I Will Teach You to Be Rich: Podcast Gossip and Discussion

Pop Culture + Media
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Podcast with transcripts

Spinning a thread off from the money saving mindset thread!

Every episode is basically a couples money therapy interview. The host sits down and talks with the couple about their spending and whether or not they’re spending in line with what they actually want to do. Some of the examples are really eye popping.

Episode List

Episode 25. “I want to pay for convenience, but my husband thinks it’s lazy” - OMD Discussion here

Episode 24. “I’ve saved $0 for my upcoming unpaid maternity leave”

Episode 23. “I live in constant fear that our $425k income isn’t enough”

Episode 22. “I’m quitting my job, but I’m worried my husband doesn’t support me”

Episode 21. Part 2: “I want to trust my wife with our money, but what if she blows everything?”

Episode 20. “My wife is going to divorce me unless I can stop being so cheap”

Episode 19. “My husband has been promising that we’ll buy a house in a few months… for five years”

Episode 18. “He’s the man & he should pay. We can’t go on like this any more”

Episode 17. “I think he should pay for everything because he’s the man”

Episode 16. “We’re worth $8 million but I comparison shop for strawberries”

Episode 15. “I have a $1 million trust fund and I’m scared to spend money on food”

Episode 14. “I hide my spending from my husband”

Episode 13. “I’m dumb with money and he’s making me feel worse”

Episode 12. “My husband won’t talk about money with me”

Episode 11. “My wife wants to quit her job, but I’m worried about money”

Episode 10. “Money is overwhelming, so we find instant gratification elsewhere”

Episode 9: “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”

Episode 8: “My wife is spending too much money”

Episode 7: “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”

Episode 6: “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”

Episode 5: “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”

Episode 4: “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”

Episode 3: “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”

Episode 2: “We’re worth over $1 million, but we’re so cheap, our friends don’t want to see us anymore”

Episode 1: “My husband doesn’t trust me to run our business”

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@noodle @AllHat @Elle @meerkat @ginja_ninja @TrisPrior I think?

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Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

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I mean I’m a regular chill person

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Ahem, beware, I might be sometimes judgy or navel gazey as I talk about these! :laughing: But that’s part of the fun right?

I do this thing where I like to start with new podcasts with the most recent episodes, because I feel like most podcast hosts improve dramatically as they get more practice. So here’s my ep 22 reaction.

OK so first of all this part had me laughing / crying.

How clear was that? Not clear at all.

Ramit Sethi: [00:08:29] Alex, how clear do you think Brandon was in his answer to your question?

Alexandra: [00:08:33] Pretty clear.

Ramit Sethi: [00:08:34] Really? What was his answer in one sentence?

Alexandra: [00:08:37] Oh, it was, yes, let’s spend, but also have a discussion beforehand to make sure.

Ramit Sethi: [00:08:46] Really? So, can you go out and go get those supplements right now?

Alexandra: [00:08:49] No, we need to have a discussion first.

Ramit Sethi: [00:08:51] Well, how many discussions are we going to have? We’re trying to have 10 levels of discussions here. So, again, I want to ask you the question, how clear was his answer to you?

Alexandra: [00:09:00] Okay. Maybe not as clear as I had hoped.

Ramit Sethi: [00:09:03] No, it wasn’t clear at all.

I have definitely watched that exact kind of back and forth play out in real life before and it is such a hard spiral to break people out of. Oof.

In general I felt like this was an example of him actually helping the interviewees, which was nice! Like they both needed a lot of help and cajoling in order to have opinions and then say them out loud. I really hope they both manage to do that a little more often. Eesh.

I was glad that there were a couple of epiphany moments like

Alexandra: [00:24:44] Yeah, oh, my gosh, there it is, I’ve never thought of it in that way before, he doesn’t want to be the bad guy and tell me no, and he’s operating with that story in the back of his mind. And that’s why he dances around or we don’t quite answer it.

I felt really sad when Alex asks for a personal budget for herself and he just balks.

Summary

Alexandra: [00:35:52] I have a question. Do I get any budget for things I need or do I need to wait until I’m earning my own money to be able to have my own budget for things I want to spend on myself?

Brandon: [00:36:07] That’s a question. That’s my answer there, right?

Ramit Sethi: [00:36:12] It’s not mine unless you want me to allocate your money for you. I’ll be happy to do it. You might not like what I allocate it to, though.

Brandon: [00:36:18] Ramit, I have to be the good guy, so you’re going to have to take this one.

That whole exchange would have been so demoralizing for me. Like of course your partner needs a personal budget??? Argue about the size of it, sure, but if you’re willing to spend $500/mo on yourself then it seems obvious to me that you would also want your partner to have some kind of personal budget too?

Anyway it all seemed like a great case of two people pleasers circling each other and I hope they both manage to break the habit a little bit.

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Hi hello I am a very irregular person so that works out great :laughing:

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okay also I love Ramit for his asides like this from ep 20

Man, what is it about rich people and blueberries? You know how many rich people I’ve talked to, who will not pay more for blueberries? This is crazy. Alright. We’re going to have to get into that another time, but there’s something cosmic going on here. Okay.

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I just spend money on my blueberries and feel like a fancy bitch (no actually I feel like a stressed parent of small children who munch many many berries)

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Episode 2
You two want to ask each other anything or share how you’re feeling?

Greg: [00:01:51] No.

…
But I don’t understand when you’re at a restaurant, and it’s one thing if you want the steak, but you say, I’m going to get the chicken, because it’s cheaper, to yourself. But you say it out loud, what does it get for you?

…
And they go, it’s actually not that big of a deal. And then, they proceed to tell me some minor little thing. And I say, what do you think happens after 20 years of that?

Ramit Sethi: [00:26:48] And it strikes them, oh, my God, this is exactly what people mean when they say we got divorced because of money. It’s not some big financial infidelity thing in most cases. It’s something that started in their 30s. Just a little habit, a little phrase that one or two of them used, a different way of looking at the world with money, a different way of ordering your meal, and it compounds.

…
These two are very much divorcing. And I’m like Canada…Greg, Ashley…do I know a Greg and Ashley?

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I know one couple divorcing because of money infidelity but it was also just the icing on top of the cheap ass, “I can have play money but not you” cake.

Another was definitely different money goals and nickle & diming shit that didn’t need to be, that was just adding stress that didn’t need to exist.

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Their story is deep. And I feel like they only addressed one tiny thing. Hoping they can figure more out. Like talking

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This is why our generation will never retire. Avocado toast houses and blueberry retirement

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Omg I’m halfway through the first episode and the husband is SUPPOSED to be reacting to the wife’s realization that her alcoholic father influenced her whole approach to what she deserves to ask for but he keeps asking “how can I make you support my dream better” even when it’s explicitly pointed out to him.

This podcast reminds me of Where Should We Begin. There’s a couple there who talk past each other so badly it’s astounding. Nothing about their brain actually takes in and processes the words that the other people say.

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I’m so in for this. To the internet!

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I just listened to this episode today! I too was impressed with how Ramit coached them to be more direct, but did it so gently to where they wouldn’t be scared off. That was so great!

Random snark I could just tell the husband was dying to ask “ok but why do your supplements cost so much what are they even??” but it never happened!! I just would be totally unable to be so restrained lol

I am interested if the couples end up making the improvements long term. I’ve listened to just two episodes but the two couples I heard still sound quite uneasy at the end

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One couple agonizes over the cost of groceries — even though they have a net worth of $8 million

That was me a few years ago! Not the $8mill part, but the high income/ high savings rate/ literally no need to obsess over our grocery costs. Fortunately we switched from annual spending reviews that were “how do we spend less!” To “how do we spend within our values and with habits we want to keep?” a little while ago.

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I have only listened to the first episode so far but I have a feeling I’m going to catch up by the end of the year! Honestly already impressed. R did a good job stating that he made a mistake and leaving it in the episode. Really brought humility to the forefront.

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OMG Ep 22. So I am going to have to actually listen to some of these to check tone of voice and stuff but I’m definitely sharing with a few people I know, mixed with a couple of other episode recommendations so it’s not so obvious. The spirals! The talking around it!

I’ve been part of these kinds of conversations too. It took ages for Ponder to be direct with me about the stuff he felt strongly about.

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I need another podcast in my queue like I need another COVID variant… download download download

Looking forward to catching up!

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I know. I had just gotten my backlog down to where it was before I added the last podcast.

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