The only acceptable breakfast is chocolate cake, and he is facing the oppression of other foods
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I mean, he isn’t wrong
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Muuuuffffins, pancaaaakes.
Ok, right, and if you’d asked hours ago they’d be ready. Now muffins are an hour wait tired kiddo
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Worst part is that I can’t even eat the chocolate cake because then I have to either share or be a hypocrite
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I have seriously reduced my intake of toddler choking hazards for the same reason 
pretzels just aren’t worth being screamed at, it turns out.
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Hypocrisy is underrated.
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In many ways I agree. In terms of the amount of screaming I can stomach… I sometimes wait until I have alone time, or come up with a suitable alternative.
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Time to repost the mom eating twizzlers in the closet video. So true. So painfully true.
At one point in middle school I was able to talk my mom into letting me have brownies for breakfast. I think we were just accidentally out of milk and needed to do a grocery run, but we had half a pan of brownies. That was a glorious morning not only for the brownie but because I very logically pointed out why all the other breakfast options wouldn’t work.
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I wish I had a pantry that is my main takeaway
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Because even though he’s heard it before Rob Zombie’s Dragula song was too scary.
Kiddo had asked to do a dance party because he’s home from school today so I started playing my rock n roll Pandora station on my bluetooth speaker. He had asked to skip some previous song that were slower tempo but for this one he just sort of shut down, sat behind my chair and started crying and I had no idea why so the song kept playing till it was almost over and he was able to say why he was upset. He’s eating lunch now, I hope that helps?
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A fruit fly went near her pear.
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Because I asked mama for help putting on my shirt and then she touched my shirt.
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Because when she dumped water on her foot, it got wet. 
Toddlers are illogical beings as it is. Being sick takes them to a WHOLE new level.
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Mum introduced putting a note in my lunch box and I wanted to read it before going to kindy. When I opened my lunch box it wasn’t the interior layout that I was expecting so I needed mum to rearrange it all.
We were already on track to just make it through the doors before the kindy morning routine started. Pikelet + late to kindy is best avoided.
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“bye bye mummy” *splashed mummy which last night we introduced the consequence of me walking away.
I’m the one crying.
Also because he smelled like gross meat before bath and husboo still smells like gross meat
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Because I won’t let him drink soap water.
Because I cut the grapes in half.
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She wants to grab her penguin, but can’t with her mittens on. She doesn’t want to take her mittens off. No assistance on any measure may be given.
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Because he cannot get inside mummy to sleep.
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Spin off- why are you screaming. Because I wanted my pancake (from frozen) warmed up for breakfast, but I also wanted to be IN the microwave with it. How is irrelevant. Daddy should have figured it out.
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A bit of pastry flaked off my croissant and I can’t reattach it.
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