I love our weird little corner of the internet, haha.
YES. This. I love Gail’s no nonsense, “money isn’t rocket science, it’s discipline.” I feel like Ramit makes people more emotional about money than they need to be at times. Like, yes money has an emotional component and even people who are all “rah rah I’m super logic driven” are usually operating largely on desire and emotion, BUT, there is something to be said for just doing before every little emotion you have is perfectly aligned.
I get the sense that a lot of people who talk to Ramit, this couple definitely included, have the belief that for a decision to be right it must feel right. If it feels hard, constraining, difficult, challenging, scary, it must be wrong. I think that’s why the lady on this episode kept saying things like, “we need to sit in those feelings and visualize what that would feel like.” Like, girlfriend, you need to DO at some point. You are never going to want to spend less money and exercise self control. I thought it was so telling that she said their issue was communication, but really I think her and husband are on the exact same page, they’re both overspenders.
I’m more of a Gail Girl (t-shirts coming soon) myself. Like I think working through your trauma is important to do in therapy but I think it’s also ok to say to yourself, “I do not know best in this area. My instincts in this area have repeatedly been incorrect and gotten me in serious trouble. I’m going to do what this expert says even if it sounds and feels awful because I believe I need to change and I know I don’t have the answers.”
Meanwhile these two reacted to the concept of trade-offs (
) the way I might react to a terminal diagnosis. They weren’t excited at all that there is a way out their financial mess. They were pissed! It was painful listening to Ramit fumble around the whole thing. I think he was really frustrated and also confused, lol. Like you I was hoping he’d be like, “YES THE SCHOOL IS RIDICULOUS” instead of hemming and hawing around the mulberry bush.
I agree on that, for sure. I think the husband was just as bad as the wife, though, because when Ramit asked about the cars the guy was like, “well in our neighborhood we need cars, so I can’t even think of another option than what we have.” Like, really? You can’t think of a single option for a less expensive car? I think they both overspend a lot and justify it for each other. I agree about the crying too.
Yeah that confused me also. It kind of seemed like she said she had a business AND was a contractor? So I’m wondering if those are two different things. Maybe the business is not money making but the contracting is and the hypothetical $20k is another contact? IDK.
