I am not a parent yet and will probably be back to eat my words… but for your 3-yo, what about having her pick the outfit the night before?
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100% chance of that outfit being wrong in the morning. Or the toddler wanting to wear it to bed. Or the child being tired and melting down because you called their new red matchbox car a bug. “Nooo it’s not a bug!” Tears. For the record it was a VW Beetle.
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My brother (3 yo at the time) had a meltdown getting dressed one morning because he couldn’t find his tail. All his stuffies had tails, where did his get misplaced?
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We did this last night because we had to catch a train at a specific time this morning and the result was a 45 minute consultation to pick the outfit last night only to have the outfit rejected this morning and us left scrambling to find the new outfit being requested while trying to still make the train.
I’ve got nothing constructive. This morning we bribed our three year old with the opportunity to wear sparkly eyeshadow out of the house if she went faster. It worked, but then we were out in public with a three year old wearing sparkly eyeshadow… 
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Thank you you made my day. You and @PDM and @Ferngully’s brother. I think I’ll just accept it as typical todler behavior and figure out threats (bribes) lol
My mum often says this also will pass. I guess she’s right oneday we’ll remember those tantrums with joy.
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We did a thingy like this so there was no handle. Yes he tried to chomp down on my finger but the rubber thing helped protect me a little.
Oh also, if he cooperated, great. Mostly he did not cooperate so I worked out a position where he laid on the floor, I sat at the top of his head with my legs over his shoulders/arms (he was flat on the floor so this was just a way for me to pin him down since I am not an octopus) and brushed his teeth/gums that way. I had forgotten about that. Don’t miss it.
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We found a little toothbrush where the bristles are on 3 sides so all 3 sides of the tooth gets brushed at the same time. Baby E has 6 teeth and we’ve been brushing them for about a month with that toothbrush and the tiniest bit of toothpaste, twice per day. For the first week or so she bit down on the toothbrush every time and we resorted to having Mr E doing silly things to make her laugh so I could brush the teeth. Now she thinks it is great and will keep her mouth open saying “ahhhhhhhh” while I brush them.
We had her 12mo well baby visit on Monday and the info packet from the doctor said as soon as her teeth are touching each other you should floss once per day as well. 4 of her teeth touch so we got some of those floss sticks and the first time she didn’t really cooperate but each time since then she’s just let me do a quick little floss between each tooth like it’s no big deal. The doctor also had us do a fluoride treatment during her 12 month visit.
Mr E and I are both from families where oral hygiene was not high on the priority list and we’ve spent a fortune as adults to fix our teeth. I was only taken to the dentist twice from age 0-18. My little sister had her back baby teeth completely eaten away into stumps by age 7. We are taking oral hygiene very seriously and doing everything the doctor recommends.
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We had one of these too - the baby frida brand one - and started using it once her first tooth popped through. She REALLY liked to chew on it and I’m convinced it did almost nothing. A few months later once she was up to 6 teeth we got the baby toothbrush with bristles on 3 sides.
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Re: tooth brushing - Bobbin got all her teeth kinda late and then sort of all at once but I had success with first showing her how I brush my teeth, then letting her “brush” my teeth/put her hands in my mouth (we play count mama’s teeth a LOT) and then I do the same to her and make a big fanfare of counting all her “chompy teeth” (she has a book with dino’s who have chompy teeth and loves it).
She still fights getting her teeth brushed a little, she will try to kiss and hug me to distract me, or will chomp down on the toothbrush sometimes but its not too bad. We also have a routine where I do the brushing, rinse the toothbrush and then she does her brushing. I think giving her some ownership has helped. But again, she is turning 2 in November and got her teeth late so it was easier to incorporate her into it.
Re: clothes, I was the opinionated child about my clothes. I was the biggest pain and still am, hence my chosen profession. My mom just gave up and said if I didn’t wear something appropriate I would suffer the consequences alone. She would often have an outfit picked and say “you have X minutes to get dressed yourself, if you aren’t dressed by then you will wear what I picked” and that seemed to work. I also had a closet with shelves I could climb so I could reach almost all my clothing myself and could always reach what I wanted.
My little bro would periodically have a category of clothing that he would only wear or absolutely wouldn’t wear which was a challenge. For a while he would only wear “bidness shirts like dad!” (aka button downs) and then a little after that any shirt with buttons would send him into immediate meltdown territory. I think for a bit she basically put him in the same outfit all the time but I don’t really remember. I just remember hating being the one told to help him get dressed
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I think getting kids ready in the morning is a universal struggle. Some of it, I’m sure, is just kids venting displeasure at the unenjoyable things they have to do vs. the fun things they want to do. (Get used to it, kids, that’s life!)
Biting the toothbrush is normal. We discourage it but have just paid for more frequent toothbrush replacements. My kids have learned that clamping their mouths shut is not an effective dodge because we’ll just pinch their nose. The kids are a bit more cooperative when they can “help” (hold the toothbrush with you as you brush) or they get a turn, too.
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For toothbrushing: we use two! We let her have one and we use one too. She LOVES brushing her teeth. It’s actually really hard to STOP her brushing her teeth and she has a meltdown when we take them away, but we just tag team it whenever we ca. One person snatches it and the other redirects.
Giving them control whenever possible I think is the biggest way to avoid issues. Win battles of will because they’ll totally do the cut off their nose to spite their face thing. It’s like during meals, rather than try to wrestle a spoon out of their hand, just use three spoons and swap them all out. That’s where I got the idea for the extra toothbrush ha ha.
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Thank you all! Sounds like I need to keep at it with the tooth brushing. I did the silicone one that goes on my finger and I felt like I was actually brushing his teeth with that one, but he started biting hard and unexpectedly so I stopped for the sake of my finger. He likes his giraffe toothbrush so I’ll let him gnaw on it while I attempt to move it around a little bit.
I cannot contemplate flossing this child yet. I know this will be a question on his upcoming 12 month questionnaire but there’s just no way right now
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Is “I feel like I’m taking the cat to the vet, but at least the people who love caring for cats so much they can’t make eye contact with me still talk to me like a person” a good reason to change the baby’s doctor?
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Any reason that you are uncomfortable with your provider is a good reason to change. Bobbin’s first ped was a 10 minute walk from our house and I tried several providers there and they were awful. I kept trying to convince myself they weren’t because it was convenient and I was worried I was being one of those stereotypical new moms you hear about. My midwife and her assistant very gently pushed me to explore that and I realized that I need a provider that I have confidence in (and who has confidence in me and treats me well) so that I don’t ever hesitate to call should Bobbin need something.
My only regret is not switching sooner, Bobbin had an early on feeding issue not because that was reality, but because the doctors kept moving the goalposts and were pushing me hard not to breastfeed (despite supposedly being pro-nursing). I could have saved a lot of heartache if I had listened to my gut.
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YES.
We had an awful experience with first doctor (malpractice/ER/NICU trauma) and then various “this is fine” for several doctors within the same network for various reasons. We changed insurance to get to our new practice which was it’s own whole thing (having to change ALL providers after years) but it was SO worth it to have a doctor’s office that we love and where they KNOW us. They know our history, they know how we parent, and they consider us a really important part of the care team.
At the Children’s hospital we have had to spend some time at, they have signs all over that say, “if you think something is wrong, please let your providers know, because YOU know your child better than we do.”
It has made an amazing difference to have providers that we have a relationship with.
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Our 2 year old came home from daycare wearing a mask! These people are wizards! If you’re looking for a mask to fit your very small child (our 2 year old is in the 3rd percentile and still wearing some 18 month clothing), the crayola child masks do the trick.
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If I put down this napping baby, will I win the ability to get dressed and vacuum and pee, or just lose the ability to drink my tea?
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Thanks @Ckni27 and @nickybecky1
I called and switched her appointment. I only had to talk to the scheduler, so it was not too awkward. I wanted to switch her before four months, but there’s only one pediatrician and my friends who see him had only good things to say, but I was honestly just feeling very put off by a lot of small things that added up in the end. So now she’s with the family practice doctor who delivered her and I’m feeling much happier about the appointment in a couple weeks.
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I just have to point out that sometimes toddlers can be ridiculous. Baby E has 2 identical bunny loveys. Last night we put her in bed with her bunny and she screamed for 40 minutes. We thought maybe she was getting sick or had another tooth coming so we took her temp, gave her ibuprofen, I even crawled into the crib with her and she just continued screaming like she has never cried before. I stripped her down to check for hair wrapped around a finger or toe - nothing. I couldn’t figure out why she was screaming like someone was stabbing her with a knife. Finally I thought about the bunny and ran downstairs and got her other one. As soon as I gave it to her she put her thumb in her mouth, laid her head down, and went to sleep. There is no difference between the bunnies, except this one she insisted on taking in the car with us yesterday and she dropped it in the street, so we put it in the laundry pile 
Apparently she wanted the dirty one.
I still can’t believe that she screamed like she was hurt for 40 damn minutes over having the “wrong” bunny, when they are identical! The non-acceptable one is just slightly newer (we bought another one when we realized how strongly attached to the first she was, in case of accidents) and hadn’t been dropped in the street.
*Cross-posted in my journal
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Not just toddlers, and bedtime is also the fucking worst. Last night was movie night which means my five year old gets to stay up an hour later while we watch some kids movie together and have popcorn. Well, I use the word “watch” loosely, he half-watches and probably sits down a total of ten minutes through the whole thing. Last night there were woodland creatures on screen for a bit so he wanted to pretend to bite me like he saw on screen then he tried lick me and continued to try to lick me even after I told him to stop and it was a whole Thing. Eventually he gave me a tearful apology and said (without me prompting) that he wouldn’t do it ever again. Yeah guess what happened when I was trying to actually put him in bed. 
Logically I know his self-control was just used up and he was over tired but for fucks sakes child just go to sleep and we’ll all be happier.
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