Because mom is not presently in contact with my body. She is fixing something on her computer, and dad is holding me. Unacceptable.
6 Likes
Isn’t being the favorite parent just great? My sympathies.
2 Likes
I keep telling my daughter “Daddy’s supposed to be the primary parent! He loves you so much! Cry for him!”
But so far no luck.
7 Likes
Daddy put ice in her water bottle…
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Mommy called my snack cup a bowl.
But don’t worry, after my tantrum I found a bowl to show her, now she knows what a bowl is.
10 Likes
I realized Daughter going into high school means I only have four summers left with her before she heads off into the world. Probably. IF I’m lucky, because she’ll probably do responsible teenager things with some of those summers, like work, and she’ll probably do normal teenager things with some of those summers, like spend lots of time with her friends. I want my little kids back.
12 Likes
I wanted to throw my food remnants into the trashcan, but Mom thought I needed help and tapped on the plate to get the last bean off. That was not OK
7 Likes
Because this is not my bed and it’s not my room and there are weird noises and too much light.
First “vacation” with the baby…send coffee.
8 Likes
Because mom wanted to poop alone.
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She is crying Because the dog looked at her cheese.
6 Likes
To be fair, my 5 year old also cries for this reason sometimes. It’s not great.
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I didn’t eat and now I’m hungry
I can see food
Doggy
I want to pet the doggie
The doggy moved
The doggy looked at me
The doggy left the room because I was too worked up
Mama
Mama doogy
Ganda doggy
Doggy
Doggy isn’t interested in my toys
Mama went for a nap
6 Likes
The lid on the milk is blue.
(Also, I knew this would result in a huge melt down. He refused to drink “pink” milk, and we’ve been getting school lunch milk, so I’ve filled them up into the red lidded milk jug. Which my husband threw out for God knows why. So now I not only have nowhere to decant all the school milk, but my 2 year old is in complete meltdown mode over it.)
5 Likes
Been there, friend. How do spouses just do these obviously terrible things that inflict pain on their children??
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The wiggler needs that shirt too! Though he actually has a Waste Management branded shirt with a recycling truck on it 
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Because I’m cooking the Mac n cheese and Puglet is saying “no don’t do that!” He wants to eat it out if the box.
6 Likes
Toddlers have terrible taste.
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He gets it from his dad who does actually eat raw pasta. 
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Each to their own, I guess, but also, ew.
1 Like