Fuuuuuck, reentry was going to be hard enough without cleaning up a loud hairball at 5 a.m. and then not being able to get back to sleep.
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I spent 6 hours yesterday prepping food for the week and now I don’t want to eat anything I made. Very predictable.
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I set my alarm for 6:30 in the interest of having enough time to prep for the day. It is 3 hours later, I am still in bed.
I should have followed my coworker’s lead and taken today off too.
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Little dude starts distance ed today and so was up at 7:30. For a 9 am start time. Whyyyyy? And now maybe he doesn’t start until wednesday but it’s not clear. I don’t want to be awake but nobody cares what I want. This is what they mean when they say that life is suffering. Dramatic sigh
Also my hips and spine and shoulders and ribs are seized up tight and hurting intensely. It makes it hard to do things like breathe and move and not move. And the same leg as Daisy has injured is now injured on me. Sympathetic pains? I would rather not. I don’t feel that bad for her.
And a nosebleed.
And I smell terrible and my hair is doing that thing and we are out of groceries.
I have a lot of complaints, apparently.
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I’ve called 5 therapists/therapy providers today. Voicemail or just getting dumped out of the phone tree.
And we wonder why people who are deeply depressed and anxious just give up.
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aka -
“you don’t seem so bad”
“that is because when I’m actually in bad shape I can’t get the energy to find a person, this is me after a run of very good days”
“but you are functioning so well, see [external thing a], [external thing b]”
“you’re right, I guess I don’t deserve being helped or feeling better”
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I hope things slowly work
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Somehow, a cutting board didn’t get washed well enough. Baby’s breakfast orange and my breakfast kiwi taste like onion 
I was so excited to have a kiwi, too.
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They will. It may take me some time to get started on things sometimes, but when I dig in, I don’t let go. This time I’m forcing myself to find someone with real credentials rather than just “someone”
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The worst. I made a batch of blueberry muffins many years ago that somehow got garlic powder in them. I may never know how it got there, but it wasn’t what i had in mind.
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I rescind several of my complaints. Being alone in the car singing loudly does wonders for the mood.
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I’m gonna go try this.
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Promise to roll down the windows too!
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Oh hey, the one place that responded won’t to teletherapy for intake. Because they need to see my shifty, lying, narcissist face. (Ok, not their exact words, but really. I know what they meant)
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I think your first session should be on projecting.
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Yeah… that was a little extreme. They did make a point that they need to be able to see my face and watch for things, and they weren’t being particularly friendly, but I shouldn’t have taken it there.
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I think hyperbole and projection are excellent hobbies. I myself develop these skills reguarly.
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Maybe if I hire a voice coach I’ll learn a better, louder kind of projecting?
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I have never heard you speak but I’m still certain that you would be a fantastic voice actor.
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They can’t do video? Is it a religious thing?
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