TY everyone! We decided to research high-end chairs first and see what, if anything, I like and if we can figure out why. Given that the $ is roughly the same, there’s nothing particularly holding me back re buying something.
We have a similar problem with our couch. It was a floor sample we got for 1/2 off, $1,000 more than 30 years ago. It had scratches on the leather, still does, and the stuffing is shot. It was a huge stretch for us when we bought it. The seat is “sculpted” and we don’t know if we could find someone to replace it for < $2,000 the couch was new 30+ years ago. One alternative is to get DH to make fancy seat/back from wood in the shape of the scuptured leather, then get someone to make cushions for it that can be removed/replaced. Basically “upcycling” although I hate that term.
Anyway, we came up with a plan. I look at chairs/couches online and when I apply the fabric I think I want, they look cheap to me or unattractive. Not sure if I’m reacting to how the programs show the furniture, their shapes, or, or…? So we’re going to find a high-end shop whose taste we seem to agree with and then see if we can figure out what I’m reacting to?
We used to love Pompasic Mills, but have the same problem with their stuff now. It may be just because we’re Boomers and our taste isn’t current. But if we can figure out what the problem is… we can adjust for it!
We have exactly the same hair, down to the ringlet escapees if put up and the grey on top, brown underneath. Only the humidity where I am is in the 80s from April to October.
I did the Curly Girl method for a while and it worked so that I had curls, but only with shorter hair. Now, mine is past my shoulders and I often tame it with a tiny bit of hair oil as it’s drying to keep down the crazy frizzies.
A fishtail braid looks especially cool with the two different colors.
Manic Panic will take on my grey so I can sometimes have purple (and it also takes a little on the brown so it doesn’t look too weird). Learn from my mistake, though - the color Vampire Red will leave a faint pinkish stain permanently.
So one thing I’ve learned is that hair can have different amounts of curly in different spots. Mine is more curly in the front right and almost straight at the back. On especially humid days (thankfully not many here!) I comb through some smoothing curl cream while it’s still wet which takes the frizzy without getting rid of the curls completely. I’ve also done some 50/50 curl enhancing + curl smoothing when I want to up the curls
If I lived in NOLA, I would add curl enhancing cream and have perfect ringlets everywhere like I did for 3 days of a conference there haha.
I use Jessicurl confident coils for smoothing a s rocking ringlets for enhancing.
My hair texture is similar but maybe not exact. I NEVER brush my hair after showering. If I brush it it gets very very frizzy. If I comb it it gets very straight. I only brush right before I shower.
My curly haired friend bullied me into getting Not Your Mother’s curly shampoo and conditioner and it actually made a huge difference in having semi defined actual curls as opposed to hair that suggests curliness from far away. Of course then I ran out and haven’t rebought it. I do not do anything else with the curly girl method because I am lazy and my hair is super duper long.
Maybe more wavy than curly. Mine is heavily wavy and can push to curly. The easiest things to do are to (per above) stop brushing. Do a wide tooth comb while you have conditioner in and try a little extra conditioner on the ends.
If you like the direction that’s going then add more steps/switch to silicone free
Curly / wavy hair things that are pretty low-effort:
Shampooing less often (ymmv how your hair likes this)
Don’t brush or comb your hair after a shower. I usually get my hair wet, detangle it then, and then shampoo / condition. If I need to detangle it otherwise, then I use fingers or a wide toothed comb
Let your hair dry - either air dry or do scrunching motions with a towel, not a blow dryer
It’s very fun that you have the different colored sections!
Eep! I used to use a semi-permanent home dye (that didn’t need a separate setting agent I think? I think it was more gentle? In a darkish auburn purple and it looked fantastic. It was a PITA for me to do on myself, but it wasn’t very expensive. I stopped doing it (oh, 5 years ago now) because I thought I might eventually go back to getting it professionally done (I had a hairdresser that did a fabulous 2-step purple/auburn highlight/lowlight thing (but no bleach because I had grey even 5 years ago), but obviously I haven’t, and I don’t know if it is likely I am willing to pay that cost, so maybe I will again? I wish I could remember the brand… I got it at a smaller grocery chain that we don’t have out here.
TY for the recs!
Hm, I actually almost always comb after shower. Sometimes I brush it after it is dry, and like you, if I do that, it goes very straight (but not perfectly straight, lol, of course not). But if I don’t brush it it stays more wavy without any product or me doing anything.
Hmmmm
Uh oh, I also am lazy.
Uhhhh ditto, at least right now. (Like, the longest pieces (although it isn’t trimmed very straight) are to my natural waist when wet.) I might cut a fair bit off soon though, because the ends are rough.
Hm, I don’t comb the conditioner it, I just put it on top and then finger comb in the shower. I also don’t use a leave-in conditioner… should I use leave-in conditioner? I don’t think I ever have.
The stuff I am using is just Loreal Pure Care purple shampoo and conditioner. It is sulfate free, but I guess not silicone.
I wash my hair usually once a week unless I get really sweaty (such that my scalp sweats), so no problems there haha. I switched years and years ago (from daily) and have been so happy with it. I really don’t get greasyness until maybe the last day.
Hm, I always comb it after when it is wet, to get all the loose hairs out, so I don’t shed all over the place. Since it is so long, and I only wash it once a week, does get a fair amount. But it doesn’t really tangle the way other people describe tangling…
I usually air dry (see: lazy) unless I want to straighten, and even then I often air dry (see: lazy) unless I am cold and it is winter or I have to leave soon, haha.
I do feel like without any product, and with it being so long (and so, heavy), the “waves” do stay in if I do nothing. If I brush it once it is dry it becomes mostly straight (but not stick straight). But yeah if I do not brush at all (or even moreso if I don’t even comb) the “volume” stays a lot longer?
I just wish it was reversed! Surprise white hair hiding on the bottom!
I wonder if this is a common pattern of greying, since rural has it too, and it’s just that for decades women have just died their hair to cover it up and so it’s not really seen so much… My own mother dyed her own hair for decades, originally dark like her original hair color, and then later moving to a very light brown. She still dyes it and she is 76. If I am going to go through the effort of dyeing my hair it isn’t to make it back to a boring color - I do a fun color or do platinum white highlights or something! i will admit that I do look younger when all of the greys are covered (though I’ve only dyed slightly fun colors, never back to brown).
I also think it is great for middle-aged people to rock grey or white hairs… like, it is natural (and a consequence of all this stress we are under). Very few people have no grey hairs into their 40s. If you do you are fortunate indeed. But it is normal, and natural, and why do we feel the need to hide it???
(But fun colors are fun, so I might, if I can muster up the energy.)
Also, I didn’t know what a fishtail braid was so I looked it up and got sucked into braids. I am well acquainted with doing french braids, dutch braids (reverse french braids), and italian braids (2 strand twisted “braids”) on myself, but never have done fishtail. I might in the future, but in the meantime, I tried a dutch crown braid (I have never done a crown braid before) and boy is it awkward to do on yourself with no mirror! It’s quite messy, but it feels really good actually… one of the reasons I think I might cut my hair a lot is because it is so heavy (even though it isn’t actually that thick (anymore)), and annoying when sitting (it’s always caught between your back and the chair back) and pulls downward and backward on your head… obviously the weight is still the same, but it is more evenly distributed, better even than a braided close bun at the nape. I think double dutch braids might work even better for me too (less mental gymnastics trying to figure out how to switch the handholds and direction after I got behind the first ear, lol).
I don’t do much curly hair stuff but I do have a couple hair turban towels (I only have two because it came in a two pack) and I like them for being able to put my wet hair up out of the way. I’ll wear one for fifteen or so minutes (aka till I remember) then swap to the other one, then air dry after that. If I’m doing any product in my wet hair I do it first then put my hair in the towel.
My hair looks a lot like yours, and I’ve gotten SIGNIFICANTLY more definition out of it by doing the following:
Work/comb in a curl cream
Weirdly - flip your hair up over the front of your head, dunk your head into a bowl of water, then squish the hair up to your scalp in big chunks to squeeze it out. Repeat 3-4 times. This seems to give more defined chunky waves as opposed to wavy frizz.
While you’re still upside down and drippy, “smooth on” a moisturizing gel, then a mousse. No combing, just wipe it all over the surface of your hair.
Squeeze the heck out of it over the bowl to get water out.
Squeeze the heck out of it with a microfiber towel. Like a lot.
Air dry, and don’t touch it until it’s mostly dry - I like to use a little alligator clip on top to get some volume in the front of my hair since I’m not touching it.
If I put it up in a towel after this to keep the drips off of my shirt, I try to “plop” it in a microfiber towel. I’m not very good at it, but it’s a thing, and it does seem to give better waves than doing the twisty turban.
I definitely still have wavy, not curly, hair, but it actually looks wavy this way, and I really like it. It takes like 5 or 10 extra minutes on shower day, and so far I’ve consistently gotten 2-3 days of semi-defined waves out of it. Then I just put it up or braid it or whatever until I shower again
Like, I took a shower in the afternoon, let it dry all evening, went to bed, and it looked like this in the morning. I took a picture because it was so big! Not curls, but fun
I’ve never used these, but I do use the Not Your Mother’s Curl cream, and their mousse, so now I’ve got to try them I’m currently using the curl bars from Ethique, and non-bar shampoo/conditioner would probably help.
I saw it on a random Instagram curly hair account, tried it, and was amazed. She dried her hair (upside down, with a diffuser), but mine is less frizzy when I let it air dry, and it’s SO much less work, which is definitely how I roll
I got my wavy hair back with menopause… just about the only thing I liked… My first gray was temples, then a streak down the middle of my head. I dyed my hair for a while as I did NOT want stripes!
Menopause at first made my hair “sticky” in that it just knotted together. For a while, I was combing thru creme rinse in the shower, then rinsing it off. After I stopped dying it, I kept the sticky, but it’s managable.
I don’t comb out my hair until it’s damp, so I keep the wave.
I stopped using conditioner years ago, but by that time, I was using a dime-sized bit in my past shoulder length hair and a bottle of the stuff lasted me 3 years or more. I decided when the last bottle was gone to just quit.
