I managed to clear out some of my yoghurt pot and glass jar collection yesterday, and now it’s sitting in the recycle bin ready for collection tomorrow. Might not sound like much, but some of the things in that cupboard were from my Mum’s time, and no matter what it is, anything related to my family, I find so hard to get rid of. Ditto a large posh paper bag from her absolute favourite store/brand; a place she couldn’t afford to buy from more than a few times in her life, and then I think mostly second-hand. She loved their clothes. The bag was ripped and empty, but I know she was proud of it, even just the bag, because she was always into the stories of how she picked up her favourite things to wear. Trying not to panic about it sitting out there in the cold in the recycle bin, and the fact that I didn’t photograph it first. Hopefully I’ll have forgotten by the end of the week. There’s so much more to do. But this is a start.
I think you would have a problem with how many burgundy pants/leggings/skirts I still have in my closet after my decluttering.
Kid’s room weird debris is gone, craft closet got a strong thinning out (more arriving ASAP) and then my closet got a weak thinning
I dunno, I think there’s a big difference between a kid’s wardrobe and an adult’s? I mean, I assume that you aren’t putting the clean clothes through the laundry for mom to wash because that’s easier than putting them away… or hiding them clean & folded in a laundry basket under your brother’s bed? Then complaining that you have no clothes, because you forgot you hid them there? (We cleaned his pants out too now. He went from 15 to five. The child is going to have to actually Put His Shit away if he doesn’t want to go to school naked)
The ‘clothing scarcity’ worked years ago on both children when they kept wetting their pants when they were past toilet trained but kept getting wet. … Like, the oldest probably 5/6?
Full drawer of underwear? Wet pants guaranteed. No underpants left? Kept dry all day…
When I was raising my kids I only did laundry once a week so everyone had enough clothes for that. I had one day a week that I was home cleaning and also did laundry that day. I saved all my kids clothes until the youngest outgrew them or they were worn out.
I never understood doing a load every day. Now that I am alone I wash clothes every 3 weeks and towels and sheets monthly. We have a laundry room in my condo building so I can do 4 loads at once. Some people have put laundry hookups in their unit but even if I lived 20 more years I wouldn’t break even with the cost.
My husbands hobby involves a lot of his and someone else’s sweat saturating clothing, and his job involves carcinogens on his clothing. I tend to do some laundry daily 
yeah, we have to do at least one load per day or it piles up too much and we can’t catch up. We don’t have a single day out of the week that is “empty” enough to just do laundry on that day. Plus we pay more for electricity after 1:00pm, so we try to do a load every morning before it gets more expensive. So many pee accidents (or worse), sweaty clothes from workouts, etc. Someone’s bedding each week because of some kind of pee accident 
In the winter, we wear a lot of clothes. A couple of my dh’s giant hoodies is a load of laundry right there.
Also, I don’t use the dryer very much, so it’s a lot easier to wash a load whenever the basket is full.
I’m glad that worked for you.
I’m pleased that I’m down to once every 3-4 days now. Between the two kids at least one of them has a wet bed each week, they play hard, they ride their bikes everywhere, and they get dirty.
Less clothes / frequent laundry works here.
All of the reasons people have for doing laundry often make sense to me. I also am glad to see how many parents on this forum have their kids playing outside daily. My boys loved being outside and would get filthy. They had separate school and play clothes so went through many clothes.
Of course as Cranky is finding out going outside in Wisconsin in the winter to play often doesn’t last very long. Sometimes it felt like it took more time to dress them in snowsuits than the time they were actually out:)).
Books to dump’s swap table. All the cook books were gone. Hurrah!
DH had 4 pieces of hobby equipment to purge too.
One thing that’s helping a lot has been my decision to start regularly going into the areas where stuff is stored. The attic, porch, sheds, downstairs office, corners where things are stashed… I find things I didn’t remember that I have and cull, purge, etc. Also, when I make progress in one area and then stop, for whatever reason, I start elsewhere and part of that is diminishng the current pile.
The net result is that the piles are smaller, the house’s floorspace is slowly being cleared, and the piles aren’t the same over and over… What tends to happen is I have a pile of “I don’t know what to do with this” after a while. If I leave it on top and out, I won’t touch it again for some time.
Also, we now have a deadline, family are coming to visit, as a group, next August, so…!
I feel like that’s such a huge first step- just getting around the shame and SEEING what’s going on. Even before you start dealing with stuff.
The shame is so old that I hardly notice.
I know how and why I became a hoarder. The abuser kept threatening Dad would send me away because I was so awful. Pathetic as it is, the little kid decided to spread her stuff out, to make it harder to get rid of her. Also, abuser’s daughter would steal my stuff and the mess made it harder for her to find the best pieces. Finally, if I did something like put a favorite stuffed animal in the middle of the bed, the abuser would get rid of or belittle that piece.
Pretty much systematic brainwashing… if you value it, it will be derided or stolen, or broken… over and over. So, for decades I had panic attacks when my space was tidy and had no idea why.
Its hard to feel shame when your palms are sweating, you’re shaking and near tears… And since I considered myself “less” than others, of course I couldnt do something as simple as keeping my stuff in order.
Almost all that is gone now, thankfully. I just have to be patient with myself and keep on going. And now, nicely, I have a reason other than getting past the emotional crap because of the deadline, that should also make it easier. The house wont be perfect, I know, but it should be significantly better😳
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Hugs.
Thanks!
It’s fantastic to see you win this battle against the abuse and your coping mechanism to survive. I am thinking very bad thoughts about your manipulative abuser.
I rarely think well of her myself. I considered it a major win when I got to the poiint where I could see how and why she would emotionally abuse the 2 little girls in her care. Her daughter grew up to be married 4 times I think it was, a child advocate when younger, then she started to drink like her mom… the last time we spoke she was drunk and suicidal.
I think, although I dont know for sure,that she committed suicide.
I had a way to distance myself. The abuser wasnt my mother and as dysfunctional as my family is, they weren’t as bad… In fact, without the abuse, I wouldnt have the PTSD and probably would have been just another academic like most of my family.
Yard sale today and tomorrow. I don’t have a lot out, but mostly it is small appliances. These are the top layer of stuff that I keep setting aside because they are too good to donate. Whatever doesn’t sell will have a free sign on it by noon tomorrow, and anything left will either be donated or trashed.