I may have picked a doula, but I’m waffling. The ones I’m talking to are part of a group where they offer their services as a collective, or they can offer services individually.
Because booking with the collective means no one has to be continuously available for the month around when you deliver, the price is substantially lower - 895 including multiple childbirth and other prep classes, vs an absolute bare minimum of 1075 to book with one of the doulas individually (this particular package has fewer meetings and classes included).
The doula I met with today I was super on the same page with. I felt listened to, respected, and understood. The doula I was going to go with last Pregnancy I liked, but I kind of booked her in part because she had one spot left for the month and I was panicked about losing it. I didn’t feel any pressure from the doula today, and I just felt like we clicked better on philosophy.
Buuut her package is $1395. All the same stuff as with the group, but basically paying an extra $500 for a near-guarantee that she’ll be at my birth unless she has a personal emergency or in the rare event of someone else who personally hired her going into labor just before me - she keeps bookings spread out to minimize the chances of this happening. If she couldn’t make it one of the other doulas from the group would be her back up anyway.
Otherwise there’s no choice between the doulas even if they are all in town, it’s the doula on call.
I’m meeting with the two I haven’t met yet from the group who expect to be in the on call rotation for the times I’m most likely to give birth tomorrow and Saturday. But assuming I like them, but not as much, I’m stuck on whether to go with the single person or the group. With the group I have $500 for more classes, or more stuff for baby…
I had a growth ultrasound scheduled and I didn’t check the location - I automatically assumed that it was where I had my growth ultrasounds last pregnancy. I didn’t realize until I tried to check in.
At least Kaiser didn’t charge me for a missed appointment and the nurse rescheduled me for next week.
snow storm means my ultrasound tomorrow has been rescheduled for Tuesday. It’s for the best really, this is the best odds of Latte being in school and SirB being able to come too, but sucks to have to wait!
I met doula #2 (3? I dunno the second one I met with this round but the third I’ve met with overall) and it was what, not a vibe as the kids say?
First off unvaccinated which, mmm not a green flag.
Second like, was too much like me? Like we had some great conversation but it was like two people as pinballs bouncing around and I felt myself getting wound up and my anxious energy get fed into despite the calming nature of the info she was given, rather than calmed and gently accepted yet directed with the other doula. I came away feeling like, she’s fun but um, maybe I don’t want another me in the labor room?
Good Doppler today, even though baby kept squirming away from it every time doc caught the heartbeat. But that’s good, lots of movement! Maybe I’m not imagining the vague flutters.
I’m in an beautiful moment of not feeling like crap, and want to take advantage of the lucidity. What are the big picture life admin things I need to figure out before any future baby gets here? So far:
where to deliver
childcare
wills and figuring out if we need life insurance?
specific to us: changing last names to new made up merged name (think, Chen + Zelensky becomes Chelensky)
Any family-specific boundaries you want to discuss and establish prior to a potential clash? We for example don’t want our kid’s face or name shared on Facebook, which we really need to establish with Facebook -obsessed MIL prior.
I’ve been having pretty bad round ligament pain, but yesterday it went from “when I cough or sneeze” to just “always there.” I might try out the pregnancy support belt I got off my Buy Nothing group, because my doctor said that might help.
Also feeling weird about my body. I go back and forth between “I’m showing too much so early” and “I don’t know if my body has changed at all.”
I don’t know if this is helpful at all with the body feels but IME as a person with a long and distinguished pregnancy history, IME how early one shows is unrelated to: starting weight, weight gain, pregnancy health, or anything else.
snow storm means my ultrasound tomorrow has been rescheduled for Tuesday. It’s for the best really, this is the best odds of Latte being in school and SirB being able to come too, but sucks to have to wait!
