Uh well my 3 yo does wait sometimes and shoves sometimes. We literally split our loungeroom in half with a fence to separate the kids though because my older has a very strong need for solo play time. I cant remember if or when she started being less grabby. There’s also a 4y age gap that helps, so a smaller age gap might need a bit more coaching/ intervention.
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hmmm - I honestly can’t remember? I do know from the time the baby could toddle, I’d cut a banana in half at snack time and “one for you and one for your [sister/brother].” Chuck, at ten, ate a lot of slightly mushy half bananas that J1 shared with her. J1 was a lot less discerning at three when J2 started sharing with them.
But otherwise, I think just a lot of narration. “nope, your brother is playing with that toy right now. look at all these other toys we have? would you like to build a tower?”
whoever ‘had it first’ got to play until they were finished. I don’t recall any spite playing (ie, continuing to play with the toy so that the sibling couldn’t get it), but I could see that happening
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So this is the approach we do at the park and with our playgroup neighborhood friends. It’s my plan for the girls (and technically what we do now, although at 7 mon she’s just happy to be here lol). Anyway, Latte will sometimes spite swing to keep another kid off- that’s when I go be Very Interesting somewhere else. Indirect intervention for the desired goal 
saves a lot of headache since if she’s being a stubborn shit already, she’s LOOKING to battle. So I just go and try to find a frog or make a daisy chain or something.
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My youngest has definitely understood from at least 18 months and probably sooner. Like they still might tantrum when it’s time to switch, but it’s fine.
We also have found that 9/10 times with taking turns after 1 turn each one kid is not interested. The other times I extend turn length of time.
One of my kids is extremely rigid in how he plays and I cannot/will not allow every toy in the house to be blocking every surface and piece of floor where the slightest gust of change will “destroy” his creation (“it’s not a creation it’s a “) and then destroy our days. He doesn’t want to play all alone often and never wants his untouchable objects in their designated spots. We’re glacially working on protecting toys he’s playing with IF I know what he’s playing with - i.e in the general vicinity of the toys, not every single toy out - put away what isn’t in use.
Lots of no snatching but now we try again situations with snatching or too rough if it won’t traumatize the other.
I will let you know in 15 years if it works. Star seems to be onto good stuff
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Yeahhhh all those years are kind of a blur. Maybe age 2? I just remember that when LB turned 2 everything was much easier and they were better able to play together (and BB was potty trained, etc.).
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This gives me hope @ellep! Just this week it seems like TR is understanding more words so hopefully it will keep accelerating.
For a while it was really peaceful, but now they’re much more interested in the same things and TR in particular is insulted when we give him baby toys now. Honestly 3 out of 4 times they work it out pretty well.
@ladyduck It does seem like physical separation helps sometimes, I’ll have to keep it in mind more. Tonight we told Spore that if he wanted to take the push walker for a spin outside he should do it while TR was still eating dinner. He happily came back and announced that he was all done with it. And later, he said “I want some alone time but when I’m done I’ll be ready to play with TR again.”
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When I was running errands yesterday the radio aggressively reminded me that mothers day is coming up (in the US at least). What are people planning to do or ask for for that? Or father’s day if you have anything for that.
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I asked my husband for Harry and David truffles and he has already purchased them 
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I want to go camping. And get flowers.
Maybe I buy my mum a planter. Or go with her to a garden centre.
I do not want to go to an overcrowded restaurant
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Mother’s Day and my birthday are a few days apart so I’m taking a day off from work to spend by myself.
Not entirely sure what I’m going to do yet but it will definitely involve getting a massage and eating at a nice restaurant with a book.
The kids* will “make” me something cute I’m sure.
*the very amazing daycare teachers will make me something cute with the kids handprints and/or photos.
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I loved all the art the daycare teachers make/help with. I took photos of all the cute day care art and incorporated the photos into the wallpaper rotation of my work computer.
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I’ll be managing an exhausted husband and kids after a 3 day vacation with my in-laws. Might take the Monday to watch TV and eat snacks.
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B2 has decided his favourite potty is the potette, a travel potty like the oxo one which needs a plastic grocery bag. B1 helpfully gets it for him.
Without a bag it is a disaster. With a bag I’ll run out of bags in a week and it is an environmental disaster. Any ideas?
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I asked for time. A couple of weeks ago I made plans to go mountain biking with some local mom friends. We’ll all get home in time for a late lunch with the families, probably.
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I would be inclined to buy more bags enough to last 3-4 weeks to get everything going well. Then a week before you run out of bags start prepping that conversation. “When we run out of bags you’ll need to choose a different potty!” And put that one away.
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It won’t last forever. At one point my daughter would be in underwear until she needed to potty and then asked for a diaper. So we were going through multiple diapers with a single pee in them in one day for a while. Then she sat on the toilet at daycare. Then at home. Done.
If it’s just pee, I’d probably rinse and reuse the bags and make sure everyone (including helpful older brother) washes hands afterward.
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I have a cry of the heart as much as a question.
WHAT COMES AFTER BABY GATES?
We feel that their days are numbered. Cuckoo is trying to climb them (unsuccessfully, as they are mesh) and they have been coming loose from the walls. The Boy tightens them but they loosen again. She is 21 months old.
We have tried having the gates open with a few strategic cabinets safety-locked. It… is not good. She takes out trash from the recycling bin. She takes everything out of drawers and is just generally in the way. She knocks over the broom and picks up the cat’s food bowl and chases him with it.
Obviously this is 100% normal toddler behavior but also it suuuuucks and creates so much more conflict when one is trying to cook or whatever. I hate being short with her!
Please someone tell me this is going to be OK!
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Friends who had a very tall and unruly toddler did:
- baby locks on every cabinet and drawer
- knives never left out ever (he could reach onto the countertops at 2 years old
) - generally everything put away
- cat bowl high up
It has gotten better, and he meddles with so much less now.
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It is super hard and you have to watch them like a hawk and everything you don’t want them to touch is up high. We have shelves on the bathroom walls above the toilets specifically for this reason. Bathroom trash had to be up high for SO LONG. Trash and recycling were kept in the garage at our old house, then in a locked cabinet that was made for them at this house. All cabinets have locks except for the one big cabinet with their plastic plates and things that they are allowed to pull out and play with, and we just dealt with picking it all up multiples times per day after they pulled it all out.
We have had weird shelves up by the ceiling in lots of rooms of our house because of this. I totally understand how bad it sucks 
On the bright side, D2 figured out how to behave herself and not touch/dump out/get herself into trouble with stuff at a much younger age than D1. D1 still doesn’t have enough impulse control most of the time. So hopefully the cuckoo figures it out sooner too!
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Adding on, our approach to this was to prevent the child from being in a situation where we would have to tell them “no” and then cause conflict. So our solution was everything locked up and anything that can’t be locked up is super high. If something was in their reach, they were allowed to touch/play with/etc
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