Ahem, beware, I might be sometimes judgy or navel gazey as I talk about these! But that’s part of the fun right?
I do this thing where I like to start with new podcasts with the most recent episodes, because I feel like most podcast hosts improve dramatically as they get more practice. So here’s my ep 22 reaction.
OK so first of all this part had me laughing / crying.
How clear was that? Not clear at all.
Ramit Sethi: [00:08:29] Alex, how clear do you think Brandon was in his answer to your question?
Alexandra: [00:08:33] Pretty clear.
Ramit Sethi: [00:08:34] Really? What was his answer in one sentence?
Alexandra: [00:08:37] Oh, it was, yes, let’s spend, but also have a discussion beforehand to make sure.
Ramit Sethi: [00:08:46] Really? So, can you go out and go get those supplements right now?
Alexandra: [00:08:49] No, we need to have a discussion first.
Ramit Sethi: [00:08:51] Well, how many discussions are we going to have? We’re trying to have 10 levels of discussions here. So, again, I want to ask you the question, how clear was his answer to you?
Alexandra: [00:09:00] Okay. Maybe not as clear as I had hoped.
Ramit Sethi: [00:09:03] No, it wasn’t clear at all.
I have definitely watched that exact kind of back and forth play out in real life before and it is such a hard spiral to break people out of. Oof.
In general I felt like this was an example of him actually helping the interviewees, which was nice! Like they both needed a lot of help and cajoling in order to have opinions and then say them out loud. I really hope they both manage to do that a little more often. Eesh.
I was glad that there were a couple of epiphany moments like
Alexandra: [00:24:44] Yeah, oh, my gosh, there it is, I’ve never thought of it in that way before, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy and tell me no, and he’s operating with that story in the back of his mind. And that’s why he dances around or we don’t quite answer it.
I felt really sad when Alex asks for a personal budget for herself and he just balks.
Alexandra: [00:35:52] I have a question. Do I get any budget for things I need or do I need to wait until I’m earning my own money to be able to have my own budget for things I want to spend on myself?
Brandon: [00:36:07] That’s a question. That’s my answer there, right?
Ramit Sethi: [00:36:12] It’s not mine unless you want me to allocate your money for you. I’ll be happy to do it. You might not like what I allocate it to, though.
Brandon: [00:36:18] Ramit, I have to be the good guy, so you’re going to have to take this one.
That whole exchange would have been so demoralizing for me. Like of course your partner needs a personal budget??? Argue about the size of it, sure, but if you’re willing to spend $500/mo on yourself then it seems obvious to me that you would also want your partner to have some kind of personal budget too?
Anyway it all seemed like a great case of two people pleasers circling each other and I hope they both manage to break the habit a little bit.