Or just a post it note that reads “DON’T FUCKING DO THIS”
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Oooooo, make it a conversation piece and put one of those joke museum description plaques next to it with some… commentary.
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After nailing or gluing a frame around it.
“Adventures in Assholery #17}. May 2020
Let LD write the synopsis.
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I would love to do this. Guests that don’t share our excellent sense of humour might not appreciate it, and we rely heavily on good reviews.
Edit: this is the second time this year the airbnb has been trashed by drug people. Zero people did it in 2019. Were we lucky or did something change? Or is 2020 just garbage?
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I have so many things to get done for work today, and less than 3 hours of the workday left…so of course I’ve spent the past hour wasting time on the internet. 
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I ordered 2 packs of chicken breasts from Imperfect Produce. The order just came and one was apparently substituted by a jar of marinated artichokes?!?
ETA: Also, the mushrooms I got are about to go off so I really need to cook them today. I did not want to cook today. I cooked yesterday and the day before. Hmph.
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It’s too hot out for me. And yet, it gets too cold at night for my tomatoes to go in the ground.
Ugggh I just want to stop having to drag them out every single day.
Also had a minor meltdown that resulted in Greyman and I cleaning the kitchen in the middle of the work day.
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Preach! I am so so tired of hauling the tomatoes out of the basement (which is shared so this means hand-scrubbing needed) and then trying to decide whether it’s safe to set them at ground level or whether they should be more sheltered from the cold/wind/3-4 inches of rain in a day and thus should be hauled all the way upstairs to our back deck which is covered.
Tiny victory: hardening off plants is near impossible in this climate while working outside the home so at least I do not have that stress which I’ve had literally every other year I’ve gardened.
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Plant them then - Cover them every night?
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Gold spray paint is my go to for hiding/repairing/home improvements in general
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I also had issues with my order this week (one apple and one yogurt and each was a 3 item listing). Easy to do the chat on the website and they’ll refund you! Doesn’t fix your meal plan lol but hope that helps! I had it back within 3 days.
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Sometimes I hate being the adult in the room at my job.
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I literally JUST remembered that right before the lockdown I got an awesome new tea mug that I used maybe 5 times total before we were all sent to WFH. And it is still at my office, where we are not allowed to go - literally, as in, badge access is revoked.
It was one of those where stuff appears when you put hot liquid in it. From one of my favorite books. I miss it.
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A house with goats across the back fence I was VERY excited about turns out to be in a very soul crushing mega build. With tons of road noise. Wompwomp.
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Balls.
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My body is a balloon and someone let the air out and now I’m lying here all wrinkly and flaccid.
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I do not care about anything today and just want to lie on the couch and sleep.
I am not lying on the couch sleeping, I’m sitting at my desk working. In between OMD breaks.
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My uterus is demanding carbs. All of the carbs. ALL of them. I was thisclose to placing the pickup order for really expensive bagels from the local bakery, but pickup isn’t until Friday and by then hopefully my uterus has calmed the fuck down.
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Also, I have to walk to the post office this evening to mail an order (YAY I GOT AN ORDER THAT IS NOT A COMPLAINT) and it’s cold and drizzly and foggy and I don’t wanna.
In the Before Times, I’d reward myself for an unpleasant errand by going into some cafe or shop or even Whole Foods and buy myself a treat, but now that feels unsafe.
Shit, in the Before Times, I didn’t have to walk all the way to the post office to mail something because stuff dropped in the corner mailbox was actually getting picked up and it wasn’t taking 10 days minimum for someone’s order to even fucking leave Chicago, much less arrive.
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My psychiatrist is supposed to call for a 2-3 minute phone appointment between noon and 5:00 today. It is now 4:00. I was okay for the first hour or two, but have been getting progressively more anxious, and now nauseated, since then. You all know I have phone call issues. Come on, man, hurry up and call me, or don’t.
I have been trying to distract myself by re-watching Outlander (again), but since I’ve been doing that non-stop for about the last month, it’s not helping very much.
Also, the TV show has become a bit of an obsession. I know why…my mind wants to exist in a fictional 1700s world for a reason right now…but I think it might be getting unhealthy. I’m telling myself it’s okay for these few weeks because the world is all wrong and of course I want to escape, so I should obsess if I want, but when things start being normal again, I’m going to have to pull myself back into the right century.
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