empathetic and good at reading people!
Still can’t believe none of these Americans talked about lifestyle expectations, budgets and spending values earlier on
I’m sure stitch fix is more tasteful than this, but my brain immediately played Shake’s voice being like “worried you look like an AUNTIE? Stitch fix can help!” While Deepti flips the bird to the camera in the background.
