I’ve heard some of that too. I think there’s an alternate version as well where they compare what their parents had at their same age and feel things are unfair now. And maybe the parents did have a house, or whatever, but were they also doing vacations and fitness classes and delivery food and high end technology and subscriptions and allll the other things? It’s also like, was that neighborhood as nice as it is now when they bought? Was it all in great repair with nice furniture? In a lot of cases that explains it and I think in others it’s just that the parents really were more wealthy, but that wealth makes it super likely that the kids will still attain super high wealth in their lifetimes too, even if it’s on a slightly or more circuitous slower path. Also area of living, DH and I could totally have a paid off house in a few years. If we were willing to live in a more boring place. We’re not, so we rent. But us renting isn’t like, indicative of us not doing well? It’s a choice, a trade off.
I feel like so much of this boils down to what we conceptualize “rich” as. Because if “rich” is someone living in a luxury home with no limits on spending and no inconvenience then suddenly you can always exempt yourself. Like one really wealthy woman I know talks about how she is less rich than her friends because she does so much hands-on management of their homes and renovations. She knows people who don’t have to do that part either because they have household managers, and she is the household manager, so she’s not rich yet.
I think with people at my level of money: six figure household income, quarter of a million investments, 30s, lots of rich relatives, it’s super easy to feel not rich if you use that barometer of conceptual rich. I have an old used car with lots of issues, for example. We don’t go on fancy vacations often, just every couple of years. I cook our food, we clean our own house, do our own laundry, etc. Some of my clothes are really old. I could not afford to buy a home in the town I attended high school in (but could in the town I lived in before that, which was working class).
None of that makes me not rich it just makes me less rich than some other people. And also a lot of parts of that will change for me, just like they already have over the last 10 years. I highly doubt my husband will be cleaning our house himself when he’s 60. We plan on getting more help as we get older, and spending more in general as we have more. And even now we don’t think twice about spending $200 on dinner for a date. I mean…that was not happening 10 years ago for us, lol. But I think there’s this erroneous idea among my peers that while you can reasonably feel that way at a salary of $120k you definitely couldn’t when your net worth has quadrupled and your income doubled or tripled, but you will because you’ll move the goal posts.
It’s an interesting question though, like: what is rich? And if we’re only talking within a certain nation, why? Doesn’t the global standard of living matter far more? Especially if you’re in one of the richest or poorest countries? A global view makes more sense.
I think it does, but also doesnt. Like it does if we talk access to “lifestyle factors of rich” but not necessarily in “$ of income and investments”, because $20k USD/ year gets you a very different standard of living in different countries. Even at $50k USD, you can be dirt poor because the amenities cost so much (see: housing in Sydney if you’re a childcare worker). As you get higher you move into the “rich no matter what”.
I have “rich” (thats me, I’m rich. I have investments and a house in the city suburbs that is worth the same as my childhood home in a regional town is currently worth! It needs some work but its still a house in a fancy suburb, hello gentrification). We can afford a cleaner when my fitness is poor, and we dont have to think about money. We could save more if we did, but we never really have to worry if we ARE saving money.
But I do care about the billionaires on a statistical level. Thats an awful lot of represented resources tied up and not being used. For governments that money is AFAIK always being shifted and turned over - billionaires, not so much.
I can totally see the housewives becoming obsessive. I watched several friends AND MYSELF looking for something to do during maternity leave because even though we were exhausted, we were also bored. Nuclear family leads to low enrichment for the stay at home parent. This has been far less a problem with our second child, I think, but then again I started doing a lot of art so not sure that’s totally true. I can see how it would feel incredibly restrictive to have the social expectation that you are now There For The Children. Anyway, we were bored even with a bunch of stuff to do, if we’d had excessive help with the kids but not allowed to do non-kid activities like WORK 
not good for my mental health for sure.
It’s definitely easy for me to slip into feeling “middle class”. Pretty sure we are “middle upper” given my childrens number of toys. I am not going to try for comparison to our parents because theres too many confounding factors and I get sad for non-money reasons.
Lots of people don’t seem to get this. Fortunately I have other rich friends here and elsewhere who DO recognise they are rich regularly.
That’s very true! I was thinking less in terms of dollars specifically and more in terms of lifestyle that those dollars get you. Because $50k can also be a huge salary in some places, but also typical American poor looks very different than Afghanistan poor because we have so many more social programs and general stability. Rural American poor even looks so different from Urban or Suburban American poor. IMO rural American poor looks more poor because it’s so underserved compared to urban and suburban.
I remember watching a frontline documentary on YouTube about poverty in the USA and I felt like it was really good and a pretty serious look at things. The people profiled definitely seemed to be living in horrible poverty to me. The comments section was illuminating, lots of people from different countries saying those people looked firmly middle class to them, or saying things like, “wow I guess Americans think everyone is poor if they think these people are poor, that house is way nicer than mine,” or “everyone works that much, what’s the big deal?” etc. Lots of comments on how many tv’s and how much food there was too. I found that really interesting.
I think you also read Factfulness? One thing that really blew my mind in that book was how he explained that if you are rich in a rich country you are basically so removed from most people’s reality that everyone below a certain level looks poor to you. Like standing on a sky scraper and looking down at tiny people walking- you can’t tell who is tall or short because they all look so small. But to people who are living more in the real world, they can see a huge difference between a lifestyle with $2 a day versus $8 a day versus $15 a day. To me they all look just, poor, but to them that’s a life changing amount of difference.
Anyway that’s not really related to what you were saying, just a thought. But I see your point about how from an academic economics perspective how you have to look at the strength of the dollar, cost of goods, standard of living, etc.
What are your thoughts, if you have any, on rich people moving to poor countries in order to retire?
Cough uhhhh look I wouldnt blame the local people for charging them a bit on top everg transaction but its complicated. Theres a bit of a moral difference to me between poorer area in your own country and whole other country. Whole other country feels a bit… Suss. Like theres maybe a good way to do it but I bet theres a lot more bad ways to do it.
Did anyone else watch Sins of Our Mother on Netflix? I had first heard about the case on Kendall Rae’s channel and it is so bonkers.
I’ll have to check it out! I will consume any piece of media about that case, including the dumbest book that I just read, don’t recommend.
I don’t think I posted on here about Lost Girls, right? Really thoughtful reporting about several of the victims of the Long Island Serial Killer and their families. Might be my favorite true crime book of all time
I’m not big on murder-y true crime at all, but I have been following this since the very beginning. N’s friend/old colleague is the reporter who did the most comprehensive reporting on the case and the LDS and SLC ties made it pretty big news here. Haven’t watched yet but will probably sometime this week.
It is next on my list! I just watched Bones’ new show
Wow a celebrity to me
@Bernadette I’ve never read a true crime book! That seems weird now that I say it. Unless ex-cult member memoirs count. What would you recommend if I were looking? Is Lost Girls the one where it was a super fancy area and the women who went missing were all sex workers? And the media and police seriously dgaf?
That is a crazy connection! I heard someone in another documentary that was about an LDS offshoot cult say that they thought the reason there are so many mormon-esque cults is because the religion has so much focus on a prophet who is a lot more modern (even if still historical) than most other religions. And also that they had the belief that god can speak directly to them, and plus they can become gods in the afterlife. So it’s like, an easier sell for people from that background (and who are vulnerable to it in other ways and for other reasons) if you’re someone claiming to be a prophet or a god and piggybacking on what they already believe. I don’t know how true that is but it made me think.
One of the strangest murder cases I’ve ever heard about. The victim (male) is a snake breeder and there are like, allll these people involved? It’s really bizarre.
Fake crime: netflix inside man. I am so in love with this one
True crime podcast: bad women
Fake crime books: the birder murder mysteries
(I know that if I forget to reccomend some of you are going to make sure I end up in a netflix special) 
Are any other Americans super weirded out by the total lack of new info coming out about Misrach Ewuentie? Like no updated news articles for one but also no new communication from the police. Why is the autopsy taking so long? This whole case just reeks to me. Is anyone else following it? I’d love to discuss. My one holdout hope is that they’re not releasing information because they have a strong suspect and are building a case, and maybe don’t want to give anything away. But also Ivy League schools have so much power in the towns they’re in. They often own the majority of the real estate in the entire area, even the buildings that aren’t used for the actual school; they make money leasing out space. And Princeton really wants to act like the campus is super safe and there is no cause for concern which means they would have a strong motive to smooth this over.
I just looked it up! That is awful and super sus. Is it possible that she went for a 3am walk after talking to her family and turned off her tracking and then went into the woods and died of an aneurysm or heart attack. Maybe
Probable? No
This is like when (before location sharing) if I cut across a certain park at nighti used to leave friends voicemails so they knew where to start the investigation. If I had died and police had been like “she probably just decided to come back after half an hour and had a heart attack” my ghost would have been pissed.
Girl shared her location to walk home from volunteering. She wasn’t going to turn it off on a latewalk.
I hate how universities handle this
Right?! It’s so suspicious. Also, I just feel that the type of woman she was (very type A, high achieving) wouldn’t kill herself like that. So unplanned? Like go to volunteer at an event, come home and brush teeth, then go out and commit suicide in the woods? And the area was so wooded they had to remove some plants to get her out.
This case might be the hill I die on amateur sleuth style because I feel really drawn to it and IDK if they will do right by her. I’ve been doing some research on my own and here’s what bothers me most:
I have watched videos of the area where she was found as well as commentary by other Princeton students. It is heavily wooded but it’s also central on campus and people cut through there all the time. How did it take 6 days to find her? I think she wasn’t there the whole time. I believe she was moved. This would also make the dogs make sense because the tracking dogs tracked her to a spot near a lake side. The other side of the lake has lots of apartments where students live technically off campus but very close by.
I also looked into Terrace Eating Club which hasn’t even been mentioned by name in most press, and it’s somewhat sketchy for a few reasons. First, these eating clubs are like, super rich kid clubs not normal college clubs. They are technically independently funded so there is no school oversight and they function like fraternities/sororities. So like, Terrace owns a giant old house and has a-list music perform there. It costs in the thousands to join. The other notable thing is they admit graduate students. AND, alums volunteer. And these people are not vetted through the college just through club admins. I read several (unverifiable) accounts from women who had been in Terrace talking about older male grad students and alum volunteers drugging women at parties and accusations happening but nothing coming from it.
I just feel like she might have been a major target there because she was not a member, just a volunteer. But maybe she wanted to be a member. And she looked so young even for her age which I do personally feel is a draw for predators. Plus she’s a woman of color and Terrace is known as the “woke” eating club and it’s very like in your face about that in a way that feels fake to me.
Like their site says allll this stuff about they were first to admit women, and they acknowledge they are on native land. But then when you look at actual position-holding members they are mostly white dudes. I had a lot of friends at Ivies and from visiting I feel like there is a particular brand of like, rich kid woke-ism that’s totally bullshit and based on like, language only but not action. I just get those vibes at Terrace.
I really wonder if she was meeting up with someone from Terrace after and they drugged her and accidentally killed her. Then kept her somewhere for several days, freaking out, realized she had to be found, and dumped her in the woods.
That kind of makes sense to me because if she was super desperate to join this elite club she might have responded to a 3am text of like “come meet us! we all liked you and want to see if you’re Terrace material!” because apparently these eating clubs also do some light hazing type stuff.
IDK. Just none of it is making sense. The other lead I can think of is construction workers. The area she was found in was near lots of construction and a workman found her. Crews like that often subcontract and don’t do background checks. I’ve heard of a few other cases of guys in that line of work serial killing because they can move around a lot, aren’t on the books, no background check, no drug test, etc.
I am subscribing to your ongoing investigation. I am really happy the family is coming because I think international students get brushed off in investigations
Haha, I’ll keep you updated! And me too re her family. Her family is very involved. They’re also going to pay for an independent autopsy which I thinks shows they are like, not trusting the city to do its job. Which I think is smart, lol.