Try Pampers pure.
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I think partially that’ll depend on the preschool, maybe talk to them? If they’re open to doing check ins (which seems super reasonable, idk) then it sounds like it would be a good time to try undies.
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Our preschool for ahead of the problem by having all the kids go potty on a schedule. Something like play, snack, potty, books, potty before going outside, outside, lunch, potty, nap, etc. They’d have every kid go. They had multiple small toilets, a teacher or two was on hand to help with butt wiping and clothing as needed, and the kids just lined up. They never go to long without a chance to go and there’s peer (heh, pee-r) pressure to actually use the toilet when it’s their turn.
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I would send them. 2-5 outfit changes. Explain to the teacher that you are at x weeks (exaggerate if necessary) without accidents at home and on outings. The school should take the kids potty regularly (our daycare was hourly, current nursery school is at transitions).
It doesn’t sound like more time will make your kid more trained, so just jump in. I think it will all work out.
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Try next size up? We’ve had good luck with Millie Moon (recent-ish brand from Target) too.
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This has been a big problem for us. When B is at home for a long stretch of time we get her totally potty trained, but then she wears a pullup at school and has a big regression during the week. She was sick last week so she has been home for 11 days now and she is finally back to not having any accidents at home for the past 2 days. Her preschool will not prompt her to use the toilet or ask her if she needs to. They also don’t ask her if she has had an accident unless it is obvious that she has peed through her clothing. So, we are kind of stuck using the pull-ups until she is fully, fully trained but then she pees in them at school with no consequences and regresses again.
We need to get her over the hump she is at now. At home we are only using underpants and dealing with the mess when it happens, or naked - we give her the choice at home and there is never an accident while naked - but she obvs can’t be naked at school. I think she has confusion between the pull-ups and underpants so when she wears the pull-ups at school she pees and it is fine, so then at home in underpants she just pees. I think if we had another week at home (without a regression) we might get her solid enough with the underpants that she can wear them at school. At this point I am a bit resigned to the fact that we will probably be in this state of flux until summer break. I will definitely do everything to make sure she is 100% potty trained when she returns to school in August (of course acknowledging her developmental disabilities and that this may be more out of my control than I want to think).
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That seems bananas to me. They’re little kids! They’re learning a new skill about listening to their bodies!
I’m with you in that we had to wait till summer break for Kiddo to be 100% on potty training though just due to school/daycare/home schedule nonsense. He could have been potty trained sooner than that, but how much sooner I’ll never know.
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I know! It is crazy to me. There are usually 2 teachers in the room for 16 kids and they are all 3-5 years old. For the 3, 4, and 5 year olds who don’t have an IEP they are required to be fully potty trained. The ones with an IEP are not. There was lots of discussion about “we meet the child where they are on their journey” from the special ed department, but then the teachers don’t actually do that. They all have to sit on the potty when their first come into the room, but that is the only structured time when they have everyone sit and try, which is actually not helpful for B because we make her sit and try before leaving the house, so she literally just tried 10-15 minutes earlier.
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Do you think she would continue to have confusion if you put on undies then the pull up over? I don’t know if that would work, but it would contain any messes while still giving her the sensation of being wet?
It is crazy to me that the school doesn’t prompt - they are little kids! My kids when they were in Jk / Sk (4-5 years old) were regularly prompted by the teachers!
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That sounds so frustrating! Our daycare gives kids a potty watch (it’s literally shaped like a🚽 and comes in fun colors) that goes off every 30 mins, when they’ll ask if they need to go or have them try. I wonder if kiddo could get used to something like that at home, and then use it to remind themselves at school? (Though given the preschool setup it also seems like the plan of waiting until summer to solidify makes sense too.)
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This is what we do at home anytime she puts on a pullup. If she chooses the pullup then there are undies underneath. Or if we go out of the house we do a pullup with undies under it. At school though she usually sits in the same wet pullup all day without being changed, so I’m worried if we do that at school she will get a rash. On Fridays her speech teacher is in the classroom with her and on Fridays her pullup gets changed. I don’t know why but she is willing to tell her that she needs to be changed, but she won’t tell the other teachers.
Before she started school she had a potty watch. She was wearing it on the day that we visited the classroom and met her teachers. They said it was such a great idea. Then she wore it to school on her first day and I got a talking to from the teacher about how it is distracting for the other kids and it might be good at home but it was not allowed at school. So much for that! All of the kids had been playing with it too and it was broken. I haven’t bought another one.
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That’s exactly what I was thinking- I would send one just because it’s absolutely inappropriate the teachers aren’t helping and at worst it would annoy them and that would bring me joy 
and at best it would help B.
Latte’s preschool teachers check with the kids at any transition points in their day and they’re literally in the woods sitting on logs and stuff.
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that is so, incredibly, frustrating.
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Your nursery school is really not meeting her where she is.
At home and outings we do a lot better naked or with pants and no underwear. He goes to school with pants and no underwear, but if he needs to be changed they put on underwear (first few weeks they sometimes gave up and did a pull up too).
Underwear seems to feel too much like a pull up
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We ended up going to school with underwear and pants - we will see how it goes. They have him go as soon he gets to school and then I think they ask at snack an hour later. But I think if doesn’t start now he will definitely regress.
There’s always spring break in April to give him a long stretch without school.
But I feel like it’s not too much to ask that if we’ve done everything we can at home and it’s about consistency then we just have to try at school.
HB is the one who does drop off and pick up so he is more reluctant because he hates confrontation and embarrassment and the school is not being super supportive.
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Ugh I’m sorry your school and @Economista ’s are not being supportive. We’re also at a ratio of 8:1 kids to teachers at 3, but our daycare has been incredibly supportive. Their only requirement is that he has to wear underwear (to keep the poop contained ), but other than that they roll with the accidents. There was a period of time when they would regularly send 4-5 pairs of wet pants home at the end of the day.
We’ve struggled with potty training and it’s been ~9 months now. My 3-year-old is fully capable but isn’t bothered by wet underwear so if he’s busy playing 
. We bribe for poops and that has worked well (the books all say don’t bribe but our daycare teacher gently suggested bribing and it’s worked great).
They put all the kids on the potty at regular intervals and that has cut down on the accidents. My 3 year old fights us when we try to do this but is incredibly compliant at school, probably due to peer pressure.
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I agree, some of these preschools suck.
BB’s daycare teachers were not only very patient with potty training (which I started WAY too early in a way that made a lot of extra work for them!), they even taught him to pee standing up 
. I’ll never forget the family vacation when he was 3 and his cousin was almost 4 but had never been to daycare/preschool and didn’t know how to pee standing up. We had this secluded deck where we would let the boys play naked in a wading pool. BB walked over to the edge of the deck and relieved himself off the edge. Within like 12 hours, his cousin had learned to do the same!
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Update: no pee accidents, but did poop in his pants. I think it’s because he can pee pretty easily at scheduled check-ins, but that doesn’t work for poop. So tonight at dinner we practiced saying “potty please” and then going to the potty. They didn’t scold us so we’ll keep trying to go with pants/underwear on our end. He has a speech delay so it might require some extra encouragement.
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They have a ratio of 2 teachers: 10 kids at this preschool.
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(If you’re up for adding one more thing) Could a little bit of sign language help here? As long as everyone’s on the same page that a certain gesture means “potty” it will still serve as communication. Kiddo is in second grade and they actually have to sign to the teacher if they have to go potty instead of raising their hands and waiting to be called on so it’s not just a baby sign thing. (The sign they use is not actually sign language for potty 
but whatever.)
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