Omg the description of todays episode…I think it’s gonna be a good one, it seems like a Goop style entrepreneurial venture 
Apparently I don’t understand the term “elopement” or the couple here doesn’t. Isn’t an elopement signing a marriage cert at the courthouse and not telling anyone about it? Like it’s a secret NON wedding legal deal. They’re spending 5k to go to an island?
Oh myyyy this is QUITE the episode to read/ listen to after I’ve been binging on Maintenance Phase.
My cousin left her kid with her parents while she and her fiance went on a cruise and got married at the destination. Everyone knew they were getting married, they just didn’t want to deal with the event planning because that’s too similar to what they do at work.
So maybe the podcast couple did that?
Oooh. I read the description and I LOVE it.
True story I spent $800 on a business coach/money manifestation person this year. Our final takeaway was that I have money skills but idgaf about money past a certain point. And I’m past that point. We discussed ways to extend that point and I really say with it and was like… nah. I’m loving my rich life. The things that were making me question if I’m making enough are all external “pride” things. I want to just be happy.
So I am.
And I think I see this side of charlotte, except that as Ramit points out, she’s not living her rich life yet and neither is her partner AND she’s slowing down his joy. So it is really neat that she’s learning the money skills to get her rich life. I want her to be on her million dollar homestead running the wellness business and also being really happy airy fairy
Yeah i cant speak for tone, because i read the transcripts, butt I’m really hopeful for this couple! Charlotte sounded like she understood how she was making everything harder for them and could just do a few changes to plan a little more or so a bit more research, and then would be making things better for them.
I love this for you.
Another couple who felt like an actual team, at least from the transcripts! I liked that Ramit pointed out that even though Charlotte talks a lot more about manifesting etc, they’re both actually pretty impulsive in some respects. And the framing of “don’t get rid of your intuition, the analytical skills are an extra not a displacement” seemed to really click for them.
Also I read the followup letter and their detailed homesteading farm dream is excellent. Talk about detailed rich life visions - they’ve listed out everything from “king sized bed” (fuck yes) to the septic system.
Will I be nice today? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. (Spoiler: lol nope)
Charlotte (29, $0 salary) and Alex (31, $70k salary) are our skating duo tonight. Charlotte is working on a business but doesn’t have any income from it (red flag 1). The first thing Ramit tells us about her is that she calls herself an “intuitive” (red flag 2) and believes in letting the universe take care of her (red flag 3).
This gonna be good. This gonna be real good.
These two live month-to-month and both have lots of debt because Charlotte’s stellar plan to not plan anything and let the universe take care of her doesn’t work unless you search and replace “universe” for “Alex”, because that dude has to keep bailing them out. Their income recently doubled but the extra money is just disappearing, going out into the cosmos, no doubt.
Charlotte’s talking at us- they decided to elope and Alex’s first question was how to pay for it. She says that’s valid. She made a budget, not usually her thing, it was a loose budget. “We need to manifest $5,000” is what she legit just said,". OMG and the universe provided! And by the universe I mean her Dad, who gave her a check for $5k (inheritance from grandparents). That was confirmation for her that this all works. It surprised her that Alex wanted to put the money towards debt. THAT IS NOT THE WAY OF THE UNIVERSE!!! It was jarring for her to hear this because “that is so not the vibe.”
I. Am. Dying. 
Is this lady for real?
She felt peaceful and had so much “gratitude” before Alex pointed out that they need to pay back the money they agreed to pay back and suggested putting the $5k towards their debt. Much gratitude, lol. His recommendation to do that was, in her words, “Cold, calculated, and rigid.” It bummed her out!
Charlotte says she was raised Catholic and has been working through “money programming” she got as part of that. When did people start calling literally anything they were exposed to or learned “programming”? Now she’s quoting the whole camel is more likely to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into heaven thing. As a kid she believed that. She thinks some parts of it are valid. She thinks god, universe, whatever, does provide if you are a good person! The check from her family is proof of that! The money can just come to you naturally, she says, not through working and grinding.
Ramit points out to us that Charlotte is basically saying that if you are a good person you will get money, and he’s not loving it. Looks like we’re on the same team today, Ramit. Ramit says we can believe in god if we want, but we can still have a spending plan. Ramit is like, “if the universe really took care of her why would she be on a call with me?” BAHAHAHA. Oh Ramit. You’re pretty ok sometimes. <3 <3 <3
Ramit asks if her parents were wealthy and she says not really but then also says her Dad was a commander in the military and they were “very well taken care of”, traveled Europe and she got whatever she wanted including beautiful gifts from around the world. Secure wonderful childhood. NOT WEALTHY THO! When Dad retired her parents started a country store and “lost it all” but…I do not trust this narrator so who the fuck knows. She felt bad asking for lunch money, they had to only do errands once a day to save on gas because they lived in a rural area. Her dad acted almost prideful about them becoming clearly destitute (sarcasm folks). He said things were more important than money like a house ($), food ($). She agrees it’s important to be grateful but says if you have the mindset that money isn’t everything you can “block the money” from coming to you. That must be what all those dumb poor people are doing!!! Silly poors should just manifest!
Ramit is now asking Alex about the whole elopement thing and how his suggestion went over. Alex said her response was, “We’re not doing that.” It was important for her to spend the money on something enjoyable. He felt understanding and agreed in the end since $5k wouldn’t get them out of debt anyway. Ramit asks Alex what the real problem is. Alex says they both have rich life ideas, but he sees his idea and then wants to make a plan, you know, like an adult. But her perspective is to want things, do them, and figure it out afterwards, like a child of the universe, I guess. He says when things don’t work out he has to save the day, because he used to have good credit (then says “not anymore”) and can work extra. Ramit asks for an example.
They moved across country in part because Charlotte said she had a huge professional network there (SC). But the business didn’t work out at all. So he had to go more into debt to save them and then he got them both jobs in NC and they moved there. He applied for like 30 jobs in order to do this.
Charlottes is talking, she says “I’m an idea machine and I’m very intuitive, with reaching out to you even!” she has inclinations and she goes for it. And he trusts her and goes along with it! But it doesn’t always work out. I can’t stand her, lol. Ramit asks how it feels when Alex saves the day. She says it’s a relief but she almost feels bad? Or crazy or something? Says she. But she says good things always come out of it. Probably bc of her strong psychic energy.
Ramit asks why she would feel bad if good things always come. She says seeing him struggle so much. But there were good things!!! It was the right move looking back (red flag 4) but maybe it could have been done better, she says. Ramit asks how she thinks HE feels. She says probably the first time it was like ok, but then the second or third time maybe he thought it was a pattern? Ramit tells her to ask him how he feels. He says the first time like his life was over. Like he’d taken a huge risk and it didn’t pay off. He was depressed and anxious and his mental health was spiraling out of control. One of the worst times of his life. He even thought about just breaking up with her and moving back in with his parents and starting from scratch.
For my sweet sexy-pants readers (god you all look fab today!) : He sounds fucking broken. She sounds upbeat and chipper. Like, it’s super fucking weird. It is downright alarming to me that she could live with this guy who was, in his words, going through one of the worst times of his life and depression in depression and anxiety, and describe his experience lightly as “maybe he thought it was a pattern”. Ramit says that Charlotte had never asked Alex how he had been feeling before this point, on the podcast. WTF. (red flags 5-7)
BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP, ALEX!
Alex says he doesn’t want to do it anymore, be the rescuer. Ramit asks Charlotte if she knew that. She’s like, “um, yeah, actually” she said there was talk of them breaking up, and that was hard for her to hear, but she’s glad “they” stuck it out. Ramit is like…um did you hear what he said about his mental health and how serious that was? She’s like, “we definitely talked about it a lot and that’s the main reason why when he found us both jobs I didn’t hesitate.” How gracious! She took the job he found for her. This chick is fucking wild. Ramit is praising her ability to pivot to the solution that was handed to her. If the bar gets any lower we will be in the basement.
Ramit is talking about the costs of being spontaneous and intuitive. This chick is NOT intuitive, lol. Intuitive people aren’t constantly in shitty scenarios needing to be rescued and they also aren’t totally unaware of how the world works or how they affect the people around them. Side note, but this reminds me of people I have known who have horrendous track records with friends and/or relationships and then say, “I’m a great judge of character!” Anyway…back to our programming.
Ramit is saying she only sees a silver lining (hard disagree) and is explaining to the highly intuitive Charlotte how her actions affect other people, like the man she lives with. After Alex saved the day and got them jobs Charlotte wanted to move again and go to upstate NY with no jobs. Ramit is trying to get her to see her lack of planning. She says, “mm hmm” and sounds sad and small. Alex says, “to be fair to Charlotte” and says he’s also intuitive and thinks the same way! But now Alex is seeing the 404 error of his ways and wants to become more of a planner.
Charlotte says, “I can’t say I care about money in the way that Alex cares about it,” but she’s trying to…get a little bit more…invested. SKIN IN THE GAME. She’s allergic to anything financial, paperwork, dmv, you know basic responsibilities. She would be happy living off the land, she says. That makes sense to me because farmers are famously flighty and lazy. I imagine her chickens would manifest fully cooked eggs right onto her plate. That’s how things work, right?
She says things are catching up to her because you can’t buy a house without credit. Ramit asks if she really believes that because she sounds detached about it. She chuckles and says, “in my heart, not really”. She says she cares about Alex (just not his thoughts or feelings), and she cares about their future security (just not obtaining it) and their relationship (but not working on it). She knows intellectually that money plays a part in “all of that” but thinking about it all doesn’t invoke a strong feeling in her.
Ramit appreciates the honesty. He asks if she would feel excitement if she suddenly saw $10k in her savings account. Interesting question! She says she’d feel relief, she guesses. He asks what would be more exciting: building a plan to invest her money or manifesting some amount of money and it gets sent to her without effort. She says manifesting. And she is not embarrassed about this answer. She is a very spiritual person, she says. (red flag 2,345) It makes her feel connected and supported (barf) and it’s validating (double barf) to be given things. When a check arrives for her that’s the exact amount she needs it makes her feel like she’s part of a “mysterious amazing universe”. She actually said those words. This intuitive and highly spiritual person feels most connected with the collective consciousness when RECEIVING MONEY AS A GIFT. She should probably move to Tibet and teach the monks and nuns there a thing or two. They’ve got it all wrong!
Ramit somehow doesn’t laugh and instead asks what another example is of something she manifested, other than the wedding.
BRB. I’m about to manifest some pee into my toilet. I hope the universe refilled my tp.
Alright, I’m back and my bowels are as empty as my mind. Let’s go.
Ok something financial Charlotte manifested. She’s thinking. She has a journal page where she wrote down some stuff she manifested. Ramit’s like, tell me ONE. She says this “imprinted on her at a young age.” Her sister was adopted from China (we can’t stop to unpack this one, folks, but it’s prob a steamer trunk full) and her parents were trying to figure out how to get her to the USA. They don’t like to talk about it but it’s super expensive to internationally adopt, she says. They really wanted to adopt her but weren’t sure on finances. Then out of the blue they got a letter from a family renting their home they owned in VA (the family was living in Germany at the time). And someone had gone to the garage sale the renters had and offered to buy the house in cash for (cue theremin music) the exact amount needed for the adoption. This Definitely Happened. AND THEN EVERYONE APPLAUDED!
Ramit asks what she took away from that. She says that god provides. The universe provides. She’s not been let down by that. Ramit’s like well you have $110k in debt. LOL. RAMIT!!! Fucking dunking like a nerdy boss. He goes, “if it’s just about manifesting why don’t you manifest $110k?” AllHat singing, “did you ever knowww that you’re my herrrrooooooo…”
Charlotte is silent. Then sighs, then says, “well that’s a good question.” She’s talking debt breakdown now instead of answering the question. She says she they have two pools of debt, cc debt and student loans. She has $110k in student loans. Money doesn’t invoke a strong emotional response to her, tho, she says. She says the student debt was “the hoax of the century” and says she doesn’t feel like it’s hers because she didn’t get a house or car or swipe a credit card for it.
Ramit’s talking to us about how resentful so many people are about student debt. And how lots of peeps think they can ignore it, but they can’t. Ramit asks her when she thinks about that debt what word comes to mind. She says: injustice. This is a massive internal inconsistency- how is it that getting free gift money is earned by her being fabulous but getting a big ass financial lesson in the form of student debt is INJUSTICE.
Ramit asks why it feels like injustice. She says again that it felt like a HOAX. She was misled by guidance counselors. She got a BA in Biology and then had to get more schooling to see if she could make money in that field. It hasn’t turned out how it was portrayed to her! The important take away here is that she is 100% blameless. Ramit is saying school’s don’t do a great job informing about reality, etc. I mean…I sort of disagree, also some teenagers have kids, get married, enlist in the military- but I never hear white collar people outraged over that. Just college debt.
Ramit’s asking her again about manifesting her way out of the debt. She says her manifesting isn’t cutting it. But maybe ALEX is the key. Ramit’s like, “in other words, you need help?” She says yes that she can learn from him. Ramit says Alex has $150k debt. HOLY GUACAMOLE. $138k is student loans, $20k cc debt, which Ramit asks about. Alex was “top 5% of his class” but didn’t have any education around finances and he didn’t think much of the first $40k-$50k which was just for undergrad. I’ll let that sink in. I’m sorry, but you do not have to be a wolf of wall street to know that $50k is a lot of fucking money. Computer exist. Anyway after the $50k he realized his major didn’t train him for anything, took the MCAT didn’t do well, then he worked for a while and that wasn’t going anywhere, so grad school and then applied to med school again. LOLOLOL. Then he realized he didn’t want to finish school- so he dropped out. The credit card debt is from moving with no plan and then bailing out their failed business.
Ramit is talking to us about impulsivity and how people cover up impulsiveness with fancy words. I agree. He’s like, if you’re creative and intuitive, read a book! He wants us to know that money is fun but it’s also serious because it’s real life shit!
Ramit tells them that they use intuition to play small. He says intuition is a tool, Ramit’s wife is intuitive, and he’s opened his eyes to it. BUT if you use intuition only it’s maybe not a good idea. Simile AllHat says it’s like using a fire hose to put out a candle or a hacksaw to warm a baby bottle.
Ramit asks how big of a deal it was thinking about the wedding. She says 10. Ramit says he notices they aren’t talking about anything bigger. Like a house, travel, future, etc. He says they are using intuition to obscure things. Charlotte agrees, she never thought of it that way. This brings her back to her childhood. Jeepers creepers, like move on lady, lol. Catalina Island is the elopement, btw. It’s pretty, I’ve been there. Ramit’s like, you’re just playing within the bounds of what comes to you. He says, “you will never trip and fall your way into a rich life”. Rich life takes planning, investing, logistics, etc. It also takes intuition, but not only intuition.
Ok, can I sidebar? I can because this is my walrus. That isn’t a real phrase but who cares. Intuition is real but it isn’t just fanciful wishes and hopes. It is, IMO, the culmination of life experience, interconnected thinking which allows for the quick identification of patterns, and fast multifaceted observation which allows a person to make snap decisions that end up being correct. It’s way too self-aggrandizing to think it’s anything else. I mean it’s still an awesome and valuable skill, but it’s just a skill humans evolved to have- some more than others. Back to the show!
Charlotte agrees there’s more she wants, but reminds us again how grateful she is. She doesn’t want to live small. Alex says he wants to change too because he feels more anxious and stressed than he wants to be. He wants to feel confident in his lifestyle. He says they have a rich life already, they’ve traveled a lot and done things not everyone has done, and “we figured it out!” um no you’re in crazy pants debt, lol, but he says he wants to be more stable for if his family needs help and to be less stressed. He wants to be able to buy a homestead.
Ramit asks why they think they’re still living paycheck to paycheck even though their income doubled. Charlotte says she’s had a lot of beliefs about money that haven’t been serving her. Ramit agrees and asks if there’s a woman she admires who’s good with money, even fictional character. She says yes, “Almost 30” Krista Williams? IDK who this is. Ramit asks what’s the difference between the two of you. She says theoretically nothing, she could be where she is financially, but one thing is that from a young age Krista loved making money and associated it with independence and freedom. Ramit’s like and you associated it with what? She says burden and sacrifice. You’d think she grew up in the depression or something, lol. I feel like she’s skating around words like WORK ETHIC and DISCIPLINE but close enough. I’m guessing Krista didn’t assume she would magically be gifted money with no effort.
Ramit’s forging ahead, ok so what about behaviors she does that are different. Charlotte says she takes action and makes plans. Ramit’s asking her if she’s (Krista) read a book on money, if she talks about money with other women around her, if she plans. Charlotte says yes and that you can’t just “let go and let god” but that it does seem to work for the bare minimum and basic needs (NO IT DOES NOT) but she wants more. Oh good. I was worried she didn’t want enough, lol. That’s definitely the problem here.
Ramit is like plz get more specific about behaviors you need to change. She says she needs to ask Alex more questions. I am so curious what her business is–did anyone else forget about that? She says she doesn’t know anything about their shared business’ finances. Ramit asks how she’ll know what to ask. She admits research, she needs to read a book. She found Ramit’s book in a thrift store THE DAY AFTER she got the word they’d be on the podcast. What a sign! Ramit’s like, this is serious, I mean I like joking with you but I want you to take this seriously! He’s being light in how he says it tho.
Now Ramit wants to know their RICH LIFE. We are fighting against INVISIBLE SCRIPTS. So we need rich life details. I always find this part boring because I just do not believe it’s the way out of financial trouble for people like this who spend so far beyond their means already.
Good food, travel (she does a solo trip every year already but would also like a couple’s trip and an additional 4 family trips per year). This sounds like a good plan with homesteading, which they also want to do. The magical chickens can take care of the magical rabbits while they’re away. I’m sure local vegan foxes will intuitively steer clear. And crows flying overhead will feel an intense pull as they pass oere the blessed land, “look!” they’ll exclaim using the telepathy all crows have, “a darling and romantic yet low-maintenance and also free homestead which houses good people we shall land there and till the fields for them in their absence, and when they return we shall build them an altar of rubies and heirloom tomatoes FOR THEY ARE THE GODS OF THE CROWS NOW.”
Regenerative agriculture, preserving things, she’s still going. Ramit asks what that costs and she goes, “You’re asking the wrong person” Haha. She says she deflects because she’s uncomfortable and ashamed and if it’s so important to her to live her life this way she should know. Yes girl, first real thing you’ve said, lol. OH LORD. She wants livestock. BAHAHAHAHAH. I will pay any amount of money to watch this happen. I will buy them the fucking homestead myself if someone makes it a reality show. This is like those people who are all “I could totally live in the 1800s”.
Alex is super happy they’re talking about the homestead, he looked up how much cows cost. He is moved emotionally. Ramit thinks this is all awesome, he loves seeing this. He’s trying to show them that talking about numbers can be fun and exciting because it’s actionable. They think the homestead is $700k. Ramit tells her she’s so good at being intuitive (receipts, plz) but that they can also be more analytical and that can help them achieve dreams. Ramit wants them to meet once a week to talk money and get two copies of his book and have a little book club and read a chapter a week and then discuss. That’s actually not a bad idea.
I’m tuning out because even I have limits, haha, it’s pretty much over now. You know what I kept thinking about through all of this? When I was a hardcore christian back in the day (pre-converting obv) I remember a priest telling us a popular story in school about faith. Ah, I found it. Anyway I couldn’t stop thinking about that because it’s common in Catholic circles. I’m about to go manifest some din-din into ma belly now. BYEEEEEEE.
xoxo
Gossip Squirrel
Fin.
TW SNARK: I snark heavily on the concept of manifesting in this one, but that is primarily because of this specific individual’s interpretation of it. I am aware of other more nuanced interpretations, to each their own, all in good fun, etc.
I am already worried. How is she making no money if he got both of them jobs in NC? I bet the universe prefers her *~*following her dreams*~*.
I wonder if this was the line her parents gave her senior year of high school to cut her off?
Blockquote
I need to relisten. So, uh. Why did this guy spend money he didn’t have to save his girlfriend who didn’t have money because she wasn’t working. This is scary to me, in that it feels like she’s taking advantage of him but wouldn’t be labeled that way explicitly because of their respective roles, and rings true for ex religious hetero dynamics in my experience to bring it back to programming.
I hope you have a massive Twitter following if that’s your thing because this knocked me out of my chair 
I think the business was that they were both gonna be personal trainers but then… didn’t end up finding enough clients or something? Or am I misremembering?
Idk I might have skimmed this transcript too quickly because ooof now I’m wondering if I interpreted her too charitably!
She is, apparently, a “Modern Tarot Maven + Life Editor.” https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/?hl=en
Life editor, but not a budget editor.
Sometimes I really wonder why Ramit chooses to focus on some things and not others. So much effort to convince that one woman in a prior episode to close her failing business, but no insight into this woman who wants to travel and own a homestead (a traveling homestead? A circus?) but has no income and massive debt?
new favorite phrase!
I wanted more out of this. Like he just kinda let the debt go after this point! If you love manifesting so much, why don’t you elope with it already!!
I am feeling there was a whole lotta stuff that didnt come out well in the transcript…
I was thinking that too until they got to his debt!
The way they both spoke about past decision making was very similar. I think that’s what Ramit was trying to get at during the part on student loans, because plenty of people make huge dumb mistakes as teenagers which affect them later in life (even for years and years), like it’s nothing to be ashamed of… it’s just part of life and growing up and maybe for these two that lesson was money-related. But it’s one thing to say, “Looking back, I should have done research and thought for myself. I was smart enough to read the paperwork carefully and educated myself the second I knew I’d be managing my own debt, but I didn’t. I’ll never ever ever make a mistake like this again, what a learning experience.” What they both said was essentially “injustice!!! unfair!!!” and I get feeling that way initially when you first realize your error because you’re pissed off…but these two aren’t that young (29/31). They’ve had time and space, and even after going so far into debt for undergrad the guy went even farther with more school, so he literally repeated the exact same mistake again several years later not as a teenager.
Oh and haha, thanks for the compliment! I don’t use any social media other than OMD but I like that you think I’d be cool on Twitter 
I know, right? I don’t understand why their income is what it is either- I was super surprised he didn’t ask why their business is only netting them a combined $70k.
With the homestead and travel thing, and the manifesting part too, my feeling was that she still fully believes her manifesting has mostly worked. In a way things have superficially worked for her, because she travels all the time, doesn’t work, spends whatever whenever, and she isn’t stressed about the debt, so she thinks that will just continue forever. I mean she has essentially gotten away with it by shifting things onto Alex or who knows else. And she is still getting the wedding she wants, etc. I don’t think she’ll change a thing until it affects her in a way that matters to her, like she can’t have something she wants.
She reminded me a little of drinkers who just haven’t quite accepted what a mess they’re in yet because they still have a job and family and don’t have a DUI or whatever. Like, I felt like she was saying the equivalent of, “Oh I totally agree it’s a problem and that I need to change. For sure! I’ll switch to drinking just beer and wine.” But it’s like…uh…girl your problem is a lot bigger than that. I wonder if she believes student loan forgiveness will wipe things out?
Oh also, Ramit’s part about how bitter people are about student debt reminded me of this video of his that I watched. It’s definitely worth a watch. I really like being able to see Ramit because he’s trying so hard to hold his tongue but I feel like he has SO MUCH TO SAY to this guy, haha. I’d love to be at the kitchen table with him and his wife when he debriefs and isn’t watching every word he says. The comments section is great, too.
Oh yeah, remember that one episode where he grilled the woman who has always gotten what she wants about what the consequences have been? None of that happened here. It’s so strange how soft he was on these two.
I think that was the first business? So they started one business and it failed, then they moved when they got jobs, and now they have a business again. That’s my understanding at least, I might have gotten it mixed up. I think I actually did reverse the order that they moved to each state too, haha, it was kind of confusing.