There’s a FB page called Car Seat Safety for the Littles (also a web site) that has a lot of info about things like headrests, seatbelt overlap and inflatable seatbelts. The latter two are problematic and removable ones will make your life easier.
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How can I help my toddler grow more confident with new environments and people?
Spore will be 3 in October. We’ve noticed he’s a bit more on the introverted end of the spectrum. With a handful of friends, teachers, babysitters he loves he’ll jump and shout, but with new people or new environments he’ll stick close the entire time. For example, we went to a 2nd birthday party yesterday and although he was one of the older kids there he was also among the clingiest.
I don’t want to change who he is, but I do want to help him get more comfortable and be less afraid in new situations. He switched daycares recently, for example, and is really upset at dropoff and taking longer to adjust than the other, slightly older kid who also made the transition. We’ve picked up a few tips like not using the label “shy”, etc. and try to mix in social time with friends he knows well, but could also use some more ideas. Any thoughts?
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No direct advice but my very outgoing kid who had been at the same daycare his whole life had a months long span of clingy drop offs. Just mentioning that in case you continue to have issues, it could be a known cause or it could be the alignment of the planets. Hopefully others have actual advice to try though.
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With my eldest we just keep his routine as close to the same as possible every day, to provide support, and made a picture checklist of what happens in the morning he could follow along as we got ready.
For new experiences, we give him as much support as we can. We look at the map to get somewhere, we look up photos of a place so he’s familiar before we go, we talk about who is going to be at an event, we let him cling as much as he wants but we might go do an interesting kid activity so he can watch us do it while he’s clinging. For school swimming lessons recently there were meltdowns until we took him ourselves and he could get used to the pool they were using without his classmates all over the place.
Some of these may help, some will be maturity, you may need some other ideas.
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@meerkat @ladyduck Thank you both! I like the idea of sharing details about what’s happening and who will be there beforehand. Maybe even get him to come up with some ideas before we get there.
Speaking of swimming, he loved swimming last summer, but is more timid about getting in this year. (“It’s too wet”) I’d really like to teach him to swim for safety reasons, especially since it gets so dang hot here in summers. We’ve had good luck splashing in shallow creeks, or he’ll sit at the edge of the pool and kick his feet. Probably more of that, and/or more of the toddler water play classes he liked last winter, is in order for him to get comfortable again.
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Book reccs for that- “when you can swim” and “bubbles up”
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Oh and I just got and read and approve “our pool” also.
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Aaand now my browser just served up this incredibly wholesome article about a 102 year old woman who’s teaching baby swimming at the YMCA (in Oregon!). What a delight.
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Late to this discussion but a checklist also really helped Pipsqueak when she had school apprehension. She also got to pick a special stuffed animal each morning to take with her on the way to school.
Are you walking/biking to school? If so, maybe you can go slowly one morning and stop to let spore take pictures of various landmarks that you pass along the way and get them printed into a little booklet? That way on the way to school he can focus on looking for the landmarks rather than the impending doom or dropoff.
I’m personally not opposed to the word “shy” as long as it’s a feeling and not a label. We definitely say “oh, you’re feeling shy, I feel that way too sometimes” or “looks like he’s feeling a bit shy, let’s give him some space while he gets used to the environment”.
When we had a school transition in June we acknowledged the sad/nervous feelings and talked about ways to feel better during the day. “If you feel sad at dropoff, what are some things to try? Maybe…find a friend and show them the shirt you picked out? Maybe…find a book to read until [favorite teacher] arrives?” And we talked a lot about the schedule “after naptime, you’ll have snacks inside! Then it will be time to play in the yard! Do you think you’ll ride bikes in the yard today? Do you think you’ll play in the sand? Mom is going to pick you up from the yard today, I’m so excited to hear about your day!”
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A question of my own:
Pipsqueak has consistently been saying she wants to get a haircut and she wants short hair “like daddy” (he has a longer hairstyle but it’s definitely f shorter than chin-length.)
I’d like to shower her some pictures of kids her age with similar looks (light brown, slightly curly hair) at different lengths so she can visualize and pick out what she wants.
I’m pretty confident this approach will work with her personality, but I have no idea where to find photos. My googling leads to either “20 haircuts for toddler boys” or “20 cute hairstyles for girls” which isn’t helpful!
ETA: current hair length:
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Ask in a large Facebook group maybe? I feel like crowdsourcing might be the only way to achieve that.
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Hmm ok, neither spouse or I are on Facebook unfortunately.
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How old is she? I can check for some pics of Duckling with longer hair about the same age.
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She’s almost 3 
WHAT? How?
I know!! 
Her battle cry is “I can do that all by myself, mommy!” (And she’s usually right)
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This story is so endearing and made me laugh! I know it was weeks ago, but it reminded me of my childhood. We are carribean and so the jokes fly freely and lovingly and my childhood I can remember clear as day, “Hey. Hey Meowkins, guess what?” “What?” “You’re not made of glass.” Or someone saying with a laugh, “Well, I’d love to see what’s happening but Meowkins big head is in the way. When did your head get so big?!”
It was applied indiscriminately to all adults and kids, which helped, since we could all see it modeled. Not lighthearted ribbing, but reminding people to be conscientious as well haha. Results may vary LOL.
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At my mandatory short notice newborn appointment so I could get out of the hospital, baby had lost more than 10% of her birth weight and they put me on a really aggressive feeding schedule (every 2 hours, breastfeed and supplement 30 ml and bonus points if you pump as well).
I know some (I think @Bracken_Joy ) have had this happen with their babies. Any notes? I don’t even know what to ask I’m just so tired and overwhelmed at the idea of this and the risk of her not passing whatever they are looking for on Monday (next check of weight).
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Ooof triple feeds are brutal, I’m sorry.
One- partner washes all the pump parts. And decants them. Literally just shove in into mason jars in the fridge so it doesn’t fall over and partner or support person should do the rest.
Coconut oil inside the pump shields. Sock over the bottle so you don’t see what you pump, helps your brain a lot.
Someone else give the bottle from the previous pump as you pump and then you go sleep immediately.
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