Unexpired medication is on board. If there’s still a line tomorrow, I’m planning to call my OBGYN’s office first thing tomorrow morning to see if I can get an order for a beta. Still planning to meet with the hematologist on Tuesday either way—if there’s not a line anymore, I’m going to ask her about prophylactic enoxaparin starting at 7 DPO, and also about hydroxychloroquine, which was brought to my attention by a Reddit post from sometime between when I was diagnosed and now. The papers cited seemed to check out, though they were looking at use for at least 6 months leading up to pregnancy, and that’s not the kind of timeline I really have.
Me being me, I’ve come up with a bunch of reasons to kick myself in the absence of being able to kick anyone else. I didn’t check the expiration date on the syringes sooner. I didn’t know to ask about a different pharmacy. I didn’t stay on top of my reading about my condition or maybe I could have already been doing these things months ago. I didn’t mask. I didn’t research better test strips beforehand so I have no idea what progression looks like on the other kinds. I ate all the ahi tuna poke and drank all the tropical cocktails on my honeymoon. In short, I was not perfect, and I feel like I don’t have a lot of room for error.
Oh well. If it doesn’t work out, then I do better for next time.
I will say that over the past couple of months, I quit acupuncture because I was car-less/busy/sick/traveling and kept forgetting to take my herbs, and . . . suddenly I got a positive? But I also started doing my hideous green smoothies sometimes again. So who knows if any of those things had to do with anything or if it was all a random crapshoot.
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I don’t think it’s possible to know for sure, but I strongly suspect it’s a random crapshoot. I’m sorry it was such a struggle to get the medication. I hope you can give yourself some grace 
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Back to negative. I was trying so hard to guard myself, but I’m still pretty hurt by the whole thing.
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This is just so unfair and shitty. I’m so sorry
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So sorry, friend. Sending love and warm thoughts and hugs. Please be kind to yourself. This fertility business really is crapshoot.
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Hugs WJ. I’m really sorry.
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I took the rest of the day off from my day job (though still have to do my night thing) and my cat is letting me cry on her—she is literally on my shoulder, nuzzling my face. I still have to go to my boob appointment but gonna just lie here for a while and feel my feelings.
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I’m so sorry. I really wanted better for you.
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The hematologist gave me permission to start taking the shots every month starting at ovulation and told me to go back to the rheumatologist to ask about the hydroxychloroquine. I’ll be honest, I am not really looking forward to shots half the month, especially not since I already do messy vag tablets, but it is what it is.
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Still not bleeding, though I’ve been lightly cramping since last night. Any time now, I guess.
I did get approval to see the rheumatologist to ask about the other drug. I did see him before when we were looking at whether we could figure out my autoimmune stuff, but this time I’m just looking for advice about the hydroxychloroquine and possible rx. Plugging along.
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Finally bleeding. Haven’t heard back from the rheumatology office yet.
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The rheumatology office never called, so I called them back. The next available appointment was 6/2, which I took even though it will mean getting into a training late, because the next one after that was 6/20, and I’ll already be out of town! I guess that office keeps pretty busy.
I woke up this morning to an overflowing menstrual cup, which was not great. I’m pretty curious to see if ovulation will come at its usual time in the cycle. It did with the previous two chemicals, but who knows.
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TC: I had to give myself the first lovenox injection of the cycle on my new med schedule, and I still have a yellow bruise from the last injection two weeks ago.
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Ow. I hope you get less bruises or they start healing a little faster.
I am edging towards where we might be ready to start trying, some 6 months after I thought I would be.
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