I’m glad they ended up giving the cows away, I’m hoping to someone who knows how to take care of cows. From the article it sounds like they based their expectations on people’s Instagram posts about cows.
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I liked how they finished on a positive story, and the nice format of the review of each situation (what they wanted, what they got, how they felt about it). I agree these were kind of the extremes. I admit to looking at rural housing when the pandemic was a few months in, because we didn’t know how everything was going to play out. 6 months is one thing, 6 months with no idea if it’s going to stay that way for a few more months or 5+ years is another. But then, we also review whether we want to stay urban or move to the region’s (uh, anywhere or of Perth) every year. I didn’t notice anyone with kids in their examples, besides the couple with the new baby?
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I get the impression she doesn’t work in the warehouses at Amazon 
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Yeah I full on laughed out loud when I read the thing about nobody tells you how hard farming is. I’m like have you met a fucking farmer, all we do is complain about how hard that shit is. Why do you think I don’t live on a farm anymore. 
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That’s the odd thing! None of them have or want kids. Ages range from late twenties to late thirties. I mean, I completely get wanting to move from the city to the suburbs to raise kids, that makes total sense, but for the people I know it was all about being in a small apartment during covid. And who knows! Maybe they’ll all love where they’ve landed. It just seemed so wild to me to make such a major decision based on brief discomfort. Plus some are now back to in person work, so three people out of those four couples are commuting like 1.5+ hours each way now.
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Those are all absurdly large homes for 1-2 people. I do not feel bad for them.
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Yep, my brother and his fiancée moved from their apartment in the city to a house in the suburbs (that is larger than our house, with a child in it) because of the pandemic. With all these ideas of an office for each of them, their master, a guestroom, a workout room. Their place is an absolutely huge new build.
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Do they like it?
These people make my 3 year hunt for a house seem positively glacial.
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I mean… it’s hard to tell. They’re both definitely depressed and she talks a lot when she sees me about collective trauma and needing to see a counselor but hasn’t, what ND disorders she thinks she has, etc. And they’re like, full on agoraphobic now. But they kinda are prone to all that at a base line. They already were in a new city when they were in the apartment, so too many variables to tell.
So. In short I do think they’re miserable, but I dunno how much the house plays in. It DID let them get a dog, who they seem to enjoy.
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Yikes, that’s too bad. Sounds like a lot more than the house going on. On a related note I keep hearing the term “collective trauma” too! Like all of the sudden! And it’s being used in relation to just living through the pandemic in general (not actually getting sick or losing someone or being front line or losing a job, etc.). It’s super odd to me. Maybe partly because in clinical terms there’s no such thing as a definite trauma? Usually it’s called a potentially traumatic incident and only applies to pretty extreme first-person things, but even in those circumstances a lot of people don’t develop PTSD or anything long term, which is super interesting. I think PTSD only impacts like 15% of people who go through a potential trauma, or something like that? Anyway that’s way off topic, lol, but I swear it feels like all the sudden everyone is talking about having PTSD from collective trauma and I feel like I missed the memo.
ETA: Some interesting reading I just found describing the features of collective trauma, seems like people are misusing the term at present to describe individual feelings, but like the pandemic could qualify eventually depending on legacy, since collective trauma seems to be largely group reaction dependent versus situation/individual response oriented. Most of the examples were much more perpetrator/victim framed though, and much more extreme, so IDK.
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Reading about others regrets does make me wonder what the next step in us feeling financially secure will be. When we bought, we used all our cash savings and borrowed a significant chunk briefly from my parents (that I knew we were getting back in tax a few months later so we could repay them ASAP), because I was determined to not pay PMI** and really felt like my $20k of shares (outside superannuation) were a safety net for me, since I was on parental leave at the time. It was a bit nonsense but also what I needed.
Now we have a nice big lump of cash again, some shares from Ponder’s work and some outside Superannuation. I sold some shares because I thought we were going to renovate within 6 months. It’s now 12+ months later, whoops. The mortgage is refinanced at a nice low rate, and we’ve offset nearly 40% of it with our cash.
But we’re planning on a ~$300k renovation. So… What do we need to still feel secure when we spend that huge amount of money, knowing I’m earning $15k/year while I study, Ponder is the primary earner in a company that occasionally just dumps a group of people, and that we want to try for another kid next year, a process that will likely need a LOT of support and hopefully be less traumatic than getting Pumpkin was?
Writing it all out is very very helpful. What ideas do people have? Reflection questions I could ask myself? Etc etc. Even reading what others think they would do could be helpful for me to gauge what I think feels right for us. Should I move this to my journal?
**Here in Australia you pay PMI as a lump sum that they include in your total mortgage if you have less than 20% of equity, and if you refinance at less than 20% you pay PMI again.
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I think starting from a point of “what is NOT secure” and then a “stars above, this would for sure be enough” scenario then try to whittle it down from there? Kinda like dreamlining or whatever it is for 5 year life plans, but finance edition.
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What I’ve learned from listening to I Will Teach You to Be Rich is that the feeling of security is totally dependent on the person and not so much their financial situation. Have you listened to it at all? It’s pretty fascinating.
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Ooh. I’ve been reading the transcripts but actually listening would hit differently, I think. I will do that. Also I and thought of it in terms of “safety/ security” but that would prompt me to think about it in terms of “what makes us feel rich/ a position of abundance?” (Which we clearly have, to be taking on this renovation).
Doing a finance focused 5 year plan sounds excellent.
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That’s an interesting distinction! Like I feel lots of abundance in pretty much every area, and I definitely like I’m rich. I feel safe financially, like I’m not afraid of ending up in poverty or something, but I suppose I don’t feel total security yet? For me I think it’s related to net worth, like I would feel (or I think I would! haha maybe not!) totally secure when our investments can support us in perpetuity. I think my emergency cash fund is a big part of security too.
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Money saving question for you guys! Have any of you gone deep on how to get specific pet meds more cheaply? Assume a situation where the pet has to be on specific medications (e.g. I can’t switch to a cheaper Probiotic, I just want to get the Probiotic we need more cheaply if I can).
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My mom lives close to the border and drives into Mexico for them 
does that count? At the blessing of her vet amusingly, apparently it’s common practice where she lives.
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Costco does prescription dog medicine! Could be an option for you? Idk how much of an actual reduced cost it will be though.
ETA. Just saw your jornal and you have probably already tried costco! I’m sorry if this wasn’t helpful.
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Omg no you’re perfect, I can’t expect you to read my mind! It’s helpful to know I’m basically on track with how I’m thinking about it.
I think I remember my vet saying about a year ago that Costco carried one of the meds I needed but not the other? But I want to call and see the current status. I did switch his preventative meds from the online pharmacy I’ve been using to Costco recently and did save some money.
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