Extremely my brand
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Just saw a quote ânothing in creation produces fruit in every seasonâ and, religious overtones aside, I really like that. Thought someone else might as well.
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Peering around the corner at this post
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If it makes anyone feel better, we have daffodils everywhere now.
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My blueberries are blooming. I expect fruit any minute now
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I hope our blueberries arenât blooming. Frost will kill them if so. Looks like we get snow this weekend.
You scared me, but checking our weather looks like the cold front will only bring us down to 39. Shouldnât hurt the baby blueberries too bad.
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boom! this is good shit!
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On the flip side, though, even if you would go to someone for advice, you still donât have to accept their criticism. I guess usually that would be on different things, like someone youâd take financial but not health advice from, etc.
Also, same sentiment applies to social media.
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Yes, I was mostly thinking of this in the context of social media.
The commitment of âin sickness and in healthâ exists most inviolably between us and ourselves. Your question isnât actually about time. Itâs about identity. It sounds like the gains youâve made inspire a mix of self pity and shame (which are usually twinned). Your depressed self may have been meaningfully different from you who are now, but it was still you. Not a version of you that doesnât count. You arenât in debt to a promise made in youth that you didnât make good on. You did what you could when you could. Your life before accommodated your illness and your life now prioritizes your wellness. Who you are isnât defined by either condition.
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Ooooh. I am going to have to read tomorrow because this sounds too heavy to read at bedtime, but I also âlostâ a lot of my 20âs to illness. And am now working as an illustrator, lol.
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This is so good I couldnât just heart the post without also declaring it to the forum. And then I wanted to quote really good paragraphs but I ended up wanting to quote like the whole page but that would be weird. !. Omg ! Great find
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Glad it resonatedâI had a hard time picking one quote!!
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Oooh â that is good!
Every so often I have a twinge of the âwhat ifsâ about the last 10-15 years of my life. What if I had managed to get into trauma-informed therapy when I had my major depressive episode in 2007, instead of just powering through on a wing and a prayer? What if I knew what I was going through was CPTSD at that point? Would I have stayed in the marriage, or been able to fix it? Same questions about the more recent years. Was I stupid/foolish in the choices I have made? Have I damaged my kids? How might things have been different had I made just a few different choices?
Ultimately, those questions donât matter and are futile. I made the choices I did, and they led me to the place where I am right now. Which, in spite of some lingering issues that I will eventually work out in therapy, is all and all a pretty good place. A big part of the clarity I have now about what I want my future to look like is because I spent SOOOO much time in that miserable limbo. Ready for that to end. I know what I want and I am going to fill the rest of my life with it. I have a great relationship with my kids, and have developed the ability to co-exist civilly and without too much resentment toward their dad. I think we probably will be able to do some of those family vacations he wants with minimal tension in the future â as long as we have separate accommodations 
I had a saying I came up with while clearing out our Beijing apartment as my tag line for a long time over on the other place: Life is too short for ill-fitting socks. Itâs good to get rid of or get yourself out of situations that no longer suit you, even if they seemed perfect at the time they came into your life. But it also doesnât make sense to beat up past you for making some wrong choices or hanging on to things longer than you should have.
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