Yay! I’m married to a prolific known donor, AMA. I’ve met a family, and can also pass questions through him.
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Wow, what a cool thing that he’s done! How did he get into it?
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Alright, consult with fertility doctor went OK. We may need more help than I initially had hoped, but better to know that sooner rather than later.
I had my AMH numbers checked about a year and a half ago, and it was 1.08. At the time, my primary care doc said that she didn’t want me to read too much into it, since it’s not a full picture. At the consult today, though, the fertility doctor was worried about that number + my relatively short cycles. It sounds like based on what he knows so far, he thinks we’d have to use some science for me to get knocked up. I’m mostly feeling grateful that I’m in a two uterus marriage, that my wife is open to carrying, and that it’s important to me to have a baby, but not necessarily to be the one who carries it. We’ll both get some testing done and then make a plan. We’ll see!
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Wompwomp. Cycle 2.2, failure. And a shitty luteal phase to boot. (11 days probably, I’m going LH strips not temping right now). Need to contact my insurance to see what the fertility treatment standards are, since we (gasp) have coverage now.
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I have questions too for @Elle but I’m not sure what they are right now. We were approached about my husband being a KD for a friend of a friend but it didn’t work out. There was definitely a lot to think about!
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It’s a really big decision, I totally get it!
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Ok, question for you all, since this really seems like a group of people who have done the research: do you all know much about cannabis and fertility? I consume edibles decently regularly, and would of course stop once I’m actively trying to get pregnant and through the pregnancy. Would it be to my advantage to quit now?
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Depends on sourcing I would think? I’ve read we don’t have any direct research on cannabis and fertility, since research is really restricted since it’s been restricted by the government. However, we know that depending on sourcing, heavy-metal contamination can be a concern in cannabis products, including CBD oils. That’s been the concerns I’ve seen brought up on various infertility forums.
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In our case, the couple looking for sperm found someone closer to them locally which in a pandemic ended up being a pretty big contender, but they were looking for someone from the same quite small ethnic group as them, which we are in. In the end though, I’m glad it didn’t work out because at the time that I was seriously considering it, I was pregnant, and I’ve since had two miscarriages. I think we wouldn’t consider it again until we have completed our family given how hard that experience has been, and frankly that experience might also make him less appealing as a KD? I’m not sure?
But we were thinking quite seriously about it…we wanted to help people who have two uteruses be able to have a family!
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I’ve seen certain cannabis products discussed for their use to reduce nausea for people with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, in particular when it’s unresponsive to other treatment, but those were very off-brand usage and specific products I think - nothing I’ve seen recommended by a health professional. There is just the very start of research into it happening now.
For general usage, I’d probably stop a few months beforehand at the same time as starting prenatal? But I don’t use it and don’t have research or information on it.
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Sick Kids used to have information but they ended the site. Tom Hale now has the best cannabis info. Like almost anything it’s a risk/benefit analysis. I stopped fr ovulation to period on attempt one and from ovulation to three months post partum on attempt two. I use cbd oil during seizure exacerbations and sometimes for period pain. I got high once in the summer and didn’t breastfeed high. I’m very worried about thc on developing brains. But everyone is different
Re known donors. My partner was with a long term ex who didn’t want kids and watched a documentary about the struggles people without sperm can have getting sperm. It covered both sperm banks and the then newly digital world of know donors. He started the process with a bank, but didn’t finish and didn’t love the fact that they verified his sperm count but not what he said about education etc.
As it came up on and off he ended up researching the known donor world and joined the Yahoo groups (*side note for when you write the movie about it, at the same time I was married to my ex wife and creeping those groups, but she wanted bank sperm because she was afraid of men seeing me). Those groups eventually became the known donor registry.
He donated to a few families many of which have or may want more kids later. Relationships run from texting friends to facebook friends to just messages when they want sperm. Some families have met each other. If scheduling permits some families are still growing.
We met on kdr. I wanted sperm but we clicked as soon as we met. I was annoyed at the gods. I got pregnant cycle two, and had been torn about suggesting pausing trying/switching donors so we could date. Logically I should have.
Basically his process after both sides weed out crazies is that he provides a clean bill of health, gets an approximate window, and drives to a house or hotel room. Then he provides a sample in a syringe and exits.
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What an incredible story! I am eagerly awaiting the movie of this.
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I feel like I might be about to start my period. I hope I’m just about to have the shits. Because if I’m about to start my period, I’m like, over a full week early.
I know I know, it might be wonky a bit after loss, but… I was totally regular for 3-4 cycles and then dropped from 27ish to 25 last month and now we’re cramping on day 17???
Nervous that this just means I’m quietly sitting here losing my fertility while waiting about 8 more months.
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And you don’t track ovulation, so you don’t know if you ovulated really early or are having a really short luteal phase?
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On the subject of tracking… I just ordered myself a TempDrop. If I am going to spend the next possibly several years not preventing pregnancy (because I want a baby, so why would we prevent?) but not trying (because we can’t have one anyway, so peeing on ovulation sticks would not be a good use of my time), it would be nice to at least know when my period is due so I don’t make myself batshit crazy looking for a miracle.
But I don’t want to go back to sticking a thermometer under my tongue all the time, because it sucks and interferes with my sleep and I NEVER have a solid block of sleep before I wake up, so it’s probably not that accurate anyway.
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Wow. I definitely chickened out (so far) on trying this cycle. While I want another baby, I think I’m pretty terrified to be pregnant again. This is a very weird space for my brain to inhabit. I’m not thrilled with my ambivalence around all this. 
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Not reliably. I can often guess because I get a lot of the egg white cervical mucus most of the time. Not currently temping though.
I did have burritos with a lot of beans last night so it could just be the shits since no blood yet…
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AGAIN with the positive OPK on the exact day that Swan is gone till after I’m asleep. I wasn’t expecting it to be positive until tomorrow or Friday since it was positive at CD14 last cycle and it’s only CD12 right now. Whyyyy do I feel like I’m never going to get my full consecutive three days of GOF at/after positive? 
Solidarity with the thermometer hate. I have the hardest time staying awake enough that it doesn’t just fall out of my mouth, and, yeah, sometimes my cat wakes me up by having an asthma attack so I need to get up and give him his inhaler really quick, and I’m always like DAMMIT there goes my accurate temp.
IDK if it helps, but sometimes I get vague cramping a week before my period that then goes away until it’s time for it to actually come, and I noticed that’s gotten more common since my loss, so maybe the same is happening to you?
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Anecdotally, I noticed the exact same thing post loss. Who TF knows why–if i was hyperaware or if my uterus was just more sensitive or it was a progesterone symptom or what. It doesn’t seem to happen anymore, but again it could just be that I’m not really paying attention anymore.
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Re Cramping: I get the same even before my loss I would get cramps maybe a week or so before CD1.
Speaking of CD1 mine is due Sunday so I should know pretty soon if cycle number 11 worked. I was super confused just now when I added up the cycles, because we started in June but then I remembered cycles are (typically) 28 days and not a full month. 
Anyway, I never expected it to take this long (AGAIN!!!) My original timeline was Summer 2017 - Start trying and get pregnant right away, Spring 2018 - have baby #1, Summer 2019 - Start trying for #2 and obviously get pregnant right away again (duh!) Spring 2020 - have baby #2. At least point I would be all done having babies and could just move forwarded into the future or raising children and planning next steps.
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