Yeah I agree. I like that he talks about tipping really well but he doesn’t touch on how spending can have virtues in that community sense. Maybe he feels it’s implied?
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It may be partly cultural, too. My SO is not into generalized charity at all, but we give a lot to family members. I am guessing Ramits south Asian family may be similar.
I have definitely shifted more toward wanting to spread my spending to benefit others.
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That’s why I was surprised he also didn’t mention the community effects of spending, which I would have seen as spreading around the community. He didn’t mention money to family members either, from the couple I’ve read so far.
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There’s an episode about giving to inlaws and differing cultural expectations, it’s a good episode!
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Oooh maybe I’ll do that one next
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Episode 7!
And that makes sense it would be a cultural difference. I couldn’t afford to give anything to charity if I had to support extended family members. It’s like built in giving.
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Yes, I feel that it’s cultural as well. My extended family is also super generous toward family members but not outside, as far as I know.
Marmalade grew up poor and he really feels like he made it and it’s really important that he gives back to those in need. In contrast, my South Asian friends who came from a wealthier background (especially those from business families) don’t seem to do much charity at all. But I don’t think it’s about affording it but rather, if you’re going to give financial assistance, give to people you actually know. Why would you help strangers?
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You could write him 
He reads all his email and will probably respond!
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i have been really digging the podcast all except a couple of times when he gets real shirty about weight and fitness being like finances. it’s not, really, and i actually had to unsubscribe from his newsletter cause he kept bringing it up.
but the podcast is good. there are a couple of episodes i had to turn off because i just couldnt with the particular couple’s communication patterns – some of them are upsetting to me. but i can just skip them, and the other ones are great. i think my fave was the recent two parter with the dude who sounded like a devotee of the other place and the wife who has just wanted to buy a couch for like a dozen years.
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That is an excellent summary of the 2 parter (EPs 21/22)
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Just read through this one. Ouch, that is a cultural script with no boundaries. I thought Ramit’s example with buying a house in American culture being equivalent to paying for your parents didn’t go far enough, for me it was more like saving for college for your kids. But maybe that’s my cultural expectations coming through.
They are in for some tough conversations with Barry’s parents. It struck me that the cultural unspoken rules specific to Barry’s family were not exactly “you pay for your parents” but that their sons money was completely their money, no discussion, no warning. How can you plan as a family unit to even buy your own groceries if you could, at any moment, get a phone call telling you to hand over thousands?
I have a friend who bought her mother’s house back in her home country and pays for all her mother’s and sisters expenses, other than the bit of money her sister’s business brings in, but this is a whole other level.
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I’m excited for the cultural expectations one!
Re charity and family. My partner is super against giving to most western style charities. He grew up with direct giving to people who really needed it. So we support immediate family - the apartment is probably worth $2100/month. Plus an aunt at about $100/ month. He very much used to just give several thousand to family on zero notice but now can’t afford to.
When we discuss charity, if there’s extra in the budget he will send a few 100 extra through a relative to give directly to the destitute.
Tbh, a lot of organizations that are trying to provide aid hut roadblocks and he’s seen aid going to the Taliban instead of displaced people. So I understand not trusting organizations.
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Oh for sure! And I can definitely see the cultural idea of giving directly instead of to a third party, or taking on a family member’s expenses (beyond children). Paying for family is an area I clash culturally with Ponder. Despite coming from the same cultural group our immediate family cultures are slightly different (I lean more “pay for others and direct charity”, he leans more “everyone pays for their own”, but the general lean for our overall culture is “everyone pays for their own”) so I thought the discussion around “within the same cultural group, slightly different expectations exist as well” was very interesting.
I’m really keen to read your thoughts on the cultural expectations one!
Edited because I missed half my sentences 
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Ugh okay adding this to my podcatcher. At least it seems like there isn’t a massive backlog yet…
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Listening to the $8million strawberry episode. I dunno man. So far it seems like he spends a lot of time moralizing and opining and not much time actually interviewing. I’ll try another couple episodes but this may not actually jive with me.
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Um, so ep 22 goes straight for the communication feels. I’m not completely sure which feels, though…
We definitely have some circling/not giving clear answers behaviors on both sides, though thankfully we are always very clear about money.
Also, I think I would have difficulty spending on myself if I wasn’t earning, unless/until we have a kid.
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It depends on the couple. Some of them he really guides them to psychological breakthroughs.
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Me too, I feel like even if you give to a big organization here, how much money isn’t going for aid? For example, when I had just started working I donated $25 to the World Wildlife Fund. But then the next thing I knew they sent me a glossy color newsletter that seemed completely unnecessary. And I’m like, if you’re wasting money on this, what else are you wasting money on? Now I mostly give to organizations that people I know have personal involvement with (know that the money is being used well) or recently, to arts in Portland during the shutdown.
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Going to live my Rich Life today!! Meeting my friend for lunch and I’m going to order everything I want, which is two appetizers and a blini (Russian crepe). If it wasn’t for reading all those podcast transcripts yesterday, I’d probably just get borscht and the blini but really I want little smoked fishes too! Small steps, right? 
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Yeah, I was really struck by this too. I have friends whose cultures expect them to support family, especially parents, but it was like, “I pay my mom’s (very small) mortgage” or “I send money back to Home Country to pay for my sister’s tuition.” Not a case where just out of the blue they’re expected to make thousands of dollars materialize with no notice. That must make it very difficult to budget.
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