Ok my last post was seven hours ago and now I feel shittier. Complaints:
• I’ve got this like completely irredeemable spot and my upper abdomen, lower than the incisions and I can’t tell if it’s like a digestive knot, my ribs, or what, but it’s like a 2 inch spot and it is so incredibly painful - ugh.
• My stomach is so bloated. Ugh. It hurts even just if my shirt brushes it.
• It’s very hard to keep my ankles from blowing up. I basically have to keep them elevated at all times or be walking.
• I can’t visit the chickens. I can’t wrestle with my pets. I knocked like five things over, trying to get my Triscuits in the kitchen with my grabber tool because they were inaccessible. I can’t do any labor projects and I’ve basically reached the bottom of the Internet already plus my temper is short so it’s not a great time to work on pet pantry stuff virtually either (I’m getting really annoyed any time someone messages me about the pantries - I’m SO incredibly thankful for the help but my bad mood wants to know why they can’t just figure it out themselves, even just for one week. Just one week. So I know I’m too burnt out to deal with it right now, sigh).
Thank you for listening to my complaints, I’ll be totally fine.
Thx for checking in! My bowels are moving (tmi) but my abdomen is still SO SO inflated and painful. It’s almost like my body is doing it to attempt to protect me? I dunno. It’s really bad. Ice is helping a little.
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Other news.
I wrote to my nurse on my chart to see if they’d give me permission to switch to my neoprene compression binder. The binder they gave me has one big seam and that seam hits directly on my incisions and rubs. It’s… somethin.
We’ll see if they allow this. The neoprene is just as tight but has no seams.
Today I did laundry and loaded & ran the dishwasher. A combo which might take me 15m and took me two hours and is maybe the only thing I can do today. lol.
I was so careful, which is why it took so long. No extended reaching (used my grabber) no lifting more than one piece of fabric or dish at a time, no twisting, etc etc etc.
I feel like I ran a marathon and then did two powerlifting competitions.
Prepping my bed for my first not sitting up sleep tonight. I’m using a wedge pillow and yoga boosters to prevent side sleeping and hoping it helps me get some nice rest. Sleeping sitting up has felt right so far, but hard on my body.
I slept well enough in the bed, but one of my fears came true and I ended up with some swelling at the back of my armpits/on my back due to gravity. It’s making the chest compression vest even more painful.
I think I might go back to sleeping sitting up for a few more days.
I received a response to my request to switch to my neoprene binder and the nurse said it would be OK if it was completely 100% flush with my skin with no gapping at all. I’m going to try it on this afternoon. God I hope it fits better. All my current paint right now is related to my binding vest (and the bloating).
The bloating is still so so so painful and bad. I might try to find some gas X. I’m assuming this is just my body reacting to everything I’m putting it through by getting hella hella hella inflamed my stomach is so distended it’s hurting the skin!
Other notes;
• Yesterday, one of my dog walking clients dropped off cookies for me.
• This morning I took my second solo shower and washed things actually a little bit more than I have been.
• This morning someone came and picked up donations to bring to the Pet Pantry.
• With my little dinosaur arms I somehow took out the trash (???) and picked up the dog poop in the back yard.
I put the neoprene binder on and HOLY SHIT. My bloating is going down slowly because I’m not having such a reaction to the pain of the other binder and it’s still very compressing. The nurse said it’s ok as long as it’s skin tight and it is.
Of course I’m freaking out that it’s not as tight and “am I ruining my results, am I setting myself up for a seroma or fluid build up, etc”
Progress is progressing. It’s right on target or maybe even ahead, but feels slowwww to me.
After the slight fluid buildup the night I slept in my bed I am back to sleeping sitting up at the edge of the sofa or in the recliner. It’s rough, but I keep reminding myself that this is very temporary.
I spoke to my boss this morning and instead of going back and jumping in full-time to my schedule on Thursday, I’m going to work like an hour or two all this week (I started today), so I can ease in a little bit more.
I actually think I’ll be fine two weeks from now to go back to all dog walking clients except for two (one jumps when I walk in and the other pulls on the lead).
I’ve been taking walks with Dwayne who is also going through some medical stuff right now and it’s been good. I am mostly keeping up with things in the house, but I can sort of see the looming need for some bigger tasks and I’m trying to plan accordingly. I can do many things, but not all.
My current biggest physical recovery issues are the abdominal bloating which is still pretty incessantly painful & my protective posture. If I’m not careful, my body will slowly curl itself into a lowercase “c” and my neck, shoulders, and back will start hurting something fierce.
The two things I almost didn’t get for my recovery I have found I am using SO MUCH.
My mastectomy pillow vest: I feel like it helps me take more reasonable risks. I can pop it on if I want to sweep the house or tidy up a little bit, etc and the vest feels safe & cozy.
The grabber tool: I have pulled the curtains open every morning and closed every evening (ritual I enjoy), grabbed stuff out of the washing machine, and even grabbed some toys to toss for the pup.
I am incredibly grateful and very aware of the ways my body is prepared to help me right now. I notice multiple times each day how strong my body is. And I think about all the daily stretching, lifting, walking, and care I gave to my body and how it’s returning the favor right now.
My core is ready to help with getting up using no hands a zillion times each day, my legs are helping me get on the tippiest of toes to reach things, my pecs are protectively flexed (probably too much) as I try to stop rounding my shoulders.
And also.
I’m 40 years old as of a few months ago. My body hurts from sleeping sitting up. My shoulders/back hurt sooo much from rounding, my gut is super inflamed from the overall stress, and pretty much everything is sorta just aching throbbing.
I worked for two hours today. It felt like 13. Two more days of that and then two days of pure rest before I officially go back to work for full days. I’ve got this I’ve got this I’ve got this.
I had my virtual follow up today and I’ll have my in person follow up next week.
I discussed my potential pulled abdominal muscle with them and they’re going to take a look at it next week. It’s currently the most painful part of my recovery & is a humming pain but will spasm if I do the wrong type of movement. Otherwise I’m meeting my mile markers and they’ll take the tape off my incisions next week, which I’m already freaked out about.
I feel ok ish I guess. I mean I do not feel good. But I feel a little better every day I think. It’s subtle.
I drove yesterday for the first time, which was exhausting and a little scary. I just went about a mile to a thrift shop bc it’s already over 90° and I will likely be in button up shirts for a few more weeks and needed more with short sleeves.
Last night my long term clients brought their pups to visit me and brought me flowers. It was very sweet. They are going to have to say goodbye to one of their beloved dogs before I can come back to dog services so they wanted to bring him by. I’m also going with them to his last swim appointment on Sunday (he loves to swim, even as sick as he’s been).
Right? I’m obsessed. I barely prune it each year and the bush just thrives and gets bigger every year. It looks fake almost. I once had a man, a few years back one spring come by every few weeks and ask if he could clip some for his sweetie. He has since moved and they’re not together any more, but it just love that memory.
my stomach is so distended it’s hurting the skin!
After the slight fluid buildup the night I slept in my bed I am back to sleeping sitting up at the edge of the sofa or in the recliner. It’s rough, but I keep reminding myself that this is very temporary.
I spoke to my boss this morning and instead of going back and jumping in full-time to my schedule on Thursday, I’m going to work like an hour or two all this week (I started today), so I can ease in a little bit more.
I’ve been taking walks with Dwayne who is also going through some medical stuff right now and it’s been good. I am mostly keeping up with things in the house, but I can sort of see the looming need for some bigger tasks and I’m trying to plan accordingly. I can do many things, but not all.
My current biggest physical recovery issues are the abdominal bloating which is still pretty incessantly painful & my protective posture. If I’m not careful, my body will slowly curl itself into a lowercase “c” and my neck, shoulders, and back will start hurting something fierce.
