On topic: I did really like the most recent episode (25) and discussing old scripts that we tell ourselves, finding inconsistencies in our beliefs, and the discussion of how traditional gender roles may have shaped that.
I like how Ramit seems to be focusing on better and better things as he is developing. In this one he really dove into getting to the root of their beliefs instead of shaming. It was a bit weird because I thought more of the discussion with the couple was cut out than normal but I enjoyed it.
I really liked this exchange:
Summary
Jack: [00:22:35] So, I want to make a billion dollars, right? And yeah, which is like, tat’s the reaction I always get. So, that’s a reaction I always get when I’m like, by 50, I want to be a billionaire, there’s always a reaction, and, well, for better or for worse, my track record of starting businesses have not been great, so always seems like a pipe dream. And I’m a dreamer, I like to shoot for the moon, right? I like to just be far out there. And when I get those responses from her, I feel like it grounds me, and I could be wrong, and that could be holding me back.
Ramit Sethi: [00:23:18] Have you ever asked her why she reacts like that?
Jack: [00:23:22] No.
Ramit Sethi: [00:23:23] Ask her.
Jack: [00:23:25] Why do you react like that, honey?
Gemma: [00:23:28] There are two things that come to my mind, and I am very grounded, so I’m immediately like, so what’s the project plan for that? That’s one aspect of where I’m like, let’s work on the plan then. And then, the other part of me is just like, do we need that? Like it almost feels like we can’t be happy until we have that. Like happiness is out there in this dream, and it’s just like, but my fear is like you’re never going to let yourself to be happy if you don’t reach that dream? And I think life can pass us by if we do that and it scares me.
Ramit Sethi: [00:24:21] Kind of interesting what you learn when you ask your partner about their beliefs, isn’t it?
I am all for big goals (I signed up to run an ultra marathon when I couldn’t even run a 5k) but I had a plan for how I was going to get there and the big goal was out of my reach but not like SUPER far out of my reach. I can see how having big goals that are not grounded in any sort of reality can create conflicts in relationships.
On goals in general: this year I have stopped making goals. I really like what she said about not feeling like you can be happy until you hit these goals. That is not true, and this year my focus was to try and be more happy before reaching any sort of goal. While I like how goals have helped me in the past I want to experiment and see if focusing more on the daily or weekly aspects of my life without needing to always achieve more will get me closer to living my rich life.
eta: #DoLessClub