Hahahah
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Oh no. Todayâs couple.
âŠoh no.
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âŠoh NO
noâŠoh noâŠNOOO⊠WHAT??? No.
I had a hard time listening today.
BUT I have been trying to talk to Mr. Ninja about our limiting beliefs and this is a great episode to help learn to identify other peopleâs limiting beliefs and how it is holding them back.
I have so much empathy and frustration for them all at once.
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I donât think itâs going to go well for them! I canât believe this all went down after they begged to be on the show
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should I try watching? I havenât attempted an episode in what feels like a year.
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Iâm not sure this is the one to start back up with. I honestly felt like the guy was just looking for an excuse/permission to get divorced.
Spoiler
They didnât even submit follow-ups so very unlikely any changes have been made for the better.
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Ay ay ay. Oh my goodness.
One thing that stands out to me - all of these people who have apple watches and ipads with a data plan - donât they understand that they can use the devices without the monthly data plan? Iâve never had a data line for my watch or ipad. Ramit never seems to mention that, he just attacks having the watch.
I think the wife is really depressed and doesnât have enough confidence in herself. She also seems really flippant and like she isnât really taking this seriously. She seems like a teenager and not mature at all. I doubt anything is going to change, except they might get divorced.
However, the husband is not innocent by any means. His ridiculous list of vehicles is a big contributor toward where they are financially.
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I was thinking this too! I think Ramit doesnât know how smart watches work. I cannot fathom needing a data plan for a watch. When are you with your watch but not near your phone or wifi? That is bananas to me.
Absolutely he is as much of the problem as her. He just wants to blame her and not fix anything. That is what made me the most disappointed/sad. If you are a victim to your circumstance and only want to blame others you will never change.
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Did it ever say where they lived? They have an income of more than $100,000 so if theyâre in flyover country with no kids they should be easily making it.
The one positive thing for them is that they did have net worth of over $200,000,
Heâs going to divorce her and honestly, he will be better off financially. She will be destitute. he will have to pay her a bit of spousal maintenance for a short while, Most likely.
At least theyâve been married 10 years so she can draw on his Social Security when she gets to retirement age, if her own is less than half of his.
Iâm not sure which couple was worse, todayâs couple or the couple featured in two episodes previously. I donât know that the wife today was depressed, I didnât get that vibe, but I definitely got that vibe from The wife last week because she keeps buying things for the dopamine hit.
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Sometimes I wish heâd partner with an actual therapist. But at least he does a solid job recommending them when appropriate
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This. I feel like he went on Ramit so that he could go âsee? Itâs my wife sheâs the problemâ and wanted Ramit to back him up. And then when Ramit talked about the cars he couldnât really engage.
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Agreed, the man in this couple is going to file for a divorce. And sure if he really wanted to solve some of the financial problems he would sell the cars.
but I will say that this guy who, if I understand correctly is pulling in $20,000+ a year in his little hobby side job separate from his salary job, should be able to have a bunch of cars Totaling $40,000 if he wants. That level of car collecting does not seem extreme to me. Paying interest on loans for the cars is something he should not be doing though.
OK, is it obvious that Iâm a car person? My household has a bunch of cars.
And I think this guy is right that if he sells all of his cars, his household will be right back where they are now in a short while. I guess they just spend too much money and I donât know how much of it is the wifeâs spending, but itâs obvious sheâs not contributing like a full adult to the finances of their household.
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The way she talked about her job worried me. Because it is like her husband and Ramit didnât hear her at all. At one point Ramit said that she was acting rationally and I was like yes! Sheâs keeping the job stable and safe because her relationship isnât. But no. Apparently itâs because she is happy living on her (presumed ex)âs salary.
I wish her well and I hope she follows her intuition post divorce
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Found the latest episode, 153 (couple from Bozeman, MT) quite interesting. Ramit did a better than usual attempt at being a therapist, I think?
Spoilers
I did find myself wondering the whole time, like, âIs she really overspending? Or do you just not realize how much the little things add up?â I kept going back and forth. I havenât quite finished, theyâre actually going through the spending numbers now (gasp). So that might help answer it.
I expect especially since she covers kids medical as well as groceries, her gas, etc that she is paying a more than proportional share of expenses even excluding purchases of âstuffâ. ~~And given that he is saving 250 out of 15k(!) income I expect he is spending more than he admits. ~~ NVM that was their combined gross but I still suspect he spends more than ânothingâ on himself, with a hunting hobby and such.
The condo was a plot twist. âshe saves nothing! Well except the $800 monthly income from her rental that just sits in an account except the one time it bought half a carâ
Oh! And he kept going on about how a Toyota was double the price in Bozeman as the rest of the country? So buy it somewhere else? At that point even shipping is a valid option if you donât want to go out and drive it back? Stop making up problems, dude!
ETA
Gross income 15683, but this includes 1900 rental income so more like 13800 gross and probably 10-11 take home.
He mentions that 300/mo is two mortgage payments a year so like a 2k mortgage on their home.
1.5k groceries/Walmart/Costco, 1k cars, probably 1-2k daycare, letâs say another 1k for utilities, internet, phones, subscriptions.
⊠Actually yeah that comes out to like 75% of their net.
Also noticed that he keeps being like âI donât want to contribute to the joint account cause I donât know what sheâll spend it on!â My dude. Joint means itâs yours, too. You can look. With your eyes. Obviously if they canât reach or stick to an agreement on what comes out of the joint, what requires consensus, etc then it wonât work for them. But even with separate finances he should be aware of what things like groceries and holiday gifts and medical care and clothes etc for the kids cost and how that compares to her pay?
Also also also, if heâs covering all the fixed, set and forget bills like mortgage and daycare and utilities, and sheâs covering all the household shopping for food and cleaning and laundry baskets and whatever, then sheâs doing all the emotional labor of making budget DECISIONS and idk itâs kinda shitty of him to judge her for occasional impulse buys when sheâs constantly being exposed to the marketing machine and heâs just isolated himself.
ETA2
Dude. Bro. Buddy.
Your follow up looped right back to where you were at the beginning. Like maybe demonstrate some growth? Idk.
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DH was so put off by the husband that he stopped listening. He really made DH mad. He feels very strongly about shared finances (and being mature and responsible with those finances) being part of the trust thatâs necessary for a marriage.
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The problem with this couple is that their finances is like a black hole. The husband sees random new things in the house and then sees the wife asking for more money, so in his head sheâs impulse buying. When I watch the episode, I did have the impression that she maybe was overspending for « stuff ». Ramit is very against couple separating their finances and it showed on this episode. I think it can be doable, but it needs more clarity and better planning than this couple did. I hope they changed their system.
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I was so mad at Ramit!
Parts of their lives matched so much with mine and Gâs. Like we very quickly started a family and joined households, and didnât combine finances. For me, it hit hard after the second kid because all âmyâ expenses kept ballooning (kid stuff, my clothes, groceries and household) while his didnât fluctuate as much and he had no clue what I was spending.
We resolved it, but some makes sense. And Ramit, 1500 for groceries probably includes diapers, maybe formula, prepped options because the are tired. Itâs reasonable. Amazon? Diapers, wipes, fuck none of his brotherâs onesies fit because their bodies are different. Maybe if I buy a different teether it will work?
I find it hard to assume she overspends generally because before him she supported her own damn self and owned a condo and went to a fitness class if she wanted. Now sheâs paying for her condo feeding 4 humans and needs the gym class please give her $400.
They DO need to either join finances or itemize budget and divide it all more fairly. Probabky they both need to soend less because they probabky both are a bit used to pre kid spending. Also at that stage of relationship if she used to spend $25 a week on thai food and he used to buy pizza on friday, suddenly it is $50 on thai food AND pizza on friday for 4. And inflation. But they used to be able to!
For us we had 40k/year for me and 100k/year for him. We were both comfortable and had everything we wanted in 2019. In 2024 family income for 4 is 140k and yet it is so much tighter. Oh wait. Itâs also 35k each instead of 70k each. So yeah⊠so much sympathy for this couple and not sure if Ramit is right for them
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OK this blew my mind. This makes sense for pre kid/post kids money. Not income obviously but financial demands on the household.
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Oh yep this is our finances too. And our mortgage, our largest expense, is also twice as much because of interest rates. It went from $340/week to 680/week literally overnight.
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I do sometimes get the feeling he doesnât know a lot of people with kids, or at least doesnât know their finances intimately.
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