Oof…
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So cute. 
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OMG. So true. But so hard.
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Rude
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From unfuck your habitat. This was me for ages. Still is sometimes tbh. The association insight was a “woah” moment for me.
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Does it refer to becoming upset from cleaning, or cleaning as a stress response mechanism? Or both?
I have become increasingly aware in the past 5 years or so how much external clutter and dirt impacts my emotional state. Like, I put away laundry and unpacked my suitcase and vacuumed last weekend and just Felt So Much Better being in the bedroom (which is also my office and workout room, I leave for meals and TV time).
So like, I will most likely always start cleaning in some degree of distress (if it’s not dirty at all there is nothing to clean). But I also associate it with Improving Things. In fact I find actual cleaning tasks really satisfying due to the instant gratification of the gross-clean transition.
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For me at least I read that as “cleaning as a response to stress/bad feels, as opposed to a response to mess” – which then trains you to associate cleaning with that stress/bad feels. (Which then means that cleaning can induce bad feels in turn.)
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OK this is very important.
When I feel like this, I need to sleep. Even if I don’t feel like it particularly. It’s a flashing neon sign that my executive function is tapped out if I don’t even want mindless internet or snacks.
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Anxiety = (uncertainty) + (underestimation of our ability to cope)
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