I’m sorry I failed at actually mailing you the old ones I have. Are you still interested in trying them?
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Don’t worry about it! I’m trash at mailing things lol.
And I’m good, I think when we looked at sizes/measurements, they would have been too small for me. Thanks for checking back in about it!
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Yeah I think it would have been a “worth a shot” type situation. Still happy to chuck it in the mail if you change your mind. 
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Not sure if you’ve already got one picked out or not but I’ve heard good things about GC2B. They’re the most consistently recommended brand in my support group
no, today is definitely a research day. thank you, I’ll add them to my list!
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Cool, good luck!
guess who got their binders today?
and they fit!
and I am overwhelmed with emotions.
that is all.
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I AM BEYOND HAPPY FOR YOU 
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I keep having dreams about post-top surgery and micro-dosing T. they’re all neutral or positive dreams, but these aren’t things that I think I want right now.
…but now would be the time to get them, if not for COVID. medicaid would cover both.
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I am meeting w my doctor in 4 weeks to start T hopefully (low dose is the plan). We could be buds.
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But also, exploring thoughts is fun! And doesn’t mean you have to do anything with them :)))
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we could def be buds! I’m more likely to start T than pursue surgery at this point. I need to do more research, though, and make sure that I know what all the potential and permanent changes will be. (like I already know about increase in body hair, dropping of voice, and bottom growth, but there’s definitely more than just that.)
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A c n e
And potential male pattern baldness.
And pooooisiblelllyyy increased risk of stroke (same as with birth control hormones in that sense) etc.
Happy research!!!
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So a thing occurred!
I am officially on the road to starting HRT with Testosterone. :3 Had my appointment with my doctor today (and a blood draw a few days ago to make sure everything was hunkey doorey in the 'ol blood and alls well in there).
Lots I don’t quite have nailed down yet-- waiting to hear back from the compounding pharmacy on timeline and cost.
So far the cost to me has been a $10 copay but I’ll also have (2) labs, another lab and another co-pay in (3) months for the check-in about it, and the cost of the Testosterone itself.
As far as trans expenses go, this will likely be a very affordable experiment.
I plan on starting at a low dose, and my doctor is already familiar with micro-dosing. The plan is to see if how it feels is… good. If I feel like it’s not enough or I’m not seeing effects I want, then we up the dose. If it feels no-bueno then we stop.
I explained my concern over balding and it sounds like there is some preventative stuff that can be done, basically hair-loss prevention pills so I will return to the idea with her after a few months of T – no use going on that drug if my dose of T is low enough not to impact hair, and no point if I decide T isn’t right for me. But it was nice to know that there are ~ways~ to mitigate (if not eliminate) that side effect. I think it is easier to manage hair loss/thinning earlier rather than after it’s begun.
Unclear on the prescription cost for that adative.
My doc is really lovely and the experience was very painless. She uses the informed consent model and my insurance is apparently cool with that for HRT (not for other stuff. gerrr) so it was just her… talking to me about risks, side effects, my goals, etc. No need to convince her of anything.
I did have my intake nurse not know how to refer to me a little, which was frustrating. She was clearly just trying to ascertain if I had regular periods and if I could be pregnant. But she asked if I had “female parts but identified as male” instead of … anything useful. We got there. It was just awk.
She did let me not see my weight on the scale tho. So that was nice of her.
SO stay tuned. This little journal for the Trans Experience of An Oro will be more active methinks!
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A really positive way my doc explained the “no one knows how you individually will look or change on HRT” was:
In a way, you’re unlocking the secrets of your DNA. Which is unique to you.
On HRT my body will express what is already inside it. Just… under different circumstances.
I find this fascinating.
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This is so exciting. Congratulations! Your doctor sounds sane and thoughtful and wonderful.
That is a really lovely sentiment. I’ve never seen that articulated that way before.
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That is beautiful and medical and I love it. Happy unlocking
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That sounds like it was a really good experience. So glad you have a lovely doctor to help you navigate this! I’m excited for you!
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I have been generally very uncomfortable discussing gender lately outside of a select group of people. I think because it’s so personal and I’m suddenly existing in many places that aren’t either physically or emotionally safe to be queer in.
I have decided to stop pursuing top surgery for the time being, and have started a combination of testosterone hormone therapy and a DHT blocker, finasteride.
I’ve been thinking of hrt in some form or another for years. When I learned of the existence of DHT blockers, it removed all hesitation, and I felt so much relief. Very basically, it should prevent any male hair patterning. One of my hangups was not knowing whether or not I wanted additional facial hair, and this way I can decide later while still pursuing other changes.
Just a small update, may expand on it later.
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I’m so happy you are on a path that you’re comfortable with and excited by!
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