That is a hilarious pickup line. Well done you
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Well. Glad we already have embryos. My AMH is down to 0.4 now. At least my prolactin is still normal.
ETA which, below 0.5 is much lower odds of success for IVF, and below 0.7 is expected for over 43 years of age.
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Also my fucking phone isn’t working, SirB and I both have atrocious phone call quality this last week and it’s a HUGE problem for his work but also for me attempting to reach the fucking old clinic lady. I got her on the phone just long enough she emailed me to ask me to send an email instead, and now she hasn’t replied. I’m going to drive the fuck down there soon if this doesn’t change.
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In a shocking turn of events, I’m feeling better about life in general now that I’m no longer on the heaviest day of my period. I’m still not optimistic about our chances with this IUI cycle but feeling better about my ability to cope regardless of the outcome. I think when it’s CD2 I just need to nap with my microwavable rice bag and wait for the feelings to pass.
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debating having an alcoholic drink. I’ve drifted anywhere from total abstinence to drink til its pink but I haven’t had anything for a solid few months and the month I got a positive, however short-lived, I wasn’t drinking. Plus just generally feeling better when I don’t drink and having a tendency to overdo it. But goddamn my MIL has been stressing me tf out and I’m like hmmm, what is the fertility impact of drinking and being less stressed vs being dry and stressed.
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Psychology wise, for me, I try to never start drinking again to cope, only to celebrate. Since it’s a depressant it makes coping more difficult past the buzz. Plus it leads to some really toxic internal narratives for me around me as a drinker, the purpose of drinking, etc. Just my 2 cents as a now essentially non drinker who loves the flavor and short term effects of alcohol.
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TBH I wish I had a good mocktail right now. This is a good reminder/advice in general though.
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I recently picked up some mini cans of tonic water at the store. Highly recommend, tonic has some TEETH for when there’s a vague self destructive vibe to the mock tail desire 
That and the really peppery ginger ales are good for bases for mocktails around the holiday when I would want like, straight rye bourbon and get a nice burn.
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Hmmm I wonder if I can have Greyman make me a mocktail out of stuff we’ve got in the house. Could probably do some bubbly water, bitters and rose’s or something.
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Bitters in grapefruit sparkling water is excellent. Also good in plain club soda IMO, that’s a go to for me.
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Our go-to is bubbly water, bitters, and a lemon wedge. But a splash of Rose’s should do if you don’t have fresh citrus in the house. Many bitters have a high percentage of alcohol so it gives a tiny modicum of real alcohol flavor, but generally a few splashes isn’t enough to “count.” Source: was bartender from 21–30.
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Sustained temp rise has confirmed ovulation the day after I got positive OPK two days in a row. On CD freaking 56. So that’s . . . something. I am grateful that it actually happened but it’s still blowing my mind that I’ve had to add another thing to my list of fertility problems:
- blood clotting disorder
- low AMH / AFC count
- shitty egg/embryo quality
- now can’t even take it for granted that I’ll freaking ovulate regularly.
January through April were totally normal, and then I’ve had only four cycles since then. And this one is the longest I’ve ever, ever had, not counting the time I spent waiting for my period after my D&C.
I have just emailed my clinic about what next steps might be given my now-irregular ovulation, saying that I want to try to transfer my abnormals in January if there’s some way we can make that happen. I was really starting to be on the fence about whether I should wait to transfer them until AFTER our additional year of trying, but then I decided it would be better for my peace of mind to get the transfer over with before we have to pay $800 in storage fees on the embryos for another year. (Yes, the $4000 transfer is more expensive than $800 in storage fees, but I would likely want to do it at some point anyway, so it comes out to be less in the long run.)
I think my remaining plans are as follows:
Plan A - transfer abnormals in Jan and see if they self-correct, knowing they probably will not
Plan B - try to get ovulation-stimulating medication for as many non-invasive cycles as they will let me have it . . . no real fear of multiples because honestly if I can’t make a single good embryo out of the 7 I sent off for testing, the likelihood that I could miraculously make 2 seems super low . . . try through 2023
Plan C - donor eggs in early 2024
Plan D - donor embryos a bit later on in 2024 if donor eggs don’t work out, probably my friend’s if she still has kept them around that long and hasn’t changed her mind . . . with 13, she has enough that there would even be a chance of siblings for me, even if she decides to use some more herself
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I just completely accidentally clicked on the toolbar button I’d made when I’d started creating a registry for my first pregnancy, which I’d then updated with the dates for each subsequent pregnancy, so that it currently reads “Arrival Date February 6, 2022.” And then compulsively scrolled through all the cute shit I’d picked out and felt really bad inside for a minute. And then dragged that button into a folder so it doesn’t happen again.
What would it even feel like to have a 9-month-old right now?
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Totally feel ya. Always like, damn, what if I had a 1.5 y.o. AND a 1 month old right now? Crazy. A totally different, foreign-to-me life.
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Sorry wj I dunno why this wrote as a reply to you 
uterine septum digression
I was reading a medical paper all about uterine septums (septa?), and it seemed to imply that the mc rate in women with septums and spontaneous pregnancies was at most about 40%, but the rate in IVF pregnancies was like 70%.
I’m curious about the huge difference here, and wondering if they count good embryos that don’t implant as losses? Or do they have to get a positive beta first before it counts as a loss?
Basically curious if there’s a much lower rate of implantation that results in a pregnancy detectable on a cheapie test, and so if I might be successfully getting fertilized eggs but a much lower rate of implanting.
I dunno, mostly trying to hold onto some hope that I could maybe get pregnant and carry a pregnancy to term easily if I get this taken care of?
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I’m guessing it has to do with, your chances are better if the thing didn’t keep you from getting pregnant in the first place? With IVF I think a lot can be attributed to underlying causes of infertility.
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I believe they also compared it to rates w/o the uterine septum condition and it was worse, by like 20 ish percent? Will have to dig up the paper.
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Right, but people who wind up doing IVF may have septums that are on average different than people who don’t do IVF but also have septums, is what I was thinking?
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Ahh I see what you’re saying.
I would like to get mine evaluated. My doc said it didn’t look bad on the ultrasound but a lot of times you can’t really see them on the ultrasound, so… It’s bad enough to be visible on the ultrasound then…
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Yep. No paper is assigning people to IVF as a random test group, so you have population issues baked in because of ethics.
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