For anyone who hasn’t seen Wreck It Ralph and the sequel, go do it now!
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Buddy the Elf, is that you?
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You love veal? You monster.
I do agree though - lots of interesting dishes to consider here. I just can’t help wondering, did some contestants not do enough to be safe from THE ELIMINATIONING?
Did any of the dishes really let the cauliflower shine?
I think that’s is key for me when judging. I need to feel a connection with the dish. I need the flavours to make me saw ‘wow’. I need the theme ingredient to speak to me.
Lets take a quick break for these messages from our sponsors while our judges compare notes and taste each dish.
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Ad break:
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I mean I coulda dusted it in gold instead but I don’t think it would taste very good.
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damn that Coles ad is a thing
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I do believe it is actually Status Quo singing a reworked version of their 1975 hit Down Down.
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ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! I’m quite full and delighted after trying each one of these dishes, but what I am most pleased by is the sheer range of talent and innovation in this spread. Truly, some of the best chefs in the industry here tonight.
Which just makes it even more imperative that everyone’s dishes are perfect.
I’ll get the nasty business out of the way – my least favorite dish. This isn’t to say it is without skill, but this is a cooking contest, after all, and I have to rank things. Here it is: Smacky’s Interpretation of Cauliflower.
As I said, this involved a great deal of skill, an intuitive understanding of the intricacies of cauliflower. You truly understood and captured what cauliflower could be, left us all at the edge of out seats… and then, went so far avante garde that you didn’t meet the brief. You aren’t the first chef to do so and you won’t be the last, but keep your meals grounded in good food and you’ll be able to support your lofty ideals.
I have to do a runner up here, for sheer spunk and the edginess of youth. Runner up is: Lady Duck. Lady Duck didn’t shy away from highlighting cauliflower and she paired it with a daring companion - caterpillars! We’ll all be eating bugs eventually if the planet keeps on like this, and it’s impressive to see a relatively novice chef jumping in with both (webbed) feet.
And now, for my favorite dish of the night. I have to say, it was tough. So many dishes were delicious. But for me it came down to was making the flavor and texture of cauliflower stand out, not just making a delicious dish or using a fancy technique. And for that, my favorite is… galliver!
Of course, though, I am just one judge. I hand it over to my delightful co-host, @PDM.
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So honored, so flattered!
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Thanks @Meowkins. Some good points you raise there. Everyone did so well and should be proud of their efforts. I wish we could make you all winners but that isn’t how cooking shows work.
Broadly speaking the theme ingredient was used well but I am left wondering if it could have had more focus? It was the cauliflower round after all.
Firstly I’d like to address the elephant in the room. Or rather the baby cow in @AllHat’s dish. I have to draw the line somewhere and eating those baby cows is it. Really @AllHat? Veal? On national tv? I know you’re a witch but stick to eating small children.
Secondly, one dish disappeared up its own arse in an esoteric philosophical journey into nonsense. @Smacky, I’m just a simple cook at heart and I just wasn’t onboard with your dish.
Thirdly, @Elle you may have a drinking problem. I’m going to keep my eye on you and get you help if you need it.
Ok, so now who excelled? A couple of chefs did less to achieve more. @galliver and @LadyDuck both created dishes that let the theme ingredient speak.
But as I said earlier I’m a simple man. And one dish reached deep into my soul and gave me a warm cheesy hug. @beep_boop’s comforting wholesome country farmhouse cooking was my favourite.
So, there you have it folks. During these messages from our sponsors, our judges will confer and let you know what comes next
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Eee, Thanks very much pet! I’m glad you enjoyed your dinner - I’ll pop a portion in a Tupperware for you to take home with you, and you’re welcome here any time!
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WHAT? YOU BASIC BITCHES WOULDN’T KNOW ARTISTIC EXPRESSION IF IT BIT YOU IN THE ASS.
I didn’t realize this was a competition to see who could be the most populist and pedestrian.
You can’t fire me if I QUIT
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producers scramble
@Smacky now let’s not do anything rash. You did get a fair bit of criticism for your dish but I think you’re the kind of contestant we need in this competition. I’d like you to stay.
Ultimately the decision is yours but please reconsider.
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What will happen next? Will @Smacky stay? Who will be going to the Eliminationing? Stay tuned?
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You may have your producers contact my agent. I may agree to stay if we come to an understanding.
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No I don’t think that’s how this works. Either you want to be a part of this competition and all that it entails or you don’t. You decide. I need to consider the other contestants who didn’t have a temper tantrum at bad feedback and rage quit.
I care about the brand that is OMD Top Iron Master Chef. And the show is the more important than one contestant.
Also, the show wins either way - great drama if you quit. Great drama if you stay. I can already see the promos we’ll be running all week.
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Don’t sass me, young man.
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Quack. I know for a fact he eats baby sheep.
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