She asked for me to put the lid on the bin. I put the lid on the bin.
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This reminds me of that time I was incredibly disappointed because I was somewhere?? and people were dressed up like cartoon characters, but they clearly weren’t actual cartoons. Realizing cartoons weren’t real was much more disappointing to me than realizing Santa wasn’t real.
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Mom won’t let me keep chewing on the foil gum wrapper. It’s just like the gum my brother has, right?!?
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Because this boob, which I want to suckle on while I fall asleep, has milk in it! I don’t want milk!
*If I offer a dummy, she is offended that it’s not warm boob. We might be about to have trouble offering a bottle when we finally start tonight…
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Okay so she didn’t cry for this one, but she DID get upset, so I still feel compelled to share.
Why is my child upset? The moon is visible.
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Because daddy shrieked when she licked his nipple 
Pardon me while I DIE LAUGHING instead of comforting my equally traumatized daughter and husband.
Eta and plus side, she used the sign for “milk” independently!!!
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Daddy took a drink from her water bottle.
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I want to play in the toilet.
And stand on the coffee table
And everytime I learn a cool new skill mama makes a new rule
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The bandage on my “python” (aka jump rope) is wrong, because mama did it, but then I pulled it off on accident, and now daddy isn’t doing it right and it’s WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!
ETA - holy eff there’s a lot of yelling. I am not enjoying this stage he’s in.
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I set my phone on top of her folded PJs on the table.
Daddy gave her a snack.
The dog looked at her snack. (From the other side of the baby gate).
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I used a pen and paper at the table while she was eating snack. (Eta which was me working on the April budget challenge. I got as far as getting my husband to pull car insurance numbers and wrote those before breakdown city and all done hands and betrayal pointing)
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I lol’d
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It’s like an arms race. 
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I hate people (me, not the little)
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reasonable. many people suck
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Literally! How fast can the arms get to something new vs mom blocking the fun 
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I was thinking the parental arms blocking things 
I didn’t sleep, because I was holding baby so she could sleep.
(Me, yesterday. Technically dissociating not crying, but crying would have been better.)
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Because toddlers have a deep innate desire to wrap things around their necks, and parents have a deep innate desire to keep them from strangling themselves. A mismatch of goals, if you will. Ribbon related goals.
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You just reminded me I hid Kiddo’s ribbon baton thing at one point ages ago for that exact reason, I don’t actually have any idea where it’s at now. Meh. The intent behind getting it for him was that he’d run and dance around with it, usually he either wrapped it around himself or used it as a gun. 
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