I have two kinds of Pile of Garbage Days and I have only recently learned to tell them apart. No, wait. Three. And they all require different approaches to mitigate.
Type 1: The fucked up sleep dumps.
Only solved by sleep. Duh.
Sleeping 14 hrs straight backfires. Better to do 7-9 hr and then naps.
I realize children do/will cause this and interfere with the solution. Sorry.
Type 2: The trying too hard/obliger burnout. When I know I’ve been dealing with people at work, had social demands on weekends, and otherwise doing a lot of things I “should”.
Take a “should” break. Do the minimum.
Introvert, verb, spend time alone-ish in comfy clothes doing soothing, low energy activities (examples follow) [alone-ish can include SO, spouse, bestie, sibling as long as they are undemanding. I realize children will always be demanding and don’t have a good solution for that yet. ]
Read, particularly reread old faves or easy read like YA. Tamora Pierce is my brain’s comfort food in particular. Blankets mandatory.
Shows or movies, ditto. Not too comical or too dark. Happy endings. Cozy blankets mandatory.
Bonus points for cat snuggles, if cat volunteers.
Do satisfying chores/deal with an annoyance (simple). Thirding (or whatever) laundry, also because there’s a lot of waiting compatible with blanket times, and sorting/folding is compatible with re-watch marathons. Dishes and cleaning the bathrooms also happen.
A walk, if it feels good.
Time in a coffee shop or cafe (good bribe for a walk)
Low prep food that feels fancy/like a treat. A prosciutto sandwich, homemade sushi (I can prep in 30min), caprese salad, simple cookies with tea. Pastries and chips always welcome
Type 3: I have lumped too much and am now a sad lump. Maybe I went overboard recovering from type 2, maybe I was just sick or working overtime on a project and collapsing exhausted every night.
Long shower, moisturize, do a mask, etc as feasible. Catch up and go overboard on self care.
Walk. Outside. Maybe to upbeat music.
Do a yoga
Catch up on chores/deal with annoyance(s).
Low key social plans. Share a meal, board games, watch party.
Call/message loved ones
Make and/or eat a vegetable rich meal (salad, stir fry)
Gardening
I tried applying Type 3 solutions to a Type 2 funk last weekend under spouse influence and…Big no go.
Gratitude journalling is a big one for me, especially in getting me into enough of a better space that I can go effectively do the other things on my list. I have a couple of sort of prompts that I will use depending on what I need to snap myself out of? If I’m feeling down on myself, I will use “I’m F***ing amazing because…” (I never usually swear, but weirdly this is one place it really helps me), then the classic “I’m grateful for” if something bad has happened. I also like “I wish x good thing for this person” if I’m feeling like someone is being unreasonable. E.g. Someone has flaked on plans → I imagine they’ve got too much going on and it must be stressful to balance → I wish them some space to breathe and reprioritise.
Putting a solid singalong playlist on and cleaning whilst singing at the top of my lungs.
Taking time to pick out something nice to wear even if I’m just at home.
Hiding my phone and laptop to reduce temptation to doom scroll, and reading at mealtimes etc. instead.
Not weird at all. I mute a bunch of group chats or people on social media/ unfollow etc if I’m in a particular sort of bad headspace.
Getting my hands dirty. Play-dough (homemade. Store bought smells trigger me), or dirt, sand, etc.
Water my plants with the hose, zone out/ meditate while doing it.
Shower
Painting. bad painting, focused painting, playful painting are all different kinds for different Moods.
Move bricks.
Get lost in an easy read, usually romance. As a kid it was fantasy books instead.
Very timely! I’ve been realizing lately that 80% of the time if I’m in a bad mood it’s because I’m overstimulated and I need to turn to low-stress activities with pleasant sensations (cross-stitching, baking, looking out the window and listening to music, washing my face with really good soap)
I’ve had sleep sneak up on me. “Why does everything suck, I’m just going to lay in bed so everyone leaves me alone, I don’t think I’m actually tired though so it’s not like I’ll fall aslee…zzzzzz”.
If at all feasible, go outside in sun. Either porch sitting or walking to park that is a few blocks away. Bonus if I can get near water. See also gardening in some fashion.
Deal with something small that’s annoying me and has an achievable fix. Like, dealing with giant pile of dishes would not qualify, but organizing craft supplies might. Or straightening out the pillows and throws on the couch.
Comfort TV - usually a rewatch of something in the Arrow-verse. Or Project Runway reruns.
Crafting
Wine
Clean shirt, actual pants, brush hair, a bit of makeup. A strong red lip really helps me, silly as it sounds.
Ridiculous pop culture references when discussing big life problems so that Boyfriend and I start laughing our asses off instead of sitting around and being morose. For example, he has an ear infection; Ear 1 is improving but now it seems to have spread to Ear 2. So I informed him that clearly it was a demon and rattled off a bunch of them from various shows or movies that it might be. We decided that Neron (sp?) from Legends of Tomorrow was the demon in his ear and then both about peed ourselves, we were laughing so hard.
I cheer myself up playing with the dog, chatting with friends, snugglin’ with my BF, making some tea. Tending to garden out back. etc… Also cooking nice healthy meal from scratch can be fun.
Being near water
Watching anything Star Trek
Reading John Scalzi
Getting a hug from DH
The $1 soft serve at Sam’s Club
Having a cat curled up beside me
Funny links from friends
Washing and styling my hair
Completing a chore that’s been hanging over my head
Hitting a good golf shot
Exchanging pleasantries with just about anyone
A good 10 minutes of yoga stretches
Laundry cleaned, folded and put away
My husband watches a tiktok/Instagram dude who makes sandwiches from history. After he makes it according to the recipe, he then proceeds to “plus it up,” AKA doctor it to make it taste better by adding condiments, toasting it, etc. today I realized I can apply this method to my daily life. I can plus up my pedicure today by swinging by the Walgreens for a magazine to read during the pedicure! I wonder what other small tweaks I can make to plus up my days. Any ideas?
