Gender Exploration

Oh man, saaaaaaame. Actually, same to pretty much everything you said (except that I will probably never shave again).

I haven’t taken the time to really go through the questions but I hope to make time at some point, because they’re good questions.

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Yeah I shared them and still haven’t had a chance to sit down and introspect on my own answers :woozy_face: hoping to soon lol.

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Parent life!

Actually the one question about “what makes you x, and is it true that it only applies to x” keeps popping up in my head, so I guess I am doing some introspecting. So far I haven’t come up with anything about being a woman that men and nonbinary people can’t/don’t/aren’t.

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Just posted this in my journal but will also share it here:

Having an “I really want breasts” day. Started reading some about feminizing hormone therapy and possible breast size on hormone alone is actually about what I’d want, but not sure how I feel about some of the other likely changes.

Possibly TMI

It seems like PIV sex might be harder to impossible to achieve. I’m much more of a “bottom” than a “top” but I think PIV ability would be important to meet Alchemist’s needs given her preferences.

It’s something I’ll want to think about and do more reading for sure though.

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nsfw talk

If toys are a “no” for your relationship, please disregard. Have you considered harnesses/strap-ons to fulfill that PIV need?

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Summary

I don’t think she would be interested but it’s possible. For example, she’s fine with me using butt plugs when we’re together but when I brought up an interest in having her peg me a while back and hasn’t expressed an interest in trying it since.

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nsfw discussion continued

Okay. I know that when in an existing relationship these can be tricky issues. It does seem like there is a less common market for harnesses for folks with penises, but they do exist if that’s ever on the table for you two.

Have you looked at trying bras and breastforms to just try out how it feels when you see yourself in the mirror?

I’m 100% team do-whatever-you-need-to! I also know very very little about gender confirming hormone therapy.

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I’ve thought about going that route, but even if I have actual breasts, I would actually prefer not to wear a bra unless they ever (unlikely given possible sizes achieved from what I’ve read) became uncomfortable without support. But maybe something inexpensive would be worth trying just to evaluate the aesthetics, hmm.

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@Bracken_Joy would you mind reposting the photos, or a link to the original thread on Twitter? The couple of posts I can see look interesting but I don’t have a Facebook.

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I 100% feel you on the bras! I almost never wear them anymore, I can’t stand them. I’m hesitant to try a binder now, too, because I don’t like how restrictive bras feel. I know they’re different, but it’s hard to put up $$ to go from one tie-down to another.

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I did see this- I’m dragging my feet on doing it because there’s so many :joy: I’ll try to get to it at the baby’s first nap. My biggest problem is that photos often reorder when I post them, I don’t want it to be a jumbled mess. I could just post the main question slides, or maybe I’ll try to get them into a Google doc and share the link or something. :crossed_fingers:

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I’m starting a new job next week and I saw something in the hiring paperwork I thought I’d share - they have a “Voluntary Sharing of Your Gender Identity and Pronouns”. There’s a paragraph or two talking about it just like it was any other boring, commonplace topic like vacation time or insurance, but also saying that some of the employment software they use only has male and female pronouns at this time. Then they have the following check boxes:

I identify my gender as:
Man
Woman
Non-binary
Other [form field]
Prefer Not To Disclose

I wish to be addressed by the following pronouns:
She/her/hers
He/him/his
They/them/theirs
No pronoun; please address me by my name
Other [form field]
Prefer Not To Disclose

Would you like your information to be displayed on the internal company directory? Yes/No

Additional information that you wish to share that may be helpful to us with your transition to our company: [paragraph-sized form field]

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That is fantastic! I wish that was another boring couple of paragraphs and options in my workplace’s paperwork.

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Ah, no worries if it’s too much trouble!

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I took my daughter to six different stores trying to get a copy of this.

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I am here to learn, in general as a fellow human being but specifically as a parent. I don’t know if my kids will question their gender identities at some point (or even if they already do but haven’t told me) but I want to know how to support them if they ever need it. And I know I have a lot to learn!

I have always only felt female, my assigned at birth gender. But those questions @Bracken_Joy posted certainly made me think. I can’t really figure out the answers to them. I’m pretty sure most of what I feel about being a woman has to do with cultural stuff, not some other source. Other than biological things like menstruating and birthing, what makes me a woman? And I don’t think that a person who doesn’t do those things could not also be a woman, so what is there, then? Everything I think of just seems like a social construct. Like @Clare-Dragonfly, I can’t really come up with what I feel or am as a woman that some not-woman couldn’t feel or be. Tricky stuff.

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Experimenting with breastforms lately. Have had some fairly strong dysphoria around wanting more of a bust. Might take some time to figure out sizing and type of bra that gets the look I want but I’m fairly pleased with this so far and have gotten a lot of very positive comments in my main support group.

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I love that first dress! And it’s really good to see you smiling in these pictures. Do you feel good about yourself when you look at these pictures and when you took them?

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Not sure yet! I felt very positive about my first attempt that I posted in my journal (which was almost too perky), but the forms in my size are heavy enough to sag the sports bra, but I’m told that’s normal. I ordered a different bra that’s got adjustable straps to see if I prefer them a bit higher. I could also go a little smaller on the form, but many people are saying they look very proportional.

This is probably going to be a longer evaluation process, but for me it’s worth spending a couple hundred on this to get some lived experience and see if this is something I end up getting out of my system and not liking, or it’s something I like a lot.

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between my tax return and the stimulus bill, both approximately the same amount of money, I think I’m going to set aside a small amount for a binder.

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