I read sincerity although I think they’re going to have a hard time sticking to it. The twist where he had already told her it was fine to hire someone and she didn’t do it indicated to me that she had a lot of room to move too, and she can do that without him changing his behavior. Also in audio SHE had a hugely different reaction to him asking the right questions instead of the selfish questions and it seemed like that made an impression on him.
I do think he fundamentally isn’t interested in the baklava company and just wants to keep messing with crypto, which is a different huge red flag that wasn’t ever addressed… but it means she can do whatever she wants with the company and he agreed to go with it.
Yeah. The group sound spendy and Alyssa doesn’t want to do Alll the soebdy things. But I think she wants to go to dinner and order without comment often enough to still have friends. Which is SUPER understandable. And his returning all the gifts and her giving up. He’s just rude.
In transcript form sometimes they don’t put the speaker’s name in the right place so it gets super confusing about who’s talking.
But I think I would find Ramit’s interjections more off-putting if I were listening to them.
I’ve not read thru all of these. Curious if there’s anyone interviewed who doesn’t have a 6-figure income? So far the ones I’ve read (selected at random) have been high earners.
Yeah so far this seems a little more to me to be like, “you have all the money, now what”. Rather than like, “there are some tough choices to be made”.
Yes!
Like, I would really relate to “for you a rich life includes lots of travel but also owning property that you can garden on, and also you want ALLLL the ice cream toppings. And fresh berries. But your income can’t stretch for all of that, so, what do?”
Episode 10 is more “average” – SAHM and the guy earns something like 70-80k (Canadian). And they have 40k in credit card debt. But Ramit goes totally fat shamey in that one…
Yeah I agree. I think that’s where his interest is; probably his own comfort level too. It is pretty interesting to hear people like he has on the show talk about this stuff. But I see why he doesn’t want to deal with less rarefied situations. I think a lot of his ethos around money starts to fall apart when scarcity enters the picture. And that’s fine, honestly, it’s like how some fitness trainers only work with athletes but some work with people at all levels. He’s only interested in the highest earners.
The thing I find most interesting are his ideals around how much you should spend based on your income. Because his focus isn’t only on getting people to stop pretending to be poor by price comparing tiny things or constantly stressing when they are literally wealthy people. It’s not really about building gratitude or recognizing that you are rich, whether you feel rich or not since like, duh, people in power usually deny that they are. His focus is much more about naming future luxuries the callers will spend on eventually without guilt. Like that’s definitely what seems to make him as the host the most excited, if they talk about spending on big luxury things and not feeling guilty.
I also think it’s interesting the things he kind of caveats a lot and the things he doesn’t. Like he was super understanding about the guy who had a lot of pressure to provide for his parents, and he went overboard talking about how culture is a thing that is real and exists and we shouldn’t all mock it or be judgmental because cultures produces real feelings and behaviors. But then the woman who expected the man to pay for things? Not so much. He was way less understanding about that IMO even though the guy made like 4 times what she made and didn’t want to buy her a bowl of soup because he wasn’t eating. Like, dude that IS a red flag. She’s right, lmao.
I think this is why I can’t listen to or read his content I just can’t relate. it’s not the same feeling I get from reading journals and conversations from wealthier folks on OMD. maybe the format/personalities are the problem for me?
Im through quite a few episodes now, and realized I’ve been having a hard time listening to him doing a therapy-style format with no formal therapist training, at least none that I’m aware of…
Maybe because the journals aren’t just about money? So you get to read a lot of other stuff in between the money updates, like about food and pets and books, etc. I get a similar feeling from both rich journals and this podcast but I do really appreciate how he forces people to be more transparent. Like I think listening to these has helped me understand a lot of the things I’ve read from rich people online but didn’t want to ask. It feels confrontational I guess, to be like, dude you’re super fucking rich staaaahp plz it’s agoniiiizzzziiiiingggg why are you pretending you are broooooke. Haha. But seeing how different backgrounds plus enormous amounts of money handle each other helps add some clarity. I wouldn’t say it garners a lot of like, intense empathy in me, but I still enjoy listening because my nosiness knows no bounds.
One big positive thing I’ve taken from the podcast is his trick of asking people what they get out of their behavior. I think that’s a good piece of wisdom. Like, what are you getting out of stressing about the cost of a pair of shoes? What are you getting out of pointing out a deal you got? What are you getting out of pretending you’re living on the edge? I think the idea that destructive behaviors still give some kind of positive feedback is so overlooked a lot of the time and very true in my own life.
Another thing I wish he talked about was comparison. I’ve spent a lot of time around very wealthy people and IME they are obsessed with what people who have more have. I think so much of this fussing about costs is related to feeling like other people have even more. I also think a lot of very wealthy people use stress over money to absolve guilt about how absolutely insanely rich they are. It’s like, if you feel poor and like you’re stretched thin then you’re just part of the dying middle class, trying to make ends meet! You’re not the 1%! You’re only top 10%, lol eat the rich totes but not me bc I’m just average! (I have no evidence for this other than personal encounters with very rich people who actively pretend to be poor, like by having low wage hourly type jobs and acting like that’s their real situation when they have a trust fund or huge amounts of spousal/family money to fall back on, or are actively subsidized).
Also I want the phrase, “I won’t be complete until I get a beach house” on my head stone. It’s fabulous.
Some of the enjoyment for me is definitely the same as watching House Hunters International - voyeuristic in a low stakes fun way. Agreed that it would be better with a real therapist involved. There’s other podcasts that I listen to long term because each episode is novel enough to keep my interest, this one is more diminishing returns as I listen to more episodes.
I do think he was defensive on the culture thing but I think s lot of people would need it to be repeated that much, plus it was probably a reaction to 30+ years of being in the US and 30+ years of people reacting with “That’s weird”
This latest episode is really good. I love what the beach house woman says about the Carmel beach house, bolding is mine because it’s super extraordinary.
“there are some houses there we could actually afford, well could have afforded”
“I don’t even care if it’s a shack this is not about status.”
“I don’t want the 10 million dollar house on the beach, I just want the shack in Carmel.”
This is SO classic rich person. I love how she states her desires as just, modest little things that they can barely get. Just a shack! We can actually afford, which totally implies they’re the poor side of rich. Like I WISH he delved into the status thing a lot more because the idea that a second home on top of a million + dollar house is absolutely not a status item is so funny! And the idea that it’s just about family, and not status, is hilarious. They could rent a beach house in the same area every single summer and have family over, but…rich people in vacation spots know exactly who rents and who owns. That’s the truth she won’t say IMO.
She also says things like “this might be the best I can do” about her career. And she’s talking about how she might need to increase a side hustle. Like, NEED.
I was really struck by how she was ok with paying for new windows at a beach house and hella expensive skincare treatments but not new windows at the actual house they bought. That’s a real head-scratcher to me.
And how did they never just go ahead and rent a beach house already? Of COURSE her desire is for happy memories and not a physical house. This seems like really basic shit to me but maybe it’s not.
Was this the couple that agreed to save $1000 a month? On $425,000 salary? And still feeling poor? It is really classic rich person shit. Hedonic adaptation to the point that she sounds like half her brain fell out.
This woman was one person I felt could really benefit from therapy … she has a cognitive understanding of where her behavior and beliefs came from, but that is very different from being able to change behavior and beliefs. A trained therapist could really help her with this.
But your income can’t stretch for all of that, so, what do?”
I just can’t relate. it’s not the same feeling I get from reading journals and conversations from wealthier folks on OMD. maybe the format/personalities are the problem for me?