I mean this in the nicest way but you’re taking way too much credit for your kid’s built in personality. This is based on all the parents of multiples who I’ve met and they said “I thought I was a great parent but it turned out my first kid was just an easy one. Then we had [second or third child] a whoo boy …” I had one coworker say if her third child had been her first, he would’ve been an only child.
My child screamed from the moment she approached a car seat until exiting, every time, from birth until she was 2.5. I still ride in the back with her if my husband is driving she’s 3. I refused to drive alone with her anywhere further than 10 minutes away for a couple years there. It just was not an option. So yeah. No. We were not portable.
They’re wildly different. Some babies just don’t wanna. (I noticed mine had STRONG prefs on certain things early on and some experimentation on very short trips helped figure it out – facing fwd vs back in stroller, carrier type, hat on vs off, etc. Also, does he fuss a lot a lot – enough that you wanna check out possible food allergies/sensitivities that he might be getting through you?)
“Raising Your Spirited Child” is an interesting read. Maybe more directly relevant as they get slightly older, but was helpful for me to understand and work with nephew better.
You’re still in the 4th trimester, right? Even if he doesn’t get chiller, hopefully your recovery continues and things do get easier!
This is true in my family. I’m one of four. If my third-born sister had been the first there might not have been any more. As it was they were cool with another after her because the first two were relatively easy by comparison (and the last was one of those unicorn babies).
Same. Well, I drive and spouse sits in the back. Pipsqueak hates the car. She usually asks to go to a nice park that’s farther away but when faced with the decision to get in the car and drive there, she decides she would much prefer the smaller park we can walk to.
@noodle Pipsqueak was not portable. When she was 8; weeks old we traveled the hour up to my parents house for “2020 outdoor Christmas” (SoCal, so it was 60 degrees and outdoor was possible). She screamed 45 minutes of the drive there, fell asleep 8 of the last 10 minutes of the drive. She fussed and/or cried half the time we were there, and then cried most of the way home. I also cried a lot that day lol.
A few weeks later we did the trip to my MILs which is 2.5 hours away. We almost moved into a parking lot in a random suburb half way home because she was screaming so much she would choke ever few minutes if we put her in the car seat. It was the worst.
But, now she loves walking around the neighborhood, going to the park, the coffee shop, etc. She is much better at car trips as long as the roads are straight.
I could have told this story. At 8 ish months we drove 2.5 hours to my parents. She screamed the entire way, so hard she puked one time and was gagging nonstop. I nearly made us get a hotel in a random town an hour away, I just couldn’t handle it. We didn’t do another drive more than 30 min for over a year after that experience.
Looking back at pictures of my kid as a baby, it’s wild to see the same facial expressions and demeanor even when she was mostly a blob. She was 100% Pipsqueak from day one, even if it takes time to understand what that means. For some kids that will mean you realize later that they are sensory seekers, or sensory avoidant. Introverts, or extroverts, Puzzle lovers and/or runners. It’s hard to figutit out when all they do is eat, poop, and sleep but you’ll piece it together as they grow up.
I encourage more discussion of non-portable babies, but have a quick question.
How are people gauging private vs public for their neurotypical kids? Like what factors are you considering?
Meowlet would be a younger kid in his class, bday is end of Oct and cut off is Sep 1 for most towns in MA. I’m thinking of keeping him out of Kindergarten til he’s 6? Does anyone have any thoughts on that or experience?
Dude, Ravi is a baby. He just wants to baby. Is there a one magical thing he likes? Ie cuddling on your chest or in your armpit? If so do that. If not, allergies or colic. Use your partner and your mom and go on those walks solo.
My first did stroller walks but at home only accepted being on a human. My second insisted on carrying on all walks, but at home was willing to be put down sometimes. Until last week when he delivered an aversion to the floor/bed/ anything not me.
Youtubers monetize the times their baby is happy, and often do sketchy baby training
I stress over this way more than I should for how far away it is, so looking forward to the discussion lol.
I also have a late Oct baby and a Sept 1 cutoff for school so she won’t be allowed to start public schools until she’s almost 6. I started school at almost 5 and then skipped a grade in elementary school so starting at almost 6 sounds sooooo late! But I am trying not to think about it for another year… or two.
One of Oster’s books goes into the “redshirting” discussions. Data is pretty clear that especially for boys, being held back goes much better for them, esp behavioral stuff. Much better to be older than younger if you can afford the extra daycare or time off work or whatever care situation.
I think the research shows that the older the kid the better they do, but totally dependent on whether you think your kid is ready. I just love his daycare and his group of friends and I don’t really wanna change haha. That said, I have no citations and myself skipped a grade.
Just a thought from a boy who was probably started in school a year late due to being born around the cutoff…
School was fine and all, but one thing I remember vividly is that as a kid, I hated extra-curricular sports. I played soccer in the local youth league, but all the other kids on my team were always in the next grade above me. Thus, I never knew anyone on the team. Every year I was on a different team, but always had the same issue of never knowing anyone. It was like having two different lives. My regular school life and my soccer life, and never the twain could meet.
Small problem? Yes, but I was always so envious of those other kids who always got to play with their friends.
Anyway, best of luck with whatever route you decide to take!
Both my kids I have to make decisions about but they are not final I keep telling myself! My oldest is 4.5 now and an end of my birthday. We are sending her to kindergarten next year because she is ready. If it goes super poorly we can always hold her back but I highly doubt it will happen. Baby GG had an end of July birthday and I’m not sure what will happen with her.
Anecdote if it helps. My niece has a June birthday and started kindergarten when she was 5 at a different school than where my SIL and BIL knew she would go. She’s now in kindergarten again this year at the school district she will keep going to. They knew she wasn’t super ready the first year but they also didn’t have to pay for daycare.
I have an early Nov kid, with a Sept 1 cutoff, but that means he’ll be one of the oldest in his class, right?
Do you have TK (transitional kindergarten) over there? I’m planning to put my son in our public school system TK starting when he’s 4 (almost 5). In our district, TK and Kindergarten are both half-day programs so I’ll need to look for aftercare regardless.