Wowza I was not a fan of this week’s episode. It made me sad honestly
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Sad for the guy?
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I saw this comment on Ramit’s Instagram, which makes a lot of assumptions but I kinda agree with this person
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This is exactly how I perceived it.
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I think that comment hit the nail right on the head.
I really struggle when people in a partnership tend to blame their partner for their problems instead of owning their issues.
This started as her blaming him for his debt but quickly became sinister in how their relationship dynamics play out.
All I wish for everyone is good and clear communication about life and finances and it’s really sad to me when it shows how bad communication can ruin a relationship.
It seemed like she doesn’t respect him, his family, or his thoughts. But we don’t have the whole story, that’s just how I took it.
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I just listened to the one titled “He Hid $77K in CC Debt from Me”
Caveat that it took me like 5 days to listen to it, and they were not all in a row, so I might have missed something, but wow does it seem like this guy was paying for their whole life! No wonder he’s in debt! And the solution is…he sells all of his stuff and some land? And she doesn’t do anything? I get that the financial infidelity is making her wary about contributing to clearing out the debt but sheesh!!! Where are they going together? What do they even want to do together?
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Today’s episode was really stressful for me. I hate the dynamics in relationships when all of the work gets put on the woman and the guy just gets everything he wants. Maybe this is bigger than finances, but it is a hot button for me. I hate seeing how it plays out IRL. I really hope they get help with couples counseling and they can solve their debt!
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I’m behind because a lot of these episodes have similar themes…
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Does anyone else find the new intro annoying? For some reason it reminds me of like, daytime tv. Like the Maury show 
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He’s got a book coming out!! I will definitely be peeking at my library’s copy.
Oh boy - I have THOUGHTS about this weeks episode 
First - I have the same background as Michelle. Like, very similar early adulthood where I only had myself to rely upon, put myself through college by pinching every penny, occasionally being $10-$20 short for something important and freaking out and panicking and finding the money just in time. Then when I started making real money I saved as much as possible because I knew I needed to save for the future because I had no safety net and no one who could help me. I didn’t enjoy myself and have fun, I just worked hard constantly, paid my bills, and saved money. No socializing, no partying, etc.
I was an ant and then I married a grasshopper who partied his way through his 20s and early 30s and came into our marriage with debt and no savings.
However, that’s where the similarities stop, because she has so much resentment around the fact that her husband partied his way through, never saved, and has ended up in the same place with the same lifestyle she has. I don’t have that resentment. I knew what the situation was when we married, and after we got married he has changed and become more of an ant. When we got married we started a new life together and from that point forward we’ve been a team. I kind of ignore what happened before that.
I also think this episode points out some flaws in Ramit’s theories around budgeting/his conscious spending plan. He always rails against people who categorize their spending and says you only need a few categories and more than a few is too many and doesn’t add value. I completely disagree with him and this episode shows that. They are spending $2000 per month at target and Amazon and have no idea what they spent there. They put all of that into “fixed costs” but honestly most of it should be guilt free spending when they pulled up the Amazon account and went through it. They need to categorize these things to find out what is causing them to overspend. It seriously takes less than 5 minutes after a purchase to break out that purchase into categories.
Another frustration I have with ramit is his insistence that the little things don’t matter. But this is a perfect example of how the little things DO matter. Death by 1000 paper cuts is real!
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I had very similar thoughts when listening!
I think focusing on small things when the big stuff is ignored can often be a mistake because when the big stuff is on fire, $20 won’t make a big difference. But $20 over and over again will!
This couple is certainly a challenge for him considering how much they go against his normal advice so I am curious on part 2!
Maybe an argument is that the little stuff is actually a result of a bigger dynamic? Their money philosophy is certainly in need of a change. Digging into why they “need” so many of the smaller things could be interesting.
I hope we get to hear a more balanced dialogue next time. The woman dominated the conversation and I think they need some real help with their relationship dynamics. You don’t get to play the victim and hold on to so much resentment!!!
Also I was surprised at how high their NW was compared to how they talked about their finances.
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I’m behind so I just listened to the August 6th episode and that one was incredible, but I think it was also the right time for that couple to be on the show. They were both All In, emotionally, to figuring out what parts of their dynamic were causing the repeat debt situations. Didn’t hurt that the woman is a therapist. Some very cool and vulnerable conversations happened between them and didn’t even really require Ramit to do much lol
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I’m finally listening to this one and WOOF
They just did not want to change their lives. Michelle basically said as much. It was honestly obnoxious listening to them.
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Oh also! He’s changing the podcast name to match his new book (this guy gets marketing lol)
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AND he covered their CSP early in the episode. WHOA
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Today’s was better, I think, at least as far as being open to change.
But I noticed at the end that he’s relying on his stock options to sweep in and solve their problems. Pattern repeats.
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Yeah I really struggled with today’s because seriously they make almost $300k and if they can’t live within their means on $300k then they can’t live within their means on ANY income. Especially because both of these episodes have a stay at home parent and don’t pay for any childcare costs! They said toward the beginning that they are ok having old cars and a not so nice house that way they can spend more on other things, but then later said that they want to continue having the life they live and love right now. I think they are delusional.
Seriously, I’m getting tired of these episodes one right after another of people with absolutely outrageous privilege and outrageous spending. I don’t know how I would possible blow through that much money every month. I could buy every single tiny thing that hits my fancy and not spend that much money. It’s ludicrous.
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Do these people have a boat and a plane and a vacation property? I feel like you need at least 2/3 to do that. Maybe 1000/week grooming?
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I’m only 20 mins into this one and my dudes it’s rough.
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