If I make a list of rules for movie night such as:
My five year old will see that and say “Why yes mother, you are correct. I will change my behavior forthwith. So sorry for the inconvenience.” … Right?
(Bahaha the ad is for wine. Well played ad bot except my drink is rum.)
Or maybe the power of suggestion will be too strong to resist.
Yeah, I recently read something that you should tell kids what they should do and not what they shouldn’t do, because you might give them ideas. Like if you say don’t hit your sister, they are immediately going to hit their sister, where is it might not of occurred to them otherwise.
I don’t know if that just applies to the young toddler age range, but I’ve definitely noticed that it’s true. If I say don’t poke the dog in the face, the dog is definitely getting poked in the face.
It’s definitely true in dog training and dogs said to be are cognitively similar to 2-3 yo humans 
Instead of no, you ask for an behavior that’s incompatible with the thing you don’t want (ie sit instead of no jumping or lunging, watch me instead of no barking).
I’m currently reading Hunt, Gather, Parent and just read a few chapters on Inuit social norms and parenting. Apparently they hardly every use the word ‘don’t’ and instead just discuss consequences. So instead of ‘don’t hit the dog’ they might say ‘you’re going to hurt the dog’ and leave it at that? I’ll be honest it wasn’t clear exactly how to translate that down to the under 2 crowd but it’s been interesting to think about over the past few days.
We hardly ever use “dont” with Latte. If she’s doing something dangerous, like walking on a tall bench at the playground, I’ll just ask her “do you feel safe?” Or “notice the edge there”. Or if she’s hitting the dog, I’ll just say “please use soft hands, the dog likes it when you pet her body” and I’ll help her pet her body. The only time I ever use the word no really is if she’s doing something outright dangerous like trying to play with something that’s plugged into the wall. I’ll say no, move her, and then explain why I did it. Otherwise, at this age there’s not really a heck of a lot of self regulation, so I don’t really see the point either
Plus I don’t like it when someone’s always telling me what not to do, I much prefer if somebody tells me what they want me to do when I can sort out the rest. I feel like it’s like whitelisting versus blacklisting in programming. I’ve just blacklisted a few behaviors for her, and I’ll let her sort out the rest on her own. Natural consequences will teach her faster than I will. With a heckuva lot fewer tantrums is my hope. that’s my theory anyway, we’ll see how it holds up.
On “I also don’t like when someone tells me what but to do”, a few years ago I read “how to talk so little kids will listen” and also Dale Carnegie “win friends and influence people” and, uh, there were a lot of parallels lol.
I started reading how to talk so little kids will listen and kept thinking “I feel like this would also work on adults…” I really should finish that book.
We’ve been weaning gradually for the past couple weeks and I love it. I’m BFing first thing in the morning and pumping once around 1pm and again around 9p. Formula in between. Now that he’s in childcare this is working for my mental health & our family logistics much better than pumping every 3 hours, but I still get to snuggle him first thing in the morning and he still gets some covid antibodies. I did notice that I’m only getting 1-2oz now per pump, versus 3-4 before.
Is this level of partial weaning sustainable? Or does milk production tend to be all-or-nothing, and I should expect this to dwindle?
I know a couple people who it has been more “all or nothing”, but it seems quite rare. Most people seem to be able to go to 1-2 nursing sessions a day and keep their supply, unless they have meds or medical conditions that interfere. It’s common with extended BFing to keep just a bed time nurse, for example, for many months. That being said, it DOES seem more common for your body to stop responding as well to the pump over time and with fewer feeds. My pump yields went to crap sometime between 10-14 months roughly?
Thanks @Bracken_Joy, I thought you might have a handle on this!
My body can handle making as much or little milk as my baby wants directly, but laughs at pumps and refuses to give up the milk, unless I am engorged and body wasn’t expecting it.
People who’ve moved with a baby or toddler…how? Why?
People who’ve moved with housemate relatives who are cluttered almost hoarders, how? Why?
Why- Riding out a pandemic in an apartment with no outdoor space and a baby sucked.
How- family help (for the actual move part), flexible spouse job for packing etc- he’d often take work calls while walking the baby in a nearby cemetery so I could pack a box.
The move was horrible, messy, and a ton of our shit got broken. It was made easier by being a short distance, and moving from a small space into a big one. It took months to unpack, and normally we unpack within a WEEK (we move constantly, we’re normally really good at it lol).
With a messy partner… I have no idea, I’m sorry. It’s hard AF as is.
We moved from Miami to Pittsburgh with a 5yo and a 10 month old for dh’s job. How? Um, he and the rest of the lab flew up for a weekend and he rented a (rather awful) apartment. That was actually the only one of our many moves where we had professional movers - they came in and packed and took it all away and then dumped it all in the new place.
We only lived in that apartment the one year and then found something better, so rented a truck and moved it all again.
We moved from Pittsburgh to Youngstown the week our youngest turned 2yo. My parents came and helped, but basically - rent a truck and drive back and forth.
Moving is always horrible.
As far as clearing out the accumulation, welcome to my current project, only I’ve got stuff from our family homes + my (grown) kids stuff + our own junk.
I’m never moving textbooks across country again, though.
Yeah, last year with a barely mobile baby was hard enough. And this year will be two or three moves (staging, sold, move)
@cranky I have my stuff reduced. But partner needs to declutter and the other two households we live with are cluttered. So 
Ha, ha. My dh is not decluttering. He’s busy wringing his hands over the sorry state of the university and moaning that he wishes we were done moving. Yes, indeed.
Moved with a 10 month old because we bought a house. We moved about 5km and had a LOT of family help. I got nuthin’ on the hoarders though. We have too much stuff but just made a few trips with the truck we hired.
Moved with a two year old two cats and a Norfolk pine tree halfway across the country. Why, for film industry, but also just to live somewhere different.
How, with a 1979 station wagon and a U-Haul trailer and studded tires for mountain passes and about 100 bucks cash for snacks at gas stations on the way.
Moved house because we bought with a 6 month old. Just paid for professional removalists - worth every cent. Moved about 1.5km away. Although we aren’t particularly hoardy and have seriously flirted with minimalism before (before kids that is). Oh and it probably helped we moved house 18 months before that.