I am so glad you gathered all the information and worked out a plan that was even BETTER for you than buying!
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You are so thoughtful in your processing about money/spending and what aligns with your values. It’s awesome that you have figured out your reasons for buying vs. renting, and that renting allows a more comfortable and accessible life. I know for me when I was considering buying I wanted to make sure that I was doing it for the right reasons, and I knew it was right when I realized that almost everything about how I live my life at home would be better if I owned my house. But in my city we don’t have nice apartments that aren’t at least double what my mortgage is, and I was tired of living in a room in someone’s house or a casita. My life in my own home is infinitely better in so many ways than it was when I was renting. It sounds like your life as a renter is so wonderful already and set up in a way that makes it easy for you to do all of the things you like to do! It’s also nice to have the flexibility of moving if you ever wanted to, and not having to worry about selling a house, or finding renters if you wanted to keep it. Also even in the first month of owning my home it has been…very expensive (um see surprise massive crack in the subfloor that I found when I tore out the carpet), and while I’m happy to be building equity I also know that if I had purchased my home for the sole purpose of building equity/not “throwing” rent away, I would be pretty disappointed. IMO it’s infinitely cheaper a lot of times to pay someone rent monthly and not have to worry about the upkeep of a home, and also have the flexibility to leave at any time. When I was buying my house people kept telling me “it’s such a great investment, you won’t regret it!” and I always just thought…I mean, it may be a great investment, but it may not be…but I’m not buying a house for the investment, I’m buying it to have a home that I love and feel comfortable+safe in. If it’s a great investment that will be like a bonus…
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Thanks for the encouragement @ladyduck and @mountainmustache29 and @TrisPrior and everyone! I don’t really have anyone in my real life (like parents, older trusted relatives, etc.) who I can check these kinds of things against so I appreciate your words! And there are seemingly no financial planning guides or spaces geared towards people for whom accessibility is an issue, so I’m kind of having to DIY a lot of this.
@plainjane the eggs in one basket thing had occurred to me too! It is really nice that we have flexibility in terms of where we live, especially since we’re single income. That’s another thing I was somewhat concerned about when it came to buying now, I mean I guess I could rent out the place or whatever, but it is pretty nice that we could just pick up and move if we needed to (or move somewhere cheaper if there were a massive permanent pay cut or something).
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Yes that’s what I was thinking about when you were discussing buying. You’ve made comments that the social vibe of the city you are in doesn’t make you happy. Having a plan to rent for the long term gives you so much flexibility!
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I think you’ve done a great job of analyzing your options and you (and your husband) have done a lot of work to get to a place in life where finances don’t have to be the only deciding factor. From what you’ve described in your current market renting offers you a much higher quality of life than buying would. Even if buying would have turned out to be the optimal choice financially, it sounds like the quality of life issues would have made it not worth it.
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It totally does @Sunflower ! I’ve also made a lot more peace with my city now and feel a bit guilty/self-conscious about how much I’ve shit talked it here, lol. I see now that a lot of my upset was really about leaving/losing some of the amenities of the last city I left, which was a huge part of my identity. But I do still want to keep my options open for the future! Like if we could easily afford to buy something here that was just like what we’re renting I’d probably do it, but that’s just not the case. Not yet anyway!
Part of it is also that my husband got a very late start to his professional career and it started up just as my disability got a lot worse. So like, right when he finally started making money my income was rapidly decreasing which meant our household income didn’t actually go up at all. When we got married he didn’t have a degree (he worked manual labor and service jobs) and so he’s actually only been in a professional job making a salary for like 6 years, and in that time his income has doubled and now our household income is at its highest even though I’m not working. So basically, I have no idea what his potential earning power is for the next decade+ because he’s totally blown my expectation out of the water. If it turns out he can make way way more (which I’m now thinking is possible) maybe it will make sense to buy an apartment at some point. Like if we could buy in the $500k-$800k range with a massive downpayment it might be worth a look again. For now I’m really happy we can just pile money in investments.
Thanks @daffodil2001 I think you’re right that the quality of life hit would just be too big right now. We’re also both completely not DIY people. Like doing renovations, even hiring people to do it, does not sound fun to me. And my husband’s handiness stops at the mounting tv’s and replacing toilets line. I’m sure he could learn to do more but it’s obviously not an area of interest/strength for either of us. I love how low maintenance our life is here!
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I don’t mean to monopolize this group journal; I just have so much going on with money right now! I decided to go ahead and up husband’s 401(k) contribution from 3% to 6% because I realized we can do that while still hitting our 2-year goals of having a big cash buffer emergency fund. His company also contributes up to a 3% match, so we were already getting the match and everything, but I’m still glad I can double it now without sacrificing the $1k monthly save. When the cash buffer is fully saved I’m hoping to up his 401(k) to 15% which will be about the max we can do, I think, although with his higher future salary who knows. If there is still wiggle room I will go ahead and start putting the extra in a Roth IRA for me.
ETA : Oh and I currently have a higher net worth than DH because I had a professional career before he did and I found MMM at 23. That’s why I’m prioritizing him saving first. Didn’t want to make it sound like everything is in his name or something!
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Hah! Ok this is funny. I have been blabbing to a friend since like, mid 2020, that I had this whole theory (which I’ve shared here too) that a lot of people were panic buying totally unsuitable real estate which they would eventually want to dump.
Today she sent me this link, lol:
I can’t read the article because of a paywall but I laughed at the headline. I also predicted the whole showing proof of vaccination to get into places…just saying…I might have powers. I assume Hogwarts will be calling any day now.
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Oh my gosh thank you!!! I was so curious because I assume the examples are like super over the top, lol, what a nice little present!
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Haaaaa I was waiting for this article. YUP.
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I never use these up so might as well! I think @Rhubarbsoda reminded me the other day that I’ve got the power!
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Do each of us that click take one? I felt guilty once I click and realized it might be a limited thing. Although I’m excited to read it.
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Ok, that was a fun read! It was definitely extreme examples (like a couple who didn’t know that caring for several acres and two cows would require work…) and dripping with condescension towards certain areas of the country on the part of the interviewees. That said, I think a lot of people have done a lower key version of this!
I know a surprising number of people who were super happy to live in a city their entire adult lives until like 3-6 months into the pandemic when they bounced and bought in tiny remote towns or far out suburbs out of nowhere. The people I know IRL (four different couples) had no plans to do that type of city to suburb/rural move at all, like it was not part of their plan. They just got so emotional over being WFH in a small apartment that they totally panicked and bought in the only markets they could afford. It really surprised me, especially the earliest people, like six months?! That’s all it took?! Damn, lol.
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“ I’ve done the thing where I’m like, ‘I’m hungry for pasta, I’m going to go to Rome for three days,’” said Ms. DiSantis”
This is someone with a VERY different life from mine 
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Nope! It’s 10 articles not 10 shares if that makes sense.
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Yay! Awesome.
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How old are the friends who moved? It’s so boring to get older: I never thought I’d live in a suburb, until I realized if I wanted to raise kids, we’d need more space.
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Omg thank you in that case I’m all over going to read that, yesssssss this is a great gift
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Me too! There was a thread on mmm about this as well but I couldn’t read it
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