I don’t think it needs its own subforum, but do we have something like a “Media reviews and discussion” section? I don’t pay much attention to the categories posts go under, TBH. But we could put all relevant stuff under that heading and then it might be easier for people to find discussions about particular genres, etc that they are interested in.
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I have a trademarked salad term “big a** salads” that I use my mixing bowl and make a giant dinner salad. It is not as fancy as the prechopped ones and I realize it is more work but I LOVE THEM. I use whatever veggies/protein we have in the fridge with no regard to what is “proper” for a salad and use a variety of dressings (my favorites are this buffalo sauce, fancy balsamic vinegars and olive oils, (not)vegan Caesar dressing (it has eggs, my bad), tahini/soy sauce dressing)
Sometimes my salads look like this:
Leftover kale, mixed greens/romaine, chopped raw mushrooms, raw brussels, oven roasted carrots from 2 nights ago, garbanzo beans, rotisserie chicken, crispy onions, cherry tomatoes and buffalo sauce.
I fully support @AllHat in getting the prechopped salads, I love that mindset switch and that it is adding value to your life without guilt. Get the fancy salad. ENJOY THE CRAP OUT OF THAT FANCY SALAD. 
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Do you have a favorite vegan Caesar dressing? I like Ceasar dressing and am fine with dairy but don’t eat anchovies.
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Opps, I guess my favorite one isn’t vegan because it has eggs, but it is this one from primal kitchen. It does not have anchovies!!
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I am cool with eggs too, just not fish. Thanks!
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On topic: I did really like the most recent episode (25) and discussing old scripts that we tell ourselves, finding inconsistencies in our beliefs, and the discussion of how traditional gender roles may have shaped that.
I like how Ramit seems to be focusing on better and better things as he is developing. In this one he really dove into getting to the root of their beliefs instead of shaming. It was a bit weird because I thought more of the discussion with the couple was cut out than normal but I enjoyed it.
I really liked this exchange:
Summary
Jack: [00:22:35] So, I want to make a billion dollars, right? And yeah, which is like, tat’s the reaction I always get. So, that’s a reaction I always get when I’m like, by 50, I want to be a billionaire, there’s always a reaction, and, well, for better or for worse, my track record of starting businesses have not been great, so always seems like a pipe dream. And I’m a dreamer, I like to shoot for the moon, right? I like to just be far out there. And when I get those responses from her, I feel like it grounds me, and I could be wrong, and that could be holding me back.
Ramit Sethi: [00:23:18] Have you ever asked her why she reacts like that?
Jack: [00:23:22] No.
Ramit Sethi: [00:23:23] Ask her.
Jack: [00:23:25] Why do you react like that, honey?
Gemma: [00:23:28] There are two things that come to my mind, and I am very grounded, so I’m immediately like, so what’s the project plan for that? That’s one aspect of where I’m like, let’s work on the plan then. And then, the other part of me is just like, do we need that? Like it almost feels like we can’t be happy until we have that. Like happiness is out there in this dream, and it’s just like, but my fear is like you’re never going to let yourself to be happy if you don’t reach that dream? And I think life can pass us by if we do that and it scares me.
Ramit Sethi: [00:24:21] Kind of interesting what you learn when you ask your partner about their beliefs, isn’t it?
I am all for big goals (I signed up to run an ultra marathon when I couldn’t even run a 5k) but I had a plan for how I was going to get there and the big goal was out of my reach but not like SUPER far out of my reach. I can see how having big goals that are not grounded in any sort of reality can create conflicts in relationships.
On goals in general: this year I have stopped making goals. I really like what she said about not feeling like you can be happy until you hit these goals. That is not true, and this year my focus was to try and be more happy before reaching any sort of goal. While I like how goals have helped me in the past I want to experiment and see if focusing more on the daily or weekly aspects of my life without needing to always achieve more will get me closer to living my rich life.
eta: #DoLessClub
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I’m still working on making this work the way I want to, but I’ve made a @pop culture sub forum and moved this thread there. I also made the first post a wiki
by default new topics in this category are “wikis” - you can use header links to link to new episodes/seasons within a thread, the first post is a wiki thread can be edited by all users with a trust level over 1 (most users that are relatively active) What is a Wiki Post? - faq - Discourse Meta
My thought it to make this an index for in-thread discussions.
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@AllHat I love that you’re so happy with your bagged salads!
I signed up for personal training with my favorite CrossFit coach every couple of weeks. It’s $50/session so an extra $100 a month. Totally worth it to make better progress.
And I’m trying out some weird alternative therapies for my cats and myself. I probably would have done that one anyway but I’m really feeling like I’m rich and that it’s not a big deal, instead of analyzing the opportunity cost and coming up with a list of what else I could buy with that money!
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I liked this one a lot too! Taking your rich life a week or month at a time feels both kind of overwhelming but also much more helpful than “what do you wanna do with your entire life?”
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Just so you all know: I’m eating one of those salads right now.
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Inspired by this thread, I added one to the shopping list today.
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I also really liked this episode. “one week at a time” - and then their goals weren’t at all anything that would require a billion dollars, just like, game night with friends, dinner out, that sort of thing.
It also really made me ponder what creates that feeling of being able to “spend generously” or abundantly for the lower-earning partner. I liked the way their dynamic shifted when they started with the vision instead of the budget numbers.
It was a relief to have a less dysfunctional couple this time!
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I just listened to the latest episode and I liked it! I agree he is improving his interviewing skills and I think the couple was just…more likable than some of the others, haha. I thought it was interesting that the husband’s explanation for not paying someone to clean was because he hates the idea of someone being compelled to do something they don’t want to do. But he was ok with his wife (and himself) forcing themselves to do things they didn’t want, or even have to do.
I’ve never had a house cleaner and it did get me thinking about what income level I’d consider paying for it. I’m curious what other people’s numbers/ideas on this are because I don’t really know! I mean at $200k (what the couple made) definitely, but I don’t feel that way at $100k, maybe I will at $150k? I don’t know!
I earn $0 a year so I think I qualify, haha. One thing that makes me feel good about spending generously is that I manage all of our finances (and always have). So I feel like our net worth is something I really made happen, and I contributed a lot in $ when I was working. It genuinely doesn’t feel to me like I’m spending “my husband’s” money when I buy things. I feel like it’s 100% mine as much as his, just like he’s entitled to all the food I make. I think maybe that’s part of the equation? Feeling ownership over the money? I don’t think I’d feel the same way if I weren’t the money manager. Like if I want to move money, we do. I feel like I have a lot of power over our finances.
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I started having a house cleaner when we went to $225k a year, but that was sort of a coincidence about when we felt ok with it from a COVID POV. We fought about it so much when we moved in together I would have shelled out then (at combined $75k). It’s definitely a very affordable luxury now though, where as before I would have had to cut a different budget or savings line to pay for it.
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I had it in my 2020 budget to hire a house cleaner because I was working three jobs (one full-time). My income was ~$63K that year between three jobs. So me it was less of an income thing but more of a time thing.
then covid happened so I never got to utilize this.
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I had a really clear and direct “value of your time” situation when I started using a house cleaner. I was working a full time librarian job, training for a full ironman (which takes up a lot of time), doing my portion of the regular cooking/cleaning/laundry stuff, and doing occasional evening babysitting. The family I babysat for asked if I could start coming for a couple hours in the morning twice a week. There was no way I could add anything more to my plate without completely burning myself out. BUT, I enjoyed babysitting a lot more than I enjoyed cleaning, so I said yes to the extra babysitting hours and the money I made from that was enough to cover having a cleaner come every other week. One of the best swaps I ever made!
My partner and I live together but keep separate finances. When we first started using the cleaner we split the cost 50/50, but after I started making more money I started paying for it all. Before we got the cleaner we didn’t fight about cleaning exactly, but there was definitely some resentment on both sides as we each thought the other person wasn’t pulling their weight. When we got the cleaner I was making around $40,000/yr and Howie was making around $150,000. Now I’m making around $75,000 and Howie is making around $200,000.
I don’t know that I’d continue having a cleaner if I lived alone. Maybe I’d go down to once a month or something. One of the greatest things I’ve noticed is that the WHOLE house is clean at once. When I clean on my own I’d spread it out - bathrooms one day, kitchen one day, vacuum one day, etc. When I come home after the cleaners have been there, everything is clean at the same time and it’s magical.
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My executive function is so poor I’d pay for a housecleaner occasionally at $50k living alone and no pets/kids to clean up after (student loans won’t let that happen, just a dream). I’m very pro housecleaning, if you “need” it you need it. I am definitely a privileged person but come from a low enough class background that I don’t even feel weird about the dynamics (multiple people in my family have cleaned houses/janitorial) you’re giving someone a paycheck so just pay fairly. Sorry if this is a weirdly self centered diversion just chiming in that at $100k there is a 100% chance I personally would hire a housecleaner, although I totally understand the not needing it thing. I don’t think it’s about being rich/wealthy whatever at all. Like, I’d think a single parent with a demanding job and a few kids definitely needs a housekeeper, and if I could imagine myself in a situation like that I personally (living in an area with transit) would forgo the costs of owning a car to pay for a clean house even though owning a moderately priced vehicle is not seen as rich, but hiring cleaners is seen as “rich”
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I think our income is around 140, but supporting a toddler and housing two more adults. We have talked about the cleaner off and on, and I think we will sign up for a few months this summer. I don’t think that things are at the point right now where it makes a big enough difference. I need a daily tidier or dishwashing assistant. And those are harder to hire. We are outsourcing lots of tasks like grocery delivery right now. And I want to do a few months of lawn mowing as well
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Yesssss I adore this! Whenever I try to clean my house myself I tidy and vacuum one room, then say I’ll vacuum the others and wash all the floors at once. But by the time I’ve tidied and vacuumed all the other rooms (aka the end of the week) the first one is dirty again and I just start the process over again.
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I started hiring out the cleaning when I wasn’t able to it myself, and the burden of all the cleaning and most of the cooking was too much for the kids. Now they clean their spaces and cook 2x a week each, and I do or pay for everything else. I think for me its figuring out the limits of what people can do sustainably, then filling the gaps with outside help.
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