Ovulation pains this cycle are FIERCE! We’ve hit all our GOF targets so far (just gotta get tomorrow in really) and I’ve even managed to go for an orgasm each time instead of just lazily starfishing; we’ve managed to make it hot! Maybe all of that will be good luck. The weather here has been quite remarkably wacky—it even SNOWED at my boss’s house about 45 minutes away—and it would be a good story to tell that we conceived when snow fell on the Hollywood sign, lol.
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Still stark white at 14 DPO so probably gonna call this one. Ugh.
The perpetually optimistic part of me is engaging in some magical thinking that maybe it’ll happen the week of the wedding. (I do get another try in between, but even though I’m still going to try like hell, it’s less exciting to think about going through the nervousness of the first few weeks pregnancy during my wedding/honeymoon, given my loss history.)
IDK how it’s even possible that the perpetually optimistic part of me still exists, honestly! But it’s there and giving me (generally false) hope every month.
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Update: had my uterus stabbed for a biopsy today. ~ fuuuuun ~ 
(not too bad but momentary cramping was a bitch)
Had a call with fertility doc a couple weeks back. She said she probably recommends IVF if all outstanding tests come back OK. Specifically, because of my endo and blocked tube on one side, she suggested IVF - > surgery - > implant. So I’m looking I to that gradually.
I wanted to thank everyone who shared their IVF stories, especially @Bracken_Joy and @Bernadette and @wooljaguar. It makes it a lot less scary to know people who have done it.
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Also, marginally related, Kaiser should replace all their PCPs with ObGyns. The random doc that did my biopsy was awesome and actually read my chart? In detail? Before seeing me?
Also turned out she went to my bff’s high school up in NorCal, we had gone to the same district! So that was a weird kind of fun.
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Implant meaning embryo transfer? I was confused for a second wondering how, like, Nexplanon was going to be involved!
Wishing you smooth forward progress. I know it sucks to have that many hurdles between you and the goal but having a plan is something at least!
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Yeah that’s what I meant 
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Haha fair point. We transfer and we just hope they implant 
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And I read implant as a noun 
.
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So did I, so I’m glad you asked 
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I am freaking out because my enoxaparin turns out to have expired in January 2022. That’s how long it’s been since I needed it. The Teladoc wouldn’t give me more over the phone and my PCP hasn’t called me back yet. Ummm, so I used it anyway.
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Freakkkkinnnnggggg ouuuutttttt
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Here with you 
and sending love.
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I feel so nervous and desperate! Like OMG but there’s no way it’s actually going to work and covid fucks with blood clotting and that’s already one of my problems and and and…and I drank all the fruity alcoholic things in the TWW.
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OK my PCP put the Rx in for me so now I just wait to hear from the pharmacy and then see if they’ll let Swan pick it up for me. Do they…require proof of some kind to pick up other people’s Rx? I now have a marriage certificate I can show them, lol…
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You just need name and DOB 
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May have teared up as soon as I opened this, I’m here with you. Hope pharmacy pickup is easy and sending all of the good thoughts
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OMGGG
All the fingers crossed. Take care of yourself. Big hugs.
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