Best laid plans 
I thought I’d have 3 kids by now and be arguing with my husband about whether to have a fourth. LOL no. I wonder how parallel universe me is doing…
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seriously like I thought this all out, why doesn’t the universe want to work with me here? Then there’s the part of me that’s like we’re exhausted with one how we gonna handle a second?
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Yeah, I’m scared how much a pregnancy and new baby would take away from Latte. I’m sure this is like, the age old “do we add a sibling” feels. But it’s so hard to know the right time even if I COULD pick the timing. 
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I feel this so hard right now. And I’m bitter that I’m back to making the decision instead of just being 31 weeks pregnant and stuck with it.
At the same time, I had a really hard time with grieving our little family of 3 when I got pregnant last fall, and then I got to where I was feeling a lot better about it and then lost the pregnancy.
We are sort of trying again starting now, but I’m not sure how long we’ll try because I’m starting to get to a point where I’m ready to just be done with the not knowing. Not quite ready enough to stop, but ready enough to see that we might not try as long as I’d originally thought.
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Thrilled to be starting my vitamins for diminished ovarian reserves! Based on what I’ve seen other people say about taking prenatals, I should probably take these at night for nausea, right?
This contains B12, which I’ve historically had a reaction to, so fingers crossed I can tolerate these bad boys.
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Also, wish there was a box I could check at the beginning of this journey to say actually, a penis haver will not be involved.
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DOR unite. If you haven’t run across “it starts with the egg” by Rebecca Fett, that can be another place to turn for supplemental (supplements, lifestyle, etc) infertility advice.
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I was so glad my ob got it after one conversation. Marketing never will
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Will have to check the book out! Although hoping this process doesn’t mean I have to start eating vegetables…
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Alas, vegetables are indeed recommended 
but I think plenty of people use the supplement guides and ignore the rest! So much of this stuff you just have to pick and choose what works for you- there’s so much info out there, and only a minimal amount of really good data.
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Whelp I got my period. 
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Dislike 
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Mr Pug is fully confident (or so he seems) that we will have baby number 2. He said last night, we should have 3 babies just to show “them” we can.
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FF seems unable to detect my ovulation this cycle for some reason, even though I have had no trouble detecting it (positive OPK, ovulation pain, watery CM, libido spike, raised temps after). I think it may be that I had higher than usual temps in the first half of my cycle so it got confused. I’ve learned that my cycle is like:
Summary
- High temps then drop super low toward end of period
- Then an “arc” of higher temps between the super low at end of period and another super low right before ovulation
- Slow climb after ovulation
- Dip after slow climb
- Another slow climb to a higher elevation
- Repeat
But that “arc” was at higher temp levels than usual this cycle; I’m not sure why but maybe due to using heating pad more since it was colder here the past few weeks than usual?
Another thing that may have confused it is that according to my CD1, ovulation came early compared to my earlier pattern. BUT! I noticed/remembered something:
My period took longer last cycle to come. Then I bled for less time than usual. And, historically over the long view, a lot of times if I had a longer cycle than usual, the period that followed it would be short and the following cycle would be short. I think that sometimes I basically am at CD1 hormonally but the blood doesn’t come out for an extra couple of days for some reason, so everything is off by a couple days. I don’t know what else would explain having an “extra long luteal phase” followed by a shorter than usual period and ovulation on CD12/13 when it usually happens on CD14/15. This used to happen to me all the time where it would have 28-day cycles for a long time and then suddenly have a 30 followed by a 26, like the longer cycle “steals” the days from the shorter cycle. I think that for some reason the blood just takes longer to come out sometimes and then comes out more explosively over a shorter timeframe.
Bodies. They are super weird.
All that said, I am firmly in TWW territory and doing that dance of trying to remain optimistic while not so hopeful that I’m crushed if it doesn’t happen. It would be really nice if it did happen this cycle, though. It’s my last shot at a 2021 baby, and I really like the symmetry of the year ending in “1” since I was born in 1981 and my mom in 1961. It’s also fully six months since I conceived my ill-fated Olive, and I am just ready to be pregnant again!
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Interesting. Have you ever had a LEEP procedure by any chance? A constriction of the entrance to the uterus could lead to a delayed period and conception struggled both I think. But I think you’ve said you’ve had an IUD right? So they should have known if you can’t dilate 
just trying to think through things in case there’s anything you can explore/peruse further!
Thanks for spending the brainpower. I have not had LEEP. I had a Paragard IUD for the maximum years. Did not have any trouble getting it out. I also had a D&C so they dilated me then as well and didn’t report any issues. It’s also seemingly random as to when it happens? Like it’ll be totally normal a majority of months, and then this weirdness happens only randomly. The last time I was at the GYN, I also had them specifically look for blockages, issues that might stop the blood from coming out, etc. since my period was taking so long coming back after the D&C, and they said they saw nothing wrong. IDK if constriction is something they’d be able to look for like that?
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Ah, probably not then, I think you’d have run into that already.
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The Temp Drop app, weirdly enough, doesn’t have charting powers so I had to re-download Fertility Friend. That’s a weird little blast from the past there. Obviously I haven’t charted since before I started doing IVF.
Definitely only entering temperatures. Entering anything else will give me false hope. Fertility apps are really, really not designed for super-low sperm counts!
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Made a doctor’s appointment. Not quite sure how this HMO thing works yet but pretty sure I need to meet my GP and then I can request/be referred for appointments for anything else I might need.
On CD 71. I hate PCOS.
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Oof, that’s rough. I hope your insurance/doctor hurdles are as low as possible and easy to overcome!