I go to the clinic without my wife one time and get husbanded. Even while beginning every conversation with “my wife (name) is usually with me but couldn’t be here today.”
Surprise IUI today it is! I think my doctor just missed a follicle during the ultrasound yesterday. I will be wearing my rainbow sash.
Are you sick of me yet? Too bad! @BiblioFeroz i love love love the doctor you sent me to. He straight up knows I don’t want to be there and have a bad attitude, and he like nicely teases me about it. It’s great.
And my dreams of getting two IUIs per month are finally coming true! My surge timing was a little weird, so I get to do one today + one tomorrow. Doctor agreed to it but with lots of caveats about how this weird situation is the only time it makes sense. Whatever! I do what I want!
I’m so glad he’s working out for you! I suspect his bedside manner is not for everyone but I really enjoyed it 
.
Can I just skip October please? Having immense dread over my EDD and thinking about all the things I should have been doing. GM had bought me a Halloween themed maternity shirt that I hoped I would at least be pregnant enough to wear again that is shoved in the back of my closet, I have a little pumpkin baby hat, all our ideas for new baby Halloween costumes are coming back.
And all the neighborhood kids are gonna be ringing my doorbell.
I’m just a bitter, angry person right now and I feel like if I was going to get pregnant again I should have by now? Like that’s statistically not a practical assumption to make.
And a year ago I could have afforded IVF and now I’m like psssht I can’t afford shit.
My friend is moving in October (on my EDD GO FUCKING FIGURE) and then going to start trying for her second and I am NOT COOL WITH IT but also that decision has nothing to do with me.
I’m mad at anything anyone says about my miscarriage or fertility. “Well at least you have gotten pregnant!” No thank you. “You’re still a mother!” I don’t feel like one. “It will happen for you!” You’re unfounded confidence is meaningless to me. “It will happen when it’s meant to!” Oh shove a sock in it.
I don’t like myself like this. I resent people when they don’t deserve it. I expect empathy from people that don’t have the history to understand. I’m just constantly, uselessly screaming into the void and being triggered by stupid shit and I hate it.
Anyway, we’re one month from a year trying and I need to start looking into getting and financing help. But God I don’t want to. I didn’t think I would need to back in the beginning of the year.
God this sucks.
Oh and of course I’m back to doing OPKs because I have income so we’re actually trying trying again and because I am doing OPKs I haven’t initiated sex and my tests are starting to get darker and I often have a quick surge so of course I proposed sex in what I thought was a sexy way and got shot down and like ughhh I hate this so much.
I’d be really tempted to pee on the OPKs and make GM check them and initiate sex but I’m sure he wouldn’t find it any sexier than I do.
WHY CAN’T WE JUST CASUALLY BANG AND MAKE A BABY LIKE IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY FUCKIN PERSON I KNOW DOES ON FREAKING ACCIDENT
One of my friends keeps recommending fertility pills to me and I’m like Ummm
Also I’m like going back and looking at the month I did intentionally get pregnant like wtf did I do?
Well I actually took progesterone before ovulation - one pill, as prescribed by my NP at the OBs office before ovulation, two after. Which seemed so weird because I was like won’t this prevent ovulation but obviously it didn’t.
I hit like 3 fertile days
I put in a menstrual cup after 2 inseminations and did the silly put my legs in the air thing once or twice
I was exercising more and I think drinking more water?
I wasn’t drinking any alcohol that month because the holidays did me in on that
Yeah I don’t know. I’m both in the “I will do LITERALLY ANYTHING to get pregnant” camp AND the “Ugh, any of this is too much, let’s just stop any intentional effort at all until we can afford a science baby if it doesn’t happen.”
I’m so sorry, Greyweld 
On a practical note, can you opt out of Halloween this year? In my area if you don’t have porch lights on it’s a sign that people shouldn’t come trick or treating, and people generally respect it. Or maybe GM can set a bowl of candy by the sidewalk or whatever so people don’t approach the house and could take on the responsibility of fending off would-be trick-or-treaters?
Trying to conceive sucks. I hope you can give yourself some grace around things like putting your legs in the air, exercise and alcohol. Those sorts of things aren’t going to make a difference in whether you conceive. It’s just biology and chance.
Timing insemination is the main thing that will affect your chances, but hitting any one of the three days before you ovulate maximizes your chances. It sounds like you’re bearing the burden of having to initiate sex when it’s time and that GM doesn’t want the pressure of knowing when you’re about to ovulate, and I’m sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else.
Anyhoo, would one of y’all Colorado folks that have liked their docs be willing to message me about where you’re going for treatment and what the cost breakdown has been for the procedures you’ve had?
Can you DM me so I don’t forget?
Oh me too please? I will say my prices are +/- 10% BJ’s from the write up, so all in that universe. The only difference I’ve seen is that IUIs will range from $250-1100ish, inclusive of ultrasound monitoring at the high end but not meds.
Oh, and! I don’t know much about it, but did you know that you’re in a national destination for cheap IVF? IF you go that route AND price will be your determining factor, you’re in one of the best places in the country.
Fucking clinics being slow as shit. First our old clinic cant do the paperwork right for our new clinic. Now the new clinic coordinator is saying that they don’t take low mosaic, when our doctor in our last appointment told us that they have for the last two years! So now we have to have her talk to him and see who the hell is wrong here. This is all a massive pain in the ass.
What an absolute pain! This process is draining enough, without annoying logistics making their way in.
We sent New Clinic the finished Old Clinic questionnaire 2 weeks ago. They still haven’t even gotten to the “approve embryos” part of the whole thing. Fuck maybe we will go back to IUIs.
to them
Omg. They TRANSFER low mosaics now, but only if they made them. They don’t accept low mosaic from elsewhere. 
That is a beyond frustrating technicality
My heart rate went up just reading this. How frustrating!!!
I feel like I’m back to the entire fucking drawing board on decision making. And it’s hard not to just be like, well we spent $42,000 goddamn dollars this weekend, he’s about to change jobs, fuck it for one and done why the fuck even bother anymore.
Alright, calling it! Not my month and we’ve decided to do IVF. Plan is I do one round, if it goes badly we’ll switch to my wife’s eggs for RIVF.
Before we knew about the low count issues with our initial batch of vials, we wanted to switch to the fertility doctor for better monitoring so we could use the trigger shot. Since frozen sperm can only live in the body for as little as 12 hours, we gotta nail the timing.
Out of 3 cycles with the fertility clinic, we’ve been able to use the trigger shot once. Good thing I have mostly given up any sense of feeling like we have control or I’d be frustrated, lol.
I can’t do hormonal birth control but luckily the clinic is willing to work around that. Next step all the needles.
8 dpo lower back pain promises a lack of baby this month.
Why so earlyyyyyy
Also time for one more cycle before the 12 month mark.
Edit: 7 dpo fucking hell
