NO TRUE ARTIST EVER LET EGO IN THE WAY OF IMPROVEMENT. RISE ABOVE YOURSELF!
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Spectators and competitors, I am pleased to announce the coming of an exciting new culinary show. One that rises above the mundane and celebrates the sublime! Coming this fall to this network, a tour of the most cutting edge and avant garde food communities in North America and Europe!
Stay tuned!
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AND WELCOME BACK!
Wow, that was a lot to digest. But it does make one hard decision very easy!
@Smacky has decided to leave the contest to pursue other endeavours (coming this fall to this network) and won’t be participating further in OMD Top Iron Master Chef. We wish her the very best and who knows, she might come back as a guest judge in the future.
@Smacky the tribe has spoken, you are the weakest link, goodbye.
However, that does mean we don’t need to do an ELIMINATIONING. Congratulations to our remaining contestants. I look forward to seeing what culinary triumphs you create in the next round.
Thanks for watching everyone and catch you next week. Or right now if you’re binge watching this on Netflix.
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Welcome back everyone to the second round of OMD Top Iron Master Chef! The tv show where OMD’s top chefs battle to find out who is the OMD Top Iron Master Chef!
But first, let’s recap a dramatic first round. We had a wide range of responses to our cauliflower battle - from the sublime to the subpar. Judges seemed to need the cauliflower to be featured and star in the dish. Weird. Emotions ran high and a contestant ran off.
Let’s hope round two delivers the same level of the excitement.
Without further ado, and any consultation with my lovely co-host @Meowkins, I give you this round’s theme.
I ask you, who is the harshest critic in the kitchen? A spouse? An in law? A sibling? No.
Who will dump an entire plate of food on the ground with little to no provocation? Who will demand mono-colour dishes for months at a time?
It’s the toddler round! Bring on your best dish for a toddler.
Note: cooking FOR a toddler, not cooking A toddler. Just to be clear. In case there are any child eating witches in our contestants.
@Gdogg
@galliver
@diapasoun
@Elle
@LadyDuck
@Greyweld
@beep_boop
@AllHat
@brute
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Nice job avoiding a theme ingredient after the drama from last round! 
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CHALLENGE: feeding toddlers
CHEF: G-Dogg
Wel, well, well. Interesting. As a child-free person, this is not something with which I have personal experience. And it seems @Smacky was prescient in the 1st challenge entry!
Toddler fare - based on stories I have heard it sounds like it is always time for buttered noodles and chicken nuggets / tenders.
Buttered noodles
1 bag wide egg noodles
Salted water for boiling
Butter.
Bring salted water to boil, add noodles. Boil until done. Drain, add butter. Serve.
For adults it is easy to add grated Parmesan, cracked pepper, and some minced garlic for Cacio e Pepe.
Chicken Nuggets / tenders
Boneless skinless chicken breasts cut into nugget / tender sized pieces (alternatively use boneless skinless chicken thighs). Salt and pepper the pieces
Mix together:
Salt
Pepper
Poultry seasoning
Paprika
Flour
Corn starch
Corn meal
Coat the chicken pieces in the seasoned flour. Let rest so the coating absorbs any moisture. Coat the pieces again.
Pan fry over medium - mediums high heat in oil oil or other vegetable oil. Alternatively you can deep fry the pieces. Drain cooked nuggets / tenders on paper towels.
Enjoy.
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You hipsters today are so sensitive.
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Cancel culture!
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I mean I assume you were one once?
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Oh hello - back again so soon are you? Are you wanting some dinner again then- wait. Who is this? Hello! Hello, duck! Look at those little cheeks! And that curly hair - someone’s been eating their crusts, haven’t they! How old are you, then? No, let me guess. Two? What’s that? No, you’re three and a quarter? Such a grown up young man! You know, you’re just the same age as Tilly - that’s my Jack’s lass. I bet you’d like a lollipop, wouldn’t you? My daughter in law doesn’t like me giving her sugar, but I say a little sweetness never hurt anyone. It sure wouldn’t hurt her.
Anyway, come in, come in. I’ve got just the thing. I’ve got some bread dough on the go. How would you like to help me make it into pizzas?
- 200g plain flour
- 250ml warm water
- 1 tsp dried yeast
- Tomato puree or pizza sauce
- Sprinkling of oregano
- Grated cheese
- Various toppings to make your pizza face features, such as sliced peppers, olives, ham, pineapple, mushrooms, and sweet corn
- Preheat your oven to 180c/ gas mark 4.
- Mix together the yeast and water and leave the mixture in a warm place for 8 minutes.
- Mix in the flour and knead until it forms a firm dough.
- Dust a clean surface with flour, roll the dough out into a circle and bake it for 7 minutes.
- Spread your tomato puree or pizza sauce onto the cooked base and sprinkle it with cheese.
- Add topping in fun shapes
- Pop the pizzas back into the oven for another 7-10 minutes.
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The cancelling I’m worried about is if the FCC finds out I’m running a cannibal cooking show.
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Also taking volunteers for guest judges.
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Being a picky eater would have been a fast track to a spanking with my mom! If you could see me - you would see I have taken this lesson to heart!
Also, bags of frozen breaded chicken nuggets hadn’t been invented yet (though noodles and butter had been!)
I don’t remember what I ate, but I sm pretty sure it was whatever my mom decided to feed me.
In grade school I ate an inordinate number of tuna sandwiches for lunch.
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Name: Strega Nona
Age: Mind your manners
Occupation: Entrepreneur/Pasta Witch
Bio: I cook what I cook and people like it. If people don’t like what I cook they can find their own magical pot and carry their own goddamned bread around with no help from me. Now, sit down. It’s time to eat. That wasn’t a request.
Challenge: Kid Friendly Dinner
Four Colored Gnocchi with Marinara and Alfredo Dipping Sauce
I have cooked for thousands of children over hundreds of years. Their powerful rangers and boxes x might have changed, but their taste buds have not. Young children are likeliest to eat colorful foods they can grab with their paws. If you can provide the illusion of choice that is even better.
When in doubt, I make multicolored gnocchi for the children that show up unannounced on my front porch. First, I make the primary batch of dough using riced potatoes, egg, flour, and salt. I don’t measure anything because the dough speaks to me, just like the ghosts of my many dead husbands. Gnocchi tells you what it needs; if you shut up and listen.
Next, I split the loose dough into four equally sized portions. I add beetroot powder to one, pesto to another, and carrot powder to the third. The fourth I leave white as the underbelly of something with a white underbelly. You must work the dough thoroughly, until the color is rich and evenly distributed, or else what are we even doing here?
Lastly, you must roll the dough into snakes and then cut it into pieces about the 3/4 size of a wine cork. I assume you’re all lushes so you can understand this reference. Press each side of each gnocchi with a fork. You may boil the gnocchi together but I recommend cooking them by color. It is wise to reserve some alfredo and marinara sauce to serve alongside the gnocchi because children love dipping things into sauce.
Gnocchi are easy to make ahead and freeze, and they cook in about 4 minutes. That’s it!
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Great entries so far. I know this judge’s toddler would be happy with being served up any of them.
But…are our contestants challenging themselves enough?
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For this sort of event, I think it’s important to prep a few options.
First, a nutritious plate with rice, cucumbers, tandoori fish, dhal and blueberries.
Second, the mixed plate with rice, dhal, really spicy palak paneer and a cucumber raita.
Third, I wash and save colourful food packaging, so I’ll put roasted potatoes in the McDonald’s packet, homemade hummus in a mini prepackaged hummus container, and reinsert fresh cheese into a babybell wax. I fill a Timmy’s cup with water. Then I put this on the far edge of the table and am very clear that it is not dinner and it’s not allowed.
Finally, we have farmstead premium cat food and a bowl of water on the floor.
Judges, do your best to find something you’ll eat. There’s also bananas and tiny nectarines which you’re welcome to call appo
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This tells me I have a picky eater…
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Not my official entry, but we skipped afternoon nap, played too much in the sun and ate out all afternoon. So we’re watching meet the chimps and I gave him a whole banana.
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Ahhh, excellent dishes so far, chefs!
I’m wondering the same, PDM. What makes the perfect toddler dish in your mind?
For me, a toddler dish must be attractive, easy to eat for pudgy fingers and poor coordination, a mixture of the familiar and the exotic, and a huge serving of mind games.
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