A lot of people have been putting in pipecleaners!
Update on me and my wife:
My wifeās fever lasted for 10 days. It finally broke Wednesday morning and she hasnāt had a fever since then. She still has a lingering cough and still feels like crap, but never had trouble breathing. We never got tested since neither of us ever got bad enough to need any medical care. So Iām grateful for that, and I hope it remains true. Sheās not fully recovered, but sheās been sick for 13 days without getting worse, so Iām hoping that means weāre past the riskiest part.
Iām fully recovered, and whatever I had was very mild. I feel totally fine now, my cough and fatigue are gone, and I havenāt had a fever since around the time my wife got sick.
We ended up finding a local grocery store that could deliver before it was safe for me to go out. I was able to make this weekās grocery run today since I meet all the CDC guidelines for fully recovered and not contagious anymore. Itās nice to be able to go to the store I want and pick everything out myself. Still being really careful, though. Wearing a mask, keeping my distance, sanitizing constantly, washing hands constantly, etc.
I hope the antibody tests become available to the public in the near future. While Iām pretty sure we did have it, itās impossible to confirm since we never got tested. And it would give peace of mind to know that we are immune, at least for a time.
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Paper clip for the nose piece, or folded aluminum foil (my choice because I couldnāt find a paper clip, but I havenāt washed the mask yet to see how it survives. I will later today, though.
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My husbandās work is deemed essential so his life hasnāt changed a ton during shelter in place. Theyāve instituted procedures at his clinic to help keep them safe, but he still gets to go to work and interact with others all day long. I am finding myself very resentful of him for the fact that Iāve barely left the house in weeks and his life seems to still be going on as normal. He forgot his lunch at home the other day and got fast food. Today I saw he picked up some dunkin donuts. I am so jealous I could scream.
Any advice to help myself not take any of this out on him? Itās not his fault that Iām stuck inside and my work feels meaningless. Iām going to talk about this with my therapist next week, but I donāt want to be sniping at husband in the meantime.
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Ask him to bring you some doughnuts for starters. If heās going anyway, you might as well benefit.
I know that doesnāt get you out, but it would be better than not having doughnuts.
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I donāt even like doughnuts!
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Hmm. Well, is there some way you can benefit from him going out?
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He is already doing the limited grocery shops for us and we did get take out last week which was lovely. I think some of this is very much tied into my feeling around the fact that he, the man, gets to interact with the outer world, while I, the woman, is relegated to the domestic sphere. I am also being denied agency and choice and am having to depend on him for most of my needs. It grates on me. How did women in older times and in much more conservative communities not rip their husbandsās heads off? Iām getting ready to go full on praying mantis over here.
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This I definitely understand. In this circumstance, itās not gendered but purely the luck of the draw, but the echoes must surely be there. Iām sorry.
Is there anything you can do to blow off steam?
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The echoes are there of both the gender struggles as well as the fact that Iām much higher risk than him due to my autoimmune condition. So we get to throw in some disability narrative in there too. Itās all bullshit and none is his fault. Heās actually been pretty darn fantastic during all this and thereās no one I would rather be with for all of this, but I have a bad tendency to get my hackles up about any of these narratives playing out in my life and all the stress and too much free time is letting me focus waaaaaaay too much on this.
(This is very much a ME problem. I continuously consider going back and getting a Phd just so we arenāt Dr. and Ms. anymore on our mail. I seem to be powered mostly by spite and pettiness.)
As soon as I get some final approval on some work communications Iām meant to send out today my ass is going to settle into ancient egypt and Iām going to kill a bunch of people and explore tombs and pet cats in my video game.
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I support this.
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Plus then you get to be āthe Doctors Marcelaā which is a great way to be addressed.
I just went on a 50 minute run in the rain to work out my frustration, so I donāt have a ton of tips otherwise.
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We both kept our names when we got married so it would be Dr. Marcela and Dr. Husband.
I do love addressing things to The Doctors LastName, though. It just sounds so lovely.
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Took a walk this evening. Lots of folks wearing masks. Lots of folks wearing them with their nose uncovered, and sometimes with their mouth partially uncovered too. Uhhhhhā¦ thatās not how it works.
A crafter friend offered to make us some. Until then, I tried jerry-rigging something involving cut-up clothes that I was going to donate, and a big hairclip to secure it. It works, kind of. Until I get the real thing. Not very comfortable though, and I"d forgotten how much it freaks me out to have my face covered by anything. But, itāll do in a pinch.
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And no flour. Ah well. Happy to be getting a delivery after they cancelled them all a few weeks back.
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Iām jealous.
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The cyclical model is terrifying. Logical but awful . And explains why politicians are suggesting things will loosen up in less than 2 years.
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Loving this conversation. H doesnāt use his title in his work, which I think he should because he actually has a lot of patients say things like āeh so what is this you did, some kind of certificate program to work here? Massage my back!ā
They also donāt wear white coats since they can be restrictive so Hās one form of retaliation is using his full title EVERYWHERE else 
he loves when our mail is addressed āDr. & Mrs. Hā (my mom mails things like this because she knows it thrills him) and he even signed our lease as āDr. FirstName LastName, DPT, ATCā and I told him that was obnoxious.
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Whatās obnoxious about it?
Sincerely,
Smacky McSmackerson, CJ, BSW, MPA
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