Bit by bit, AllHat. THE SAME WAY RAMIT TELLS PEOPLE TO DO IN HIS BOOK.
PUH-REACH.
Wow.
Did he literally actually say this??? Lord this one was irritating and I didn’t even listen to it. I’m still secondhand annoyed.
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ACTUAL SPITTAKE
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This nearly 50% killed me 
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He sure did, lol.
(And thanks for the other comments all! Sorry for not replying I was enjoying the great outdoors today!)
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This is my favourite bit. I’ll read the rest later 
so glad you had a great day!
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Ha ha ha ha ha
Wonderful as always, thank you.
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We do not do dinner parties. We are also introverts with social anxiety, tho.
Very amused by the whole “pretending it isn’t catered” schtick. I am alllll about telling people how we hacked it to make it easier on us.
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Wow, I am convinced that Ramit strategically held off on mentioning his book earlier in the podcast and now it’s full steam “promote book”. Kinda like playing a phone game where it’s ad-free until you’re hooked and then here come all the ads!!! And not being subtle about it.
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Cabins vary, but I doubt they’re staying in a shack Ramit is definitely a city boy
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I am looking forward to @AllHat’s live react on this week’s episode (Olivia & Rob) - there’s a lot to react to. I really want to know what kind of business she is trying to run, but if she said what it was, I missed it.
This one had no follow-up letter. To me, she sounded like an unhappy camper by the end. I’ve got my doubts that this couple is going to make it over the long term.
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Taking a break in my busy schedule of watching old Frontline documentaries on YouTube to bring you
Episode 41 Live React- Part 1
Woah! Ramit got a new microphone or sound mixer or something, his voice sounds way lower and smoother- like a nice cup of folgers! Rich. I want you all to know that the very first sentence of this recording is, “You know, I wrote a book on money, and honestly I would rather be eating tacos than calculating my spending every month. Nobody wants to do that!” he laughs jauntily to no one. So, in case you missed that dear readers: RAMIT WROTE A BOOK. Ramit writing a book is like every white kid ever who goes to a developing nation to do work for like, 6 months, and then never ever ever shuts up about it.
He’s still talking to us. We aren’t living our rich life if we are stuck in spreadsheets. Ramit’s money is automated. Guess what we need to be smart? A free quick start guide which I’m sure doesn’t end with a hard sell.
Show music is starting, clips are playing, we’re about to get down and dirty. These two sound emotional. I’m excited, let’s go!
Today we have Rob and Olivia. Rob makes $70k and Olivia makes $20k, they only have $5k in savings and $1,500 in investments ( 
. The lack of savings is what’s blasting them into my earholes today. I look forward to Ramit being totally mystified as to why Olivia presumably feels self-conscious or like there is a lack of equity in the relationship. It’s probably her period!
Olivia says she’s an entrepreneur and that she told Rob this upfront so it’s unfair for him to be upset now. Anti-MLM Crusader AllHat is nervous already because in her humble little experience successful entrepreneurs rarely introduce themselves as such, instead they tend to say, “I run x business” or “I’m a business owner, the shop on x street is mine,” or “I’m a contractor/freelancer/consultant/etc.” The only exception I can think of is super wealthy venture capitalists who sometimes say it as a brush off answer…but they usually make a lot more than $20k a year.
Rob’s all “you’re going on 5 years now” he feels that’s enough time to make it work and it isn’t working. This makes Olivia feel “like a bad partner and bad entrepreneur”. Raised With Brutal Honesty AllHat agrees with the latter part of this statement.
Ramit’s talking to us. He says Rob works full time and is frustrated that he has to carry the financial burden. Olivia splits her time between part-time work and her business and Rob thinks she’s not making enough. Oh man, this business is definitely going to be a scam, isn’t it? Rob thinks she should just get a job and quit the business. Ramit says sometimes one partner decides to make a change but it affects both people! He’s here to help tho. We’re going to start, he says, with how they describe a trip to a furniture store to illustrate how their income disparity is impacting their lives.
Olivia says the stuff Rob liked was too expensive for their budget. She kept having to say “no it’s too much”, and each time she could feel how frustrated Rob was. Ramit wants to know the price difference. She wanted to spend between $1000-$1500 and Rob wanted to spend more like $2000+. Let’s get ready for Rich Guy Ramit to be flummoxed at such a teeny tiny insignificant to him difference. Olivia says it’s too much money because they just bought a home, need to be mindful, etc. Ramit asks if Olivia is usually the one pushing for lower price, she says yes. They ended up paying $1800, so it was a compromise, says Olivia.
Ramit’s like, “Well then what’s the problem?” She says it worked in the end but was highly stressful as a process, and maybe didn’t need to be. Huh, this is weird. She says she wished they could just look at the couches or whatever and decide based on style alone. So, her solution is that they have so much money that there is no budget at all? If unlimited money is what’s required for marital harmony you are…not a team. She confirms that a higher budget would make it easier. Ramit is as confused as I am. He is also suspicious that this would make a difference.
Rob’s talking now. His take on the furniture store outing. It was frustrating to not afford things! WAHHHH! Sorry, I just find this line of “I’m frustrated I don’t get to have whatever I want” to be…not super noble. Seems like something that should be gotten over in childhood to me but whatever. He says some of his frustration is that they don’t have to be in this situation, I think he’s referencing his wife’s low income. Yes, this is correct. He’s talking about the entrepreneurship failure, but he’s being pretty kind IMO. Like, very soft in his language. He says they could reach financial goals faster if she just got a job. Barely Passed Pre-Algebra But Owns a Smartphone AllHat can’t help but think these two still have a household income of $90k, and should be doing totally fine on that!
Ramit asks how long the business has been a thing. She says FOUR YEARS. Sweet Jehoshaphat! She says she’s always only done it part time but also does some contract work and consulting on the side to supplement the “business”. She thinks if she dedicates full time hours to the business she’ll make real progress. Has Been Self-Employed AllHat vehemently disagrees, having built her own little business while working full time. This is so stupid! Your pay still correlates to hours worked, so like, for a while I only worked like 15 hours a week but I made like $30k, which you can correctly assume means if I’d worked 40 hours I’d make close to $80k–which is excellent. What she’s saying is the home cook equivalent of saying, “I tried to host a dinner party for 10 people and it was a disaster! I couldn’t get any of the food out in time and lots of stuff was raw or burnt. So instead I’m going to host a dinner party for 100 people, because that will be easier.” This woman does not have the mind of an entrepreneur.
Rob and Olivia agree on the problem though: they need a bigger budget. She feels like she should be able to afford more now, at her age. That’s telling, so she’s one of those that assumes age just sort of brings riches and wisdom along as part of the package. She says she gets Rob’s sentiment about the business not working- but he knew she was an entrepreneur when he married her and she was up front about her earning. She feels like now he’s upset all the sudden when he knew what he was getting into. I think she’s also being pretty kind towards him tho, and not overly emotional. She says they talked about this pre-marriage very loosely but they only talked about it in real numbers as they were going through the process to qualify for a mortgage, after marriage. Risk Averse AllHat cannot fathom being ok with that chain of events but knows it’s very common. Ramit is also shook.
Rob says he’s been patient. He said he was ok with her quitting her full time job to do this, he went to “shows” with her, was supportive, etc. He felt the load wasn’t even. She says she wants to work for herself 100% of the time but she can’t do that because then there’s more stress on him. He says “a good entrepreneur can realize when something’s not working and can adjust.” AMEN! Oh man, then she says, “but I’ve never lost money!” GIRL. And anyone really, but GIRL. If you have to have a separate job to feed your business: it is a hobby. We’re only 12 minutes in, by the way.
Rob says, “but you’re not thinking about the opportunity cost!” YES ROB. You are my people. Oh man, I think she’s just delusional about the business because she loves being an “entrepreneur” because when Rob said that she could make more if she just got a full-time job her response was, “but I could make more money if I quit my part-time job and just did the business!” I feel bad for her, honestly, I don’t think she understands very basic stuff. Rob feels like she’s had enough time to make it work. Olivia says, “Ramit we need a mediator at this point,” she’s getting more tense.
Ramit says this sounds like a conversation they’ve had a million times, right after Olivia tells him exactly that. He wants to know what they’re getting out of it and asks if they enjoyed it. They both sound pissed, lol. They agree they’ve had this conversation a lot before, though. Olivia says she gets nothing out of it. Ramit disagrees. He asks what she felt. She says, “like I made a point and stood up for myself”. Usually Kind of a Bitch AllHat is frankly pretty impressed with Ramit right now. It makes her feel honest, invested, and like someone who doesn’t back down. I like his whole thing about how people usually get something out of the patterns they repeat. She says it feels like a pseudo-resolution, like it feels like she’s communicated even though it just comes up over and over again.
Ramit’s talking at us about self-development. People talk about change but don’t change, etc. People making excuses, etc. I agree and everything it’s just been said before.
Rob says this cycle damages their relationship, hurts Olivia. Olivia says it does hurt her a little bit. He asks if she wants him to stop being too aggressive or impatient. Ramit tells him to ask her, “what does it feel like to you?” and this is where she says it makes her feel like a bad partner and bad entrepreneur. Authentic Journalist AllHat wants to point out to her sexy ass readers that Rob does not sound aggressive at all. In fact I’d describe his tone as almost…demure? Soft? He’s very light touch with her but her reaction is pretty emotional and the sad violins in the background aren’t helping.
She feels bad for not contributing equally to her marriage, and she says she thinks that’s unfair and knows Rob thinks it’s unfair. Nancy Grace Style Speculator AllHat wants to make some wild guesses. Methinks that Rob did indeed agree to this arrangement of being primary breadwinner. In the moment of agreement it probably made him feel very manly and gallant like a knight of yore. Unfortunately, he is not actually that noble or generous and so now he’s getting bitter. He would, I think, like to be the kind of man who can be the breadwinner while still seeing his wife as equally contributing and valuable, but he doesn’t. He wants and has probably always wanted 50/50 but also probably was too much of a…small kitty cat…to say that in the moment when she actually told him about her finances. He wanted to be that guy! But he’s not. Back to the show!
She’s crying. She feels aware of the fact that she’s not in the income bracket she wants, not where she wants to be in her career. She sounds very upset. Oh man, she says, “I feel like you have to suffer on account of me” I mean…that’s kind of fucking dramatic y’all. You make $90k, lmao. Rob interjects that his criticisms are coming from a place of love. Olivia says where they come from doesn’t impact how she feels. Rob’s asking if they can work through this, what can they do to make it better? She says less pressure and more support. GIRL. Going on 5 years is enough support. She basically wants him to believe in her and he doesn’t. He asks if she’d be willing to think about an alternative work setup. She’s sighing. She doesn’t want to. I think he’s really trying. She doesn’t like “the vocalizations of his concerns” like when he says “it’s not working”.
I’m more on Rob’s side overall despite him being totes not my type. She is super unreasonable though, and I’m sorry but if someone telling you that your 4+ year old business that doesn’t even make $20k a year is failing makes you cry. Uh. Probably the business world is not for you. Or like, the actual real world. How do people like this function? It blows my mind imagining what their lives have been up to this age if they have such thin skin. Was it just like…constant praise and trophies or something? IDK it’s fucking wild to me though.
Ramit interjects that Rob’s concerns are valid and he should share them now. Rob says he feels the pressure. They’re barely making ends meet. Jeebus. He wants to fix it. Sounds dejected. If they keep following this course he doesn’t know if it’ll get better and that makes him anxious and stressed out. Ramit’s like, “Olivia do you want to ask him any questions?” and she sighs like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and says, “IDK at this point…” like it’s not even fucking worth it. Ramit’s like, “uh…really?” and so am I. She accepts that he’s anxious and worried and Ramit asks if she wants to know what he means by that, I mean I sure as shit would. She asks but sounds like it’s at gun point and like she does not give a solitary fuck, “When you’re anxious, ROB, what does that look like for you?” This chick is ICY.
Rob says, mortgage payments, what if the car breaks down, don’t want to have to get a loan for something like replacing the roof. He knows it’s compounded now because they bought the home (stupid decision IMO). She asks how long he’d be willing to support her “being an entrepreneur” and what his cutoff date. My eyes have rolled so far back in my head I can see my hairdo. Cute today! She sounds fucking pissed even though she’s talking in a calm way. She’s like, “what would be an acceptable figure?” Ramit’s like, “I don’t think this is the right route.” Ramit’s like, “you both like to go to tactics and timelines and then you both get pissy” ok he didn’t say pissy but he might as well have. He says for them, honest is just code for hurtful.
Olivia sighs again and admits she sort of sees Rob’s concerns. It’s true they sometimes can’t afford things. Ramit asks if she’s ever told Rob that she understands his concerns. Another BIG SIGH. “I feel like I have, but IDK if I’ve ever said it that literally.” LOL. Ramit is making her. She sounds like a kid being forced to apologize for breaking something.
Nancy Grace AllHat is back. I super wonder what Olivia’s background is. I get the sense, although she isn’t saying it, that she is pissed off that Rob doesn’t make more money and isn’t ok just being permanent breadwinner and cheerleading anything she does. I also get the sense that she grew up very upper middle class, but thought it was middle class standard, and simply assumed she would get that standard of living as well, with zero strategizing or effort. I have known a lot of people in this category and they simply cannot fucking believe that they have to budget, not have things, save up, etc. The “by this age” part is what really makes me think that, because that exact phrasing is so common among this type of person. Back to the show!
Rob says it feels good to hear her say that. But nary a smile is in sight, methinks. IDK why I’m talking like that, haha, I’ll stop. Ramit’s talking at us. Honesty is code for being hurtful, he says. He plugs a book by Marshall Goldsmith which I missed the title of. Talking about “the excessive need to be me” which I intuitively agree with on some level.
Ramit asks if Olivia knows what number would make Rob feel less scarcity. She doesn’t know, maybe $40k-$50k. She’s never asked him either. Ramit says she’s never asked because she was too busy being “honest”. She sounds so pissed, lol, but has no rebuttal. Ramit says they just pass their anxieties back and forth. She’s asking Rob now what would make him comfortable. He says maybe a schedule or detailed plan and more honesty with that plan. But Ramit’s like, what if she does that and then the business doesn’t change for 6 years will that still be ok? Rob says, “well maybe if I make more money by then…” I fucking knew it. Ramit asks how much he needs to make. Rob says they’re almost there, maybe an extra $20k which he thinks translates to $2k a month. So he thinks that $90k is unsustainable but that $110k would be fabulous? X- lol.
Ramit is pointing out that they’re basically fine now, financially. They live in a HCOL area, no surprise there as that usually adds to some personality types being pissed they don’t have more riches. Ramit says their housing is at the upper bound of what it should be, but not cray cray. Ramit admits, tho, that there’s not much extra which is reflected in their savings and investments which he agrees is modest at their ages, I don’t think they said their ages tho. Ramit says if it were him he’d be pretty nervous in their situation. Ramit also mentions that Rob keeps using the word “freedom” and how not-present that is in their life. Ramit says the third issue is they are not a team. I’m going to send that young man a pie! Mama AllHat is proud of Ramit’s mad counseling skills in this one. He asks, how do you think we could solve this?
Rob says budgeting, being realistic, investing, having a plan, more mindful, more active. I don’t think Rob runs the show though, lol, so good fucking luck with that bro. Ramit’s like, “nuh-uh girlfriend, that ain’t gonna do it!” but in manspeak. He wants them to go beyond the obvious answers. He’s talking at us. Says lots of phrases make us feel good but don’t do anything for us. Ramit wants more detail from Rob. So do I because this guy has the assertiveness level of a snail.
Rob just keeps saying “making sure to plan and put money where it needs to go”. Olivia says she could re-evaluate her career and, I fucking love her phrasing because it says a lot about her personality, “make some definitive positive changes, what I deem to be positive changes, for my own business.” What about your benefactor, ma’am? Ramit’s like, SPECIFICITY PLZ. Her goal is to “generate more revenue”, oh lordy. Ramit asks how much and instead of answering she asks a clarifying question about “what parameters?” This person is never going to make it in business. How embarrassing to not be able to instantly answer that question. She speculates that if she could make $10k more by next year she’d be happy with that, and to one day make about $50k a year. These are terrible goals. She is way too easy on herself, lol. She wants to make $30k a year, she says, but we do not know the breakdown of the $20k she is making now. I suspect almost 100% of the $20k is from her part-time job and not the business or else she’d be bragging about her revenue. This is so meaningless!
Ramit’s like, wait only $10k more? She says just for a yearly goal, to take from $20k to $30k. She loves saying the words, “my business”. She thinks Rob would feel better if he saw progress. Rob says, “yeah?” and then he says, “but Olivia that $20k includes the jobs you work part-time, you can’t lump that together as business revenue.” THIS. She’s like. “well I would obviously at this point have to continue consulting” completely missing the point that she literally can’t even calculate revenue. She thinks more time is the answer.
Ramit isn’t buying it. He’s going to gently push her. He thinks she needs to believe in herself and think bigger. IDK if that’s this person’s problem but ok. Olivia insists that within 3-5 years she could make $50k. Ok, she’s 31 years old. Ramit rightly points out that her timeline for making $50k is way too long. He’s like, you want to wait until you’re 35-36 before making $50k? She says she’d like to make more but she wants to be realistic. She, the entrepreneur, says she doesn’t think it’s realistic to have a big bump like $20k-$30k in a year in her field. The field she chose to go into business in. I am staggered. What does she think being an entrepreneur is? There are only two possibilities here. One is that she’s such a bad entrepreneur she can’t identify opportunity and so went into a field based purely on emotions without thinking about demand, and there is no demand. The second is that she’s such a bad entrepreneur that she assumes no one else in her field is making more than she is, even though they are. Neither is great.
Ramit points out to us, his precious listeners, that she doesn’t understand opportunity costs and doesn’t actually compare her earnings to the market. Ramit says she is underselling herself. Ok we finally have a number, she made $8,000 in her business last year. OMG. Ramit asks what she thinks she should make in a business that contributes to her life, at age 31. She says more than $50k a year. Ramit agrees. He says, if you’re putting in all this work…as an entrepreneur, you ideally want to be making more than you could at a full-time job. He wants her to give him a number that, you know, accounts for her time. She pulls $75k out of thin air but says it with a question mark at the end. She says her lifetime goal is to make seven figures annually, but she knows to take it step by step. I don’t even have a funny quip for that revelation. I’ll just let it sit there like a turd that won’t flush down.
She thinks she is being realistic by setting modest goals. Ramit points out she’s never made more than $10k a year…for five years. Ramit says think back to being 20 years old, god my ass looked amazing, oh her? Fine. Ramit says her dreams have decreased, going from upper middle class goalz to hoping that over the course of 10 years of a business, she might be able to make $50k a year. He asks if she realizes her dreams have shrunk. She’s in denial, she keeps saying, “well where I am right now,” I think what Ramit is missing is that she gets a major dopamine hit from talking about her “business” and being an “entrepreneur”. She does not want to give that up.
Ramit’s pushing her to say an amount of money that would be realistic but really change their lives, for total household income. She thinks $150k. Ramit asks where she got that number. Oh man, haha, she says, “well $150k a year divided by two is $75k” meaning she got the number by thinking that $75k a person sounds good. I desperately want to see their credit card bill. She says that “seems like quite a reasonable income”. Ramit’s like…ok.
Ramit wants them to zoom out and describe their rich life. He assures us this isn’t a gimmick. He says the vision is what will keep them focused. It’s more motivating than a spreadsheet. Are spreadsheets the new Target? He wants us to focus on their tone of voice. I’m super excited to see what Olivia thinks $150k life looks like because I’d bet my last dinar that it’s wayyyyy inflated and reflects her upper middle class background, which I’ve decided I’m definitely right about.
Olivia sounds positive for the first time. She’s talking about going to Italy, “and we port from there”, ten day cruise, mediterranean and see cities, try foods, after cruise more vacation, go to “the rest of Europe” and eat “different foods”, landscapes, and maybe family. Haha.
Rob says, totally dead voiced like he knows it won’t happen, “Rome”. He wants to go to the colosseum, presumably because he relates to the gladiators’ plight. In a way, they are the same. Eat pizza. Sit back. Watch the sea. Cocktail. Maybe espresso. He just wants to get away.
Ramit asks how they’d feel in this fabulous life they aren’t working towards having in reality. Side note, but what is with this recent trend in therapy and self help stuff of like imagining perfection (perfect day, perfect life, etc.) and writing it all out in detail? Do you know what I’m talking about? Where people are like, "I live in a gorgeous cottage by the sea. Every day I read for several hours before harvesting cancer curing tomatoes from my garden to make a salad. I get paid to grow flowers and rock babies to sleep, but it’s only part time. I am never stressed, and have a wonderful community, etc etc etc. " That is literally what I would tell someone to do if I hated them and wanted to drive them into deep depression. I’m sure it makes people feel temporarily jacked up, but like…it is literally like an anti-gratitude exercise and I find it totally bizarre. It’s counter to thousands of years of understanding of human nature. Anyway. Back to the show. I’m chatty today! 
Stuffs an entire hard boiled egg in her mouth, but with dignity
Everyone agrees a fabulous European vacation where money is no object and there are no trade offs would feel great! Like accomplishment! Fulfilling, happy, comfort. Ramit asks what this would cost. $10k, we randomly agree. They couldn’t afford it today. Ramit asks if they could afford it if they made $120k. Yep! Totes. Because they’re doing so well watching their pennies now, I’m sure saving will be easier in the future for magical reasons. Ramit says they have a goal of making $120k combined in the next year. They agree. He wants to talk options to boost income $30k. Olivia says to increase her income. Or she and Rob could both do it. Ok, says Ramit, HOW?
Rob says he could get a side hustle. Weekend work. Maybe woodworking? He doesn’t know how but maybe! LOL. Ramit asks if he’d be interested in that. Rob sighs, he’s not sure because their new house they can’t afford also made his commute longer, which means he’s out of the house for 12 hours a day every day that he’s working. No wonder this guy is fucking down. I am getting a much more sympathetic picture of him. Ramit says ok that’s a maybe. Olivia says she could find a full-time job. God she’s still talking about focusing on the business. This woman is determined to go down with the ship.
Ramit’s like: here’s some business suggestions. He says he never wants to tell an entrepreneur to shut down their business. Dream Smasher AllHat does not relate. Ramit says entrepreneurs are kind of delusional and that no matter how bad the business is doing they think they were just about to make it. Yes, I agree, if we are talking about totally untalented entrepreneurs. Ramit says she must set a concrete goal and that if she can’t make it work with her business she has to call it quits. He correctly points out that she’s young and could have lots of businesses but basically needs to shit or get off the pot. She says by next year she wants to generate $50k in income. He’s like, when next year? She says the very end of next year. Ramit’s like, “13-14 months seems way too long”. Dream Smasher AllHat is pleased. Let’s ask Rob! Rob says a reasonable timeframe for the last ditch attempt is 6 months, maybe less, 4 months. He thinks that’s plenty since she isn’t starting from scratch.
Ramit is really trying to get these two bozos to communicate. Is bozo a problematic term nowadays? I hope not because I love how it sounds. BOZO. See? Fun! Olivia thinks she could find a full-time job in a month. She feels very confident about that. She thinks she could make like $40k minimum, $50k max. Ramit says aim for $50k. Yes. This is good. Rob says that would be great. It’s a good labor market. Ramit LOVES her confidence but I don’t believe for a second she’s going to give up this dumb business, whatever it is.
I hit the character limit on the post so stay tuned for part 2.
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I understand both side of this. For some people, it can clarify what is actually important to them and motivate them to change their lives. Like maybe your hypothetical person is working 100 hours a week because they think their job is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING to succeed at, but the exercise shows they would rather have time to read a book and grow magic tomatoes. So they cut back at work and take a gardening 'n wizardry class. Yay real improvement in their daily life!
If it’s just dreaming without practical changes, then it’s counter-productive. I had to stop participating in threads like “what would you do if you won X dollars in the lottery?” THAT was the type of pointless speculation that made me annoyed I still needed to cook my own stupid dinners and didn’t live in Hawaii.
Ramit sounds like he was shockingly competent on this one, but I would still get supes frustrated with Lady Entrepreneur, so thank you once again for filtering this nonsense for us.
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Part 2
Ramit is boring rn and these two don’t have it in them anyway so my mind is wandering. I’m so curious what her “business” is. Based on how much time it takes and the fact that she has to go to “shows” I’m guessing something crafty and super oversaturated. Jewelry? Maybe? That has a shitload of overhead and requires an assload of time and doesn’t usually do well unless you’re, you know, actually a jeweler. So much repetition too. Maybe making soap? Knitting scarves for turtles? IDK. Something like that, I bet.
Ok Olivia is talking again. Ugh she just said, “business journey”. Grumpy Old Man AllHat doesn’t get why people think everything is a “journey” these days. Journeys have destinations. At best she’s on a walkabout. So her goal for proving the business is great is to make $15k in her business in the next 6 months. She says she’s starting to realize setting figures to hit might be beneficial. She also set the $15k goal by taking her current $8k a year and “almost doubling it”. Her entire business and personal finance strategy is around doubling or dividing things in half. Oh good, Ramit is picking up on that. He says she only sets benchmarks based on current numbers instead of what’s possible in the free market. Ramit thinks Olivia can’t look ahead very well. I agree. Unfortunately that is literally one of the key skills entrepreneurs need to have. The other major fucking problem is she is not hungry. You have to be hungry to run a business, even a super tiny business. It’s all the same just the scale is different. I know I’m preaching to the choir at this point but comeeee on.
Ok now she’s saying $50k in the next 6 months to see if the business is good. Ramit’s like, “you look very uncomfortable.” She says she is because she’s used to operating from a “survival mindset”. X. FALSE. People in a survival mindset are hungry and don’t work for free. She is the literal opposite. She thinks it’s fantastical to make $50k. He’s like, you need to push hard and fast or get out of this business! I’m going to plant one on Ramit if he keeps going like this. Now he’s like, your first goal was to make $15k in 6 months, then he says “I’m about to puke” hahahaha. I love Ramit. It’s official. “THAT’S $2,500 A MONTH AFTER FIVE YEARS OF RUNNING A BUSINESS. NO. THAT’S UNACCEPTABLE. I JUST CAN’T ALLOW IT.” He’s like if the best you can squeeze out of a business is $2,500 a month this is not the right business for you.
Oh god, she just said, “it almost feels inauthentic to want more” she’s crying. She says she’s “acclimatized” to the lifestyle her current income provides. Like it feels above her! This feels like when people were talking about how they lost all of their social skills after like a few months or a year of covid, lol. Also THEY ARE EARLY 30s AND MAKE $90K. Their income is the same as mine was at that age and I felt like a fucking balllllller.
Ramit’s talking about the only full-time job she ever had, which was in her 20s at a college. Her other jobs were only part-time. Ramit says she once commented, “I wouldn’t want to go back and work full time somewhere”. Ramit is pointing out that she doesn’t have much experience since her only full-time job was at the college she had attended. And maybe she would like a full-time job elsewhere. YES. This lady needs a job with a salary and benefits. Like, badly. I hope he can push her in this direction because she’d probably be totally adept at that!
Ramit’s like, but in your mind it feels like you’re a failure if you quit this business. Ramit says it’s courageous to look at what’s happening in your life and realize it’s not working. Nice Again AllHat agrees, and wants to hug everyone involved. She is crying and said, “thanks Ramit, it’s nice to hear that.” Aw. Learning and growing, y’all. Everyday.
Ramit is talking to us about his mad skills at using metaphors. Trying To Continue Being Kind AllHat is nodding her head in agreement but her teeth are clenched. Rictus engaged.
We are using a metaphor for Olivia to talk about the situation they’re in now. The “badlands”. Negativity. Not setting good goals. No confidence. No motivation, creativity, etc. She sounds very emotional again. She’s picturing herself at 20 again. Ramit says, “visualize what you’re wearing and what you look like.” Finally, this is about to get good, says Pervert On The Internet AllHat. Nope, it’s a metaphor. BOO! Haha, jk. Kinda. She was more optimistic back in the olden days, happier, carefree. Now that she’s an elderly 31 year old she is burdened, trapped. Ramit asks what’s the difference in what they’re wearing. She says 20s is club wear and 30s is leggings and a hoodie. I’m fucking depressed just listening to this, lol. As Kimmy Schmidt would say, “age doesn’t matter, you can die at any time!”
Ramit’s like, when you’re in the badlands what happens to what you’re wearing? This is fucking trippy, lol, but she’s weirdly responding well to it? She says in the badlands her clothes are deteriorating. There are scars and scratches. It hurts, she says. Ramit is like, you don’t have to be the person in the badlands, did you know that? She says deep down she did but she didn’t even consider it. She admits she’s the one keeping herself there, it’s in her head. She sounds genuine!
Ramit tells us he has a lot of sympathy for Olivia and people like her. He’s talking about one of his classes he offers and how some people don’t have a great business idea and they’re insecure about that. I feel like a CTA is coming, lol. He says they always try to teach that the first idea you have often doesn’t work. That implies super low self-esteem IMO. I’ve had more than a few people tell me that I should do stuff like save my posts on internet fora to make a book “someday”, or expand on something I’ve mentioned online somewhere to make it an article, or try to get rights back on stuff already published, or re-write something that did well and sell it again, or look back over old ideas that I didn’t even finish at the time and re-work them, etc. No. I would never do that because words are free. Ideas are limitless. I don’t need to stick them in a fucking vault! Those words and ideas came out of my mind and I can create more, endlessly. Why would you want to tie yourself to an anvil you thought of years ago?
Ok, Ramit is talking about becoming decisive. He says he would say to himself, “I could spend the next 5 or 10 years of my life trying to squeeze out 1% gains, but I have more to offer the world.” Ramit refuses to believe that. I think he’s kind of getting through to Olivia, honestly, maybe she will take one of his courses? He should give away freebies to people on his show. He’s giving her a good pep talk now. He wants goals to feel freeing to her, helping her focus and move forward. We can all agree on that!
She’s talking about doing a resume, finding a job that pays money, etc. We are getting there! Ramit’s like, ok let’s say you get the job. Now what? Her time frame for evaluating the business is “sooner rather than later” maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a month. Womp-womp. LOL. We’re still going though, things are friendlier. We’re talking about evaluating the business, he’s like, “what if you only made $41k in 6 months?” She says, “I guess I’d re-evaluate then”. Ramit’s like, NO! And slaps her hand. Ok he doesn’t slap her hand but he’s like, NO! You shut it down. She’s like, “yeah”. Ramit asks how she feels about shutting it down. Overwhelmed and nervous, like starting over again. Girl, you aren’t making any money now! She knows progress is possible though. Ramit is like, “right, progress can come from the business…or from CLOSING THE DOOR ON THAT.”
Well IDK what she’ll do but Ramit tried his god damned best on this one. The music is swelling. She says, “in a way your past is irrelevant and you can create any future you want to.” A little bit more rich life chatter, money can be fun, and it’s over.
APPLAUSE.
Fin.
Fully done! I was super fucking loquacious this time so it got loooong.
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LOLOLOLOLOL
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Very true, I fall into a lot of cognitive bias traps where I think what my personality just naturally desires is impossible or morally bad just because of the fact that it’s something I want. Like, if I want to go out for ice cream all the time I can do that. Or, if I want to travel to random places, I can do that because it makes me happy. And doing small things to make yourself happy is definitely something I’m realizing as an adult is actually not negotiable for a successful life, too!
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Ohhh interesting. I encountered an exercise like this in therapy once, many years ago, because it became apparent that I could only envision negative things in the future. It was about tipping my brain’s scale away from fear/worry and considering that maybe, the worst outcome won’t happen, and—even harder for me then, and still somewhat now—something GOOD could happen. But, now that I’m thinking about it again, there was never an emphasis on perfection because that is another worry/fear/pessimism trigger for me.
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I think I’ve seen this in CBT workbooks? Usually the sequence goes “imagine the worst case scenario”, then best case, then you have to describe a detailed middle ground, and then you have to write out what you think is actually likely or plausible. When I’ve seen it it’s been presented as basically redirection for when you’re stuck in catastrophic thinking mode - you don’t tell yourself “nah bad things will never happen” because that doesn’t work, instead you force yourself to envision things in addition to possible catastrophe, and thereby jolt yourself out of doooooom brain.
Of course now I’m also seeing it crop up as like a pop therapy trend like AllHat is describing and um…without the context it does seem painfully depressing to me!
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AllHat your whole writeup is splendid as always.
I feel Ramit did a really good job with this one but wow Olivia was DEEP in delusional entrepreneur territory. I think a lot of entrepreneurs go into business without a plan or any sense of like, opportunity sizing or target revenue or anything - and most small businesses fail in the first year. So Olivia might not be way out of the norm but this was still painful to read.
Nowhere did they end up addressing the whole “are you a team or not” problem, though, I suspect because everyone can kinda see what the answer is. Poor Rob. His answer about “yeah I would feel safer with an emergency fund for like, roof repairs etc” was kind of heartbreaking. YES THAT WOULD BE FREEING, I want that for them but I don’t think they’re going to get it. Because then they would have to spend less money, which is apparently not on the table.
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OMG, good point! Haha, I got so fucking lost in the meandering conversation I forgot that was even a topic at the beginning. 
Hahahahahaha, that’s gold.
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I am still hung up on “we only have 5k of savings so we bought an $1800 couch, because we needed it”
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