Job Hunting Support Group

list pros & cons?

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The issues:

TLDR: I’m worried about feeling like I missed out on an opportunity.

My current job is going through a lot of upheaval and, after a lot of work and effort, might end up in a good place, or might end up in a really bad place and I can’t predict what I think will happen. On the one hand, we have a lot of very smart, fun, hardworking people in the same room, and it seems like that would lead to outcomes I’d love to be part of. On the other hand, our C suite makes terrible choices, the leaders in between us and the C suite are either pretty obviously idiots or extremely disengaged with the day-to-day of our site, and we seem to be trying to slowly merge with a different group whose leadership I don’t respect and whose culture (just do whatever it takes to meet impossible asks) is not one I’m interested in joining. Plus absolute worse case scenario we are moving our lab and I don’t trust them to not lay another 30-50% of people off in June when we’re done.
I also might get promoted in July if I stay here which is not trivial.

The new job is the exact same job, just not in a services context. I’d be doing the same thing just in house at a company (and in a weird twist of fate, for my current boss, who also accepted a job at the new company and is starting on April 1). Everyone seemed nice, the commute would kind of suck (train + bus/bike/walk), I’d be working on 3 things for the foreseeable future instead of new things every 6 months, I’d need to figure out a new wardrobe because everything I wear is a free t shirt from my current company, they only have 15 days of PTO (+ a shutdown between Christmas and new years). It’s the same amount of money.
Honestly the thing that makes me least want to take the new job is that my boss is so excited about it and I’m… not. Like it’d be nice, but the things that are different about it I’m not excited about except as an escape.

So I kind of think I shouldn’t take it, but my husband thinks that I should and he’s been the one listening to me complain about current company for the last 3 years. And I have almost rage quit a few times. So what if I have Stockholm syndrome? Because I see people with bad bosses and bad workloads who just… have stayed for 3 years for no reason I can see.

And also they didn’t give me a salary number, they asked me to tell them what I wanted which is a different kind of panic.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk. Truly any insight is welcomed.


imo this is not salvageable.

do you want a promotion this badly?

why is it the same amount of money if they asked you what you wanted? could you point out likely walking away from a promotion, so an increase or a signing bonus?

If you stay in hopes of the promotion, you should do 3 red lines of what you need to leave. You do not need to stay in new job for more than a year if you don’t like them.


Thank you. This is not helpful in that I am still conflicted, but the mistake I am scared of making is staying in a bad situation because it is familiar and this is very helpful with regards to that.


IMHO things will get very, very much worse at current company under the conditions you describe. If you do get the promotion, it will be to a job where you are expected to do WAAAAY more than one person can manage.

Maybe this other opportunity is not the right one, but I would definitely keep looking and not plan to stay at the new place much longer, even if they promote you. YOu can’t fix bad leadership at the top.


I reckon you go for the new thing.

There’s so much risk in current and not really a lot to support a good outcome. It MIGHT be a god outcome for the people who manage to still be working there in 12 months but you have no way of knowing if you’ll be in the next round of layoffs, while you could be working this solid job (not exciting, and that is OK! Same money a bit less stress is a great result). You will probably be able to look at the company in 12 months and see the survivor bias and have regrets but only because you left.


I am going to start reaching out to people in April. :flushed: Eep.


They bumped the title and pay 20%!
Leaving still feels emotionally turmoil-y but I’m pretty sure it’s the right thing to do mid-long term and the promotion makes it logical even though I feel gut level uncertain still.

I’m supposed to sign by Tuesday, so I’m hopefully going to have a peer level meeting with someone to ask more culture questions (I am worried about the PTO not being great) on Monday.


I have a call with one of the people who would be my peer at the new company tomorrow, what should I ask him?

  • How does the 15 day PTO policy (boo) work for him? Can we go negative, do people take more than a week at a time off, do people work from vacation to extend the time?
  • HR was super slow during my interview process. Is that ever an issue day to day? How has it gone when you’ve tried to promote someone on your team?
  • What time do people generally work?
  • What do people generally wear?
  • Do people come in for half days/flex hours or if you come in do you stay for the whole day?
  • Is there a comp time policy (formal or informal) when people work weekends?
  • Maybe too direct but: has the team ever had to fire someone and how did that go?
  • Anything else?

Good questions and not too direct. What about meals and general culture stuff. Lunch prep and eating spaces in the office? Are people slacking you day and night (and expecting immediate responses)?


Maybe ask about both sides to balance it out–What’s the review/feedback process like for promotions and bonuses, or for the opposite how are underperformance issues communicated and handled?


Or what about just “performance feedback” in general? I’d personally be worried that explicitly stating firing or underperformance would lead folks to assume you’re asking because you want to see what you can get away with.

(Not that I would ever ever personally suspect this of someone, especially you darlingpants, but I could see how that could happen)


I actually want to know if they’re allowed to fire people fast :joy:
Firing people sucks no matter what, but I was in one job where it took them a year to fire someone and it was soul sucking for the rest of the team, as opposed to current job where we hired someone who turned out to be an asshole and they fired him before he hit 3 months at the job.


what is something you couldn’t have known before you joined that surprised you once you were here?
what type of work style meshes well with the existing team?
thinking of someone who didn’t work out well, what happened?


Ayyy I got a request for a writing sample! It’s for a technical writing internship.

They sent an email with options for what I could write. Text in the spoiler.

email here


To proceed with the application process, we would like to invite you to provide a writing sample for our technical interview. Please select one of the following options from the list provided below and send your writing sample to CO-FOUNDER, who is cc’d on this email, by Wednesday, April 3rd.

  • Technical Documentation or Proposal Sample: A short piece of technical documentation, like a section of a user manual or overall technology explanation showcasing the candidate’s ability to explain technical processes clearly.

  • Article or Opinion Piece: An article or blog post written by the candidate on a topic related to sustainability, clean energy, or climate technology, highlighting their ability to engage and inform a general audience.

  • Policy Analysis: A brief analysis or summary of a clean energy policy or regulation, demonstrating the candidate’s understanding of policy impacts on technology development and deployment.

  • Project Proposal Excerpt: A section from a proposal for a sustainability-focused project, revealing the candidate’s skills in persuasive writing and their ability to secure support or funding.

  • Research Summary: A concise summary of a research project, or the project itself(ideally related to clean energy or sustainability, though not a strict requirement), showing the candidate’s ability to distill complex research findings into accessible insights.

Thank you again for your interest in joining our team. We look forward to reviewing your submission.

Lamby, fyi, the above options are ideas of what a technical writing sample could be, it’s not the case that they must be one of those examples. Something that you feel is technical in scope is great, with the above being good examples.

Should I reply to this email right now and tell them which sample I’ll write? I’d prefer to think on it before I decide.

Or is it better to write a quick acknowledgement email, then tell them about the sample when I send it in?


acknowledgement email, you can choose topic/type after.


So… thank you for all the help.

I didn’t take the job. I didn’t have any concrete reason, but I felt terrible and conflicted and after 2 months of agonizing I still didn’t want to sign. So I didn’t.

I feel much calmer though, so even though I can’t articulate why I didn’t want it, and I know that current company is kind of a shit rollercoaster, I’m happy with my decision. Hopefully I don’t regret it, or it takes me at least 6 months to regret it.

And I immediately signed up for initial sessions with 2 therapists, one private and one through my EAP so I did learn something and that is that I don’t know what I want and I should probably figure it out before I do a time consuming job search, because I kind of ruined my own life (and Mr Darling’s life) with stress and angst for 2 months for no reason.


I’m sorry the last two months were stressful, but it sounds like the pressure is off now and you can do a little self exploration, which is the opposite of ruining your life!


For later


Re-did my CV to be more dot points, less paragraphs. Submitted it to a new job last week, so :crossed_fingers: that gets me an interview this time.