Random Questions

I faced this conundrum in September. I ended up writing a check and taking it to the wedding since I did not have any address (snail or email) or phone number to contact them. Also, a check is more easily traced and cancelled if needed. I was going to buy a gift off of the registry, but didn’t see any way to have it shipped directly to them. It all should have been a LOT easier.


Oh noooo! Someone gave me $60 cash and that was actually great because it was a little walking around money but that much…gives me the shudders. And what if you’re leaving on your honeymoon right away?

(The giver was a cousin about 10 years younger than myself and she wasn’t even there, so it was actually super generous.)


Yeah, I feel like most banks have mobile deposit - my Chase account has a $2k daily deposit limit. A check should still be fine

To be fair, I’ve recently been informed that I’m officially “middle age”, so take all advice with a grain of salt :sweat_smile:


Questions like this remind me so much about how the world I grew up in is so different than most other areas :joy: I got married in 2017, so not too long ago. The biggest monetary gift we got was $50. Most others gave $10-$20. I think we ended up with a few items from our registry and $600 total.

The only trouble I had depositing the cash and checks was one check for $10 from my great aunt and instead of writing it out to me she wrote it out to “cash”.


I grew up like you (from what I’ve read). Dh…did not. Our wedding planning could have been a rom-com without the com. “Lower class bride fights with middle class MIL over wedding guest list, food, etiquette, everything.” She wanted everything done ‘correctly’ according to some unspoken rules of fanciness. I wanted everything done out of consideration for the people who were attending. We battled. We ended up with a lot of money because his side is wealthy, but…I would have given it all back to have eloped (I tried to, he wouldn’t). When our wedding comes up (not often, it’s been 14 years now), she still takes shots at me. :laughing:


Check is acceptable. Don’t listen to the internet.

Also - the cash funds on the website do charge a fee…but to you. The couple will get the rest. If you want to give $100 for instance it will charge you $102.5 (or whatever their fee is). If you click through on their website it is really transparent.

If someone is going to get upset about the form in which you want to give them money, I have questions about their character. Unless you give them like $100 in pennies or something crazy.

I know some people that get upset about cash funds on websites. They are dinos but basically their point was “it is rude to ask for money”. But the couple with it on their website already lived together and didn’t need things. They had “washer and dryer” and “honeymoon” funds set up and some of the older guests lost their minds.

I stand by this: if you are trying to be kind, intent matters a lot in these circumstances. I am technically a millennial so idk if gen z feels the same way, but checks are a legit gift and there are a million ways to cash them.

When my kiddo was born my grandma wrote a check for the exact amount of the day he was born( ex: $212.24 if he would have been born today). I thought that was so sweet and thoughtful!


This is so sweet! Although incentivizes later birthday in the year lol


I got married two years ago and I got a ton of checks and it was fine. Just write it to only ONE person, bc some banks have weird rules about depositing a check with two people in the recipient line when only one person is on the account (they might not have merged finances yet or don’t plan to at all). Gen Z still has to bank somewhere!


Ooo good point. And actually I…think the fiancée might work at a bank? At any rate she’s definitely the…ahem…mover and the shaker in the relationship (these are the men of my bloodline. They are very nice. But very dependent on their women. I did not marry one, but I was raised to be one.), and it would make far more sense to make it out to her. But he is my cousin. Is that weird?


No. Just write a note saying you wanted it to be easy to deposit and you don’t mean anything by only addressing it to one of them :laughing:


I really love that idea! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


thank you for this question. I just realized that someone I gave a check to hasn’t deposited it, and I wonder if the card got misplaced because they weren’t expecting it, and life is full.


That was another nice thing about using a check - I could track when / if it was cashed. I gave $350 for nephew’s wedding(spouse’s side of the family). I was going to buy one of the expensive things off of the registry - but that was too complicated.


my mother at the christmas gathering asking all her grandchildren if they had noticed the direct deposit into their accounts (ie none of them had sent a thank you in the morning) since she knows they don’t like dealing with cheques, so she doesn’t get to see their faces as they open it.


I actually think that’s the nice thing about digital giving - I don’t have to track it - it’s gone as soon as I intend it to go! No waiting around for it clear, or having to awkwardly contact them to see if it was “misplaced,” or if they just couldn’t or didn’t or whatever.


me right now

ETA: it went ok - only slightly awkward, and the person is going to buy good things with the money which I heartily approve of (obig, once I give the money, it is the recipient’s to do with, and I do not ask for an accounting)


But if you accidentally send to the wrong recipient it is really hard to get it back!

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I just put a deposit down for my first tattoo! What do I need to know beyond the basics? (@Smacky ?)

It’s going to be on my inner upper arm and small-ish? Final size is TBD but probably 2"X2" or just slightly larger.


Ooooh I’m jelly!

I’m about to say a bunch of stuff you already know, because none of this is complicated and you are smart. I’m saying the stuff anyways.

Make sure you really really like the design before they start. It’s ok to be fussy.

That’s a painful spot because the skin is so thin, and prone to scarring. Be vigilant with care during healing. Wear sleeves that cover the tattoo until it’s totally healed, so it doesn’t rub against your torso. If you’re a sweaty exercise-er, find a way to keep the tattoo dry. Tape gauze to it or something.

For the rest of your life give that spot extra lotion and sunscreen.

Getting a tattoo hurts, obviously. Bring a really good book or a friend to distract you or something. They will be carving into your tender skin with angry bees for a long time, long term distraction is key.

Make sure you like and trust the artist.

Probably that’s it? IDK. Have fun! Tattoos are great.